TopJimmy

I believe it is Hsv2......I am getting tested next week. Meeting her really has been a blessing in many ways.

I am new on the dating scene as I am recently divorced after being married for 17 years. The thought never even crossed my mind to ask so I was very fortunate. The girl in question has been divorced for 3 years and she told me she got it from the guy she had first relationship with after her divorce and he never told her. She really is a cool person and our connection/attraction was instant. The problem is that she lives 2 hours away and has kids as well just like me so neither one of us is moving. If she didn’t have the virus it would be easier to just have and go with it but knowing that she does has made me look deeper into whether or not this would even work out long term which at this point due to th distance and our kids I just don’t see it happening. I hope that makes sense.

I am getting tested next week to see if I have anything that I am not aware of. I know I am very fortunate that she disclosed to me so I could make my own educated choice. Knowing what you all know now, after living with the virus and obtaining it. Given the choice and the risks associated would you have taken the risk?

Oh boy....I know the risk is low but that’s my fear that I would be one of the unlucky ones despite the stats. She told me she is on Valtrex and is well aware of when she feels something coming on and knows to obstain from sex during those period of time but it is my understanding that even outside of when she feels an out break coming on there is still a potential for someone to obtain the virus. I also know I don’t want to have sex with a condom on forever either. I feel bad for her because she is really cool but I know it would really stink.

Thanks everyone.......V I assume you took the risk and ended up obtaining the virus? Was she aware she had it? Was she on meds etc.? Truthfully I am leaning towards not taking the risk.

Hi, I recently when on a third date with a girl and she disclosed that she has Herpes. We did have oral sex on the second date but did not have vaginal. This happened last weekend and I have been processing the information ever since. Based on the research I have done it appears that it is very hard to transmit HSV2 in the genitals to the mouth and in general there is about a 4% transmission rate annually female to male without using condoms or viral suppression. She is on Valtrex so I know the rate would be around 2% assuming no sex during outbreaks and down to 1% if a condom was introduced as well. When she told me it was a shock and I have been trying to process ever since. I really like her but the hard part for me is taking the risk after 3 dates, not knowing where the R will go and if it ends I could have potentially contracted the virus myself. I am sacred and feel stuck. I know deep down inside it is really no big deal but when I think about me contracting the virus and then entering the dating world if I did I know it would be extremely more difficult than it already is. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to handle, deal, process or come to terms with this? I am very sensitive to her feelings, I don't want to hurt her but I feel paralyzed. Thanks!