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HBetty

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  1. That guy sounds like a jerk who didn't want to hear or come to terms with the truth. Dating is difficult period, herpes or no herpes. I myself am going through a little rejection, but he knew about the HSV going in...so I can't even blame that.lol So whatever, that dude was not someone who was going to go the distance. I've found that casual sex can be good (but it's rare for me), but once you get to know someone that's when the sex gets really good. I know this is hard to deal with. I've been backsliding into negative thinking, but the truth is...I did that even when I didn't have this little gift. Life has ups and downs, I can blame my downs on anything. Right now, I'm blaming them on HSV. Before I would of blamed my sadness on my job, or where I was living, or that I was lonely. You're not alone, and there are much better men out there.
  2. I love it! Stop being lazy and calling it quits! Get creative and find fun different ways to be intimate :) Weeee have reasons to push us to do so. Some people don't have these kind of challenges and just repeat routine sex day after day. Not worried about outbreaks but just don't feel like the deed because things have just gotten stale. There is more to intimacy than humpin and bumpin genitals. Love this article!!
  3. Yeah, the fact that they are like "Sign up! it's free! Oh. You actually want to communicate with the people on here...that's going to cost you" is very much BS. I like the idea of the STD dating sites because it takes some complicated talks, and fear of infecting the uninfected off of the table. No, I won't close the door to someone (herpes or no herpes) who may be interested in me, but for now it is nice to see so many handsome faces that are afflicted just like me. I'll still live my life, and if I happen to find someone interesting and vice versa, then I will wrestle the talk. I will be vulnerable, and hope they don't fade away. Because gentlemen never just bolt. Sigh. I understand that the potential to meet someone who doesn't care about this condition or has the same gift as I do is out there. But I really don't want to deal with someone who wants to be OK with it, but deep down they are fearful. I'm getting ahead of myself, but I'm just not up to convince someone every 15 minutes about how low the risks are of them getting it.
  4. Are you on medication? Are you having an outbreak? I feel like if you are on meds, and not currently having an outbreak the odds are very low that he has contracted anything. I think it is something like a 2 percent chance. Breathe. Non of this is your fault. If he has contracted something, it is just luck of the draw. But I highly doubt that if you are taking your meds and not having symptoms that he has caught anything. You did the best you could. Forgive yourself if anything happens. If you could have prevented it, you would have. Some things are simply out of your control. Breathe.
  5. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I get in this mind frame too sometimes. I look at it like those who live life and take chances are going to get messy. So you've got a little battle wound. You are still a wonderful person with a lot of love to offer. Don't let your mind run away with your sanity. Reign her in, and refocus her on other things. People are strong, if you accidentally give someone something and they go in knowingly, they will be strong like you. They will learn to cope, and love and live. They will learn that this is life, and there are no guarantees. They will carry on. You have to allow yourself to live and love. If others are going to sign up for the fight, they will have to assume responsibility for taking the risks. No one ever wants or intends to give someone this. We do our best to protect the one's we love, and the rest is up to fate.
  6. If you are worried that no one will really accept you because of this little gift, that's just not true. There are people who can't handle it, but for every yin there is a yang. There are people who are going to be cool with it. There will be those willing to look past this, and know that you are worth it. The guy that gave it to me, while I wish he could of been upfront about his status, I don't hate him for it. I wouldn't have traded our time together for anything. So he left me with a little gift, but the memories are well worth it. I learned a lot from him. Someone told me once, that "we punish ourselves all the time." It sounds like you are punishing yourself. Stop that! You deserve better. LOTS OF HUUUUUUUUGS - HBetty
  7. Well, I am looking around the HSV online pool, and the water seems pretty enticing. I'm scared to put my face up on profiles. Maybe it makes it all real. I'm not sure. But I've forced myself to do so. It does help knowing that there are a lot of potentially amazing people out there with the same disease. Someone I could meet who will be judgement free, at least when it comes to HSV. Friends, and even my psychiatrist (who chose to mention before our session was over that I will need to use protection for the rest of my life grrrrrr) tend to make me feel less than. Clean. That word clean. "I'm clean." Great! I'm clean too. I showered this morning. Now, let's talk about our STD status. Well, I'm part of a club now. The club of the informed, hopefully honest, and potentially life changing. I feel like a lot of people choose to be in denial when it comes to HSV. Because it comes and goes and can be very mild. They write it off as razor burn and hold their heads high. Well, I'm proud of being informed about my health. Maybe you have it, maybe you don't. Maybe it will rain. Maybe it won't. Either way, I packed an umbrella and I'm ready to go for a stroll.
  8. Maybe he just needs a little time to work things out. We all make mistakes. He has made mistakes. Unfortunately, some people who have not had to deal with this disease buy into the easily spread stigma. He is probably dealing with a lot right now, and so are you. Maybe some space will heal these wounds. The good thing is that he is probably researching herpes and coming to the realization that it is not that big of a deal. Hopefully, he will come around. If not, it is just an extremely hurtful difficult way to learn a lesson about disclosure. Forgive yourself.
  9. Thank you for your response Adrial! :) So sad panda. 6 months of paranoia is not something I look forward to. Can't wait to forget about Herpes, even though it will always be with me.ugh ugh ugh. I've been trying to take care of myself and stay positive but somedays...my mind refuses.
  10. I'm waiting very impatiently for my outbreak to go away, I feel like things are healing and then I see what looks like a scrape on the outside where my leg and lady parts connect. How do I proceed? I've been dealing with fear of knowing whether or not it's over. I got diagnosed 13 days ago and the blister started a few days before that. How do I know if it's over? :(( when can I have sex again?
  11. Really doctors need to find a different way to get rid of warts :( I have scars all over my lady parts because my Dr. was uninformed. Ugh. Molluscum is just like a pimple, pop it and clean it with alcohol. No scaring and cheap solution. Too bad I found out 15 scars later :(((
  12. I'm just worried that I won't know when my first ob is over? I don't see any spots per say but my lady bits are naturally rippled and bumpy especially with a magnifying mirror. Any advice on when exactly it's over? Should I just wait a month to be sure?
  13. Hi there, I was just diagnosed with HSV 2. I have HSV 1 and HPV. I just have a whole family of viruses. Although I'm alone, I'm never alone. eh heh I'm a 29 year old female who is hoping to speak with a male or female out there. Either new to the game or a pro. I'm in Austin TX. If you are local, maybe we could meet for coffee and chat. It would be nice to speak with someone face to face who is sharing the same challenges. Lots of hugs! - HBetty
  14. You didn't do this on purpose. You informed him about your situation, and he knew the risks involved. You are doing the best you can. Something I have to come to terms with is how strong people actually are. If he contracts the virus, he will be strong like we are. He will still have a wonderful life. Forgive yourself. You are doing the best you can, and you are protecting him the best way you know how. The rest is up to fate and chance.
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