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Southernnurse

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Everything posted by Southernnurse

  1. Hi, Jasmine. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone with the self loathing and guilt. I also got this horrible virus from a stranger that I met on whisper. I had been abstinent for six months because I had just HAD it with dating and men. But I stupidly decided to have a fling with a nice looking man who told me lots of lies to seem like a decent person. Let me tell you, after the one night stand I decided THEN to google him and found an arrest record with lots of DUIs and soliciting sex online with a minor. I felt sick and ashamed and angry with myself. If only I had listened to my gut instincts before we went to that hotel room. If only I had made myself get to know him better. If only.... i met the love of my life the very next week. I made him wait a month for sex after the previous incident and got myself tested for STDs. All negative. I had no symptoms. I fell madly in love and now have to live with the fact that I infected him for the rest of his life because I was selfish and stupid. He just says, “I’m so glad it happened with you” and that it’s no big deal, but I am devastated and cry all the time about what I did to him and myself. I even wanted to confront the man that gave me herpes but he is serving jail time for the sex offense until at least February of next year. At least he’s away from society. Makes me sick to think he was going to try to have sex with some little 13 year old girl and give her this illness and stigma for the rest of her life, too. What a POS. I wish someone would find a cure. I’m now expecting a child with my fiancé. I have my first doctors appointment and have to confess this horrid secret.
  2. Hello, all. I’m new to the forum. I have been having issues since January and around August I ordered an at home blood test which was positive for HSV2. I always thought I would recognize the symptoms immediately if I ever got it but unfortunately I didn’t and thought other things were going on like yeast infections and UTIs. I tested for STDs before sleeping with my now fiancé and I was completely negative except that, of course, I wasn’t tested for HSV. I ended up giving it to my new partner and he is the one who had classic symptoms and told me he thought we had it. Lucky for me he has been kind and understanding but I am devastated and pissed off at myself for being with someone before, my last casual fling ever before meeting the love of my life, who did not disclose that information to me. Back to the topic at hand, around April or so I noticed sex would make me sore on the inside after several sessions in a day. We went on a week vacation in July and it was nearly unbearable and I was in tears. My fiancé couldn’t see anything inside me so eventually I took a magnifying mirror and a bright light and found a dime sized ulcer with a white center and red edges near the entrance to my vagina inside a fold on the right side where it couldn’t be seen without prying the fold apart and even then it’s difficult. I’ve tried abstaining from sex for a week and a half or so and started a high dose round of acyclovir followed by a maintenance dose. I’ve tried zinc oxide ointment twice a day and even expensive Manuka honey twice a day. It seems to clear up almost all the way and then as soon as I have sex again I am back at square one. im really upset. I’m getting married in a few months and I haven’t enjoyed sex since about April. I’m going to try abstaining from sex for at least two and a half or three weeks if I can. What else can I do? I do go see my gynecologist who blew it off as nearly healed and suggested A&D ointment. I don’t even think she really saw it. Sex feels like a cheese grater inside! Help!:(
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