I have had Herpes for 28 years.
I was infected by a sexual assault when I was a teenager. I did not have very many outbreaks after my first horrendous one until my late 30's and I went into early menopause. I had an outbreak every month, even with medication. This has stopped now for 2 years as I have been on HRT, and it was like it just went. Just completely went.
Until a few days ago. I felt like I was getting the flu, I couldn't navigate the supermarket, my vision was odd, my legs hurt. I was.. itchy.. all over. I had to stay in bed, and it didn't click until this morning when I had such swollen lymph nodes in the groin I couldn't walk properly. Then came the blisters, the shooting pains in my legs. And then shame. All the fucking shame. And the lie that you only get these symptoms the first time is just that, a lie. It is dreadful.
I only joined this forum to vent my black rage at getting this infection. It's not fair, I didn't choose it, I didn't even have fun getting it. I hate the reminder, I hate the pain, I hate that I am losing 2 days of work because this virus has come back with all it's black, shitty, painful symptoms. I feel so rageful and tearful tonight I just want to scream. And cry.
I have no words of hope, none. It's a terrible disease, and I hate it.
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