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Kells

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Kells last won the day on November 12 2018

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  1. I am very upset with doctors over this. From my experience, they are making it like it is NOT a big deal. After I got hsv1 from a guy I have been casually seeing for over 1 year, I realized a lot. His dr didn't think it was even necessary for him to get tested or even know if he had it after I had an OB and told him to go to dr......Seriously?? So he could possibly go spread it to more people later??? We both had the STI conversation before we had sex and we were tested and clean....so we thought, but that was a false statement. THEY DON'T TEST FOR HERPES IN ROUTINE STI tests. Who knew??? After you get herpes you certainly find this out. Then, now I see doctors are telling people no need to disclose for casual sex?? Yes sure so 100% people can get it?? It would make it a lot easier if everyone had it, that is for sure. I am shaking my head about this whole thing and I am embarrassed to have to disclose. I kinda wish I didn't know I had it, this is such a burden to carry.
  2. I have only disclosed to two people (friends)- one has it too. I have casually been seeing a guy (guy 1) for over 2yrs and he keeps texting to hookup again (I see 2 guys and got genital HSV1 from the other guy, guy 2 who has been around 1.5yrs). I keep making excuses because I am too scared to tell guy 1 I have this now. I like both guys - guy 1 is just casual hookup, guy 2 is a bit more, we do dates, sleepovers and spend more time together - but neither is my boyfriend. Neither of us want serious commitments. I just think guy 1 will disappear if I tell him. Your post is helping me see maybe he won't, but if he does then who needs him right?? 😢😢
  3. For me it was a few days - I had sex on a Monday and noticed a weird bump on Thursday. By the following Monday I had 7 bumps and was in so much pain and felt like I had the flu. I took pics and sent them to the guy I see- he was convinced they were just razor bumps - I know my body. I went to dr that week and found out it was HSV1. I cried a lot and was full of all different emotions. I also pushed my guy to get tested too - his dr wasn't gonna do any tests at first, I kept pushing. He ended up having it too- so I know I got it from him. Unfortunately too many people (seems like mostly guys) don't have any symptoms or don't link a red dot/pimple/blister anywhere on their genital to an STI. Then it gets passed on (to us unsuspecting ladies a lot of the time). I hope you can figure it out. My guy doesn't know who gave it to him, but I am glad I got the closure.
  4. Thanks - If I decide to meetup with him again I will have to tell him - but if I just disappear obviously I won't have to have that conversation. I just don't know if he even deserves to know, I may just ignore and disappear. Would rather he wonder what happened to me then judge me. I know it sux that there is such a stigma associated with this. I wish I was at a place to go be a voice for us, but all I keep thinking is people will think I am a nasty, dirty slut, even though the person who gave me this I have been seeing for over a year. Ugh , this takes SO MUCH STRENGTH.
  5. @TequilaGirl- it's good to know we aren't alone . It even took me awhile to come here. Hugs
  6. @TequilaGirl - he was in a bit of denial at first - trying to tell me it must be shave bumps- I know my body and went to Dr and they swabbed and confirmed. His Dr. didn't think he needed a test due to never having an OB, I pushed it, I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex not knowing who gave it to whom. His dr finally did a blood test after 3wks and it showed he has the antibodies, I had the blood test too and didn't have the antibodies yet. He felt like total crap after and kept saying we are in this together. It took me awhile (5wks...or still lol) to accept I got this - I was mortified and kept talking about it, crying about it, pissed at him, (he didn't know) pissed at myself, pissed at the health care industry for letting us all think we are tested for "everything", but we are NOT tested routinely for herpes- who knew??? My therapist tries to tell me basically everyone has it (1 in 6 people). I am slowly dealing better, but when him and I end things one day, I will have to think about all this again with a new partner ugh.
  7. I am single dating and hooking up with a couple different people over the last 2 yrs. One of these people has been over 2yrs (strictly hookups), the other more serious (dates, sleepovers). I only see the hookup person randomly, no time invested. The other one, we make plans and go out, but he is the one who gave me herpes (he didn't know he had it and never had an outbreak). It has been a couple months now that I have had it. I haven't heard from hookup person til this weekend and I pushed him off, said I was busy. Here is my dilemma- I really want to see him, but I just can't bring myself to tell him about the big H at this time - or ever. I could still see him but limit by activities (I have genital HSV1), I could just ignore him/ghost him til he stops reaching out (but I have no will power), I could make up a story as to why I can't see him/ have limited interaction, or I could tell him about big H. I haven't told anyone yet and I am scared sh*t of rejection from him. Since we don't have any conversations, there really isn't a way to sit down and discuss. Do I even owe him an explanation if I just disappear after over 2yrs of hooking up??? If so, how do I tell him I have gotten this now??? I appreciate some feedback and advice :).
  8. Yes, were together 1yr in Aug when I got HSV 1. He didn't know and never had an outbreak. I am glad I have the closure of knowing who gave me this, he said he doesn't have that luxury (??). I feel initially we got a bit closer because we had to have tough talks, but now I feel we are becoming distant and I may be clinging because I don't think I will find anyone else :(.
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