SimplyC

Tonight I spoke to a dear friend about this experience and I got a reaction I want expecting. It was kind of cold... she said I should not have told so soon, she feels he didn't "need to know " yet. I felt we were getting very close and had already built some trust between each other. Neither one of us were rushing anything, we're both in our 40's trying to do things differently. I was starting to have deeper feelings for him. I felt he was feeling the same, that's why I felt he needed to know. I can't imagine waiting 6 months before disclosing. I think about all the time and energy that both would have invested in the relationship at that point. Wouldn't it be harder to disclose and be rejected the longer you wait? What are your opinions?

Thank you. I'm feeling better about myself every day. I know I'm still a beautiful person in the inside. Some day I will find a partner that will accept me. I just hope rejection doesn't hurt this bad if it happens again.

I was diagnosed a few years back with HSV2. I caught it from an ex boyfriend. I was married to a different man when I found out and I was devastated. My husband was understanding and we continued on dealing with my outbreaks as they came. We have recently filed for divorce. I kind of "forgot" all about having it until I met a wonderful man last month. He was everything I had been looking for; good communicator, very good job, stable, looking for companionship, a gentleman, etc. He disclosed early on that he had a very bad accident about 11 years ago, he broke many bones in his body. He had many surgeries, and walks with a limp. He is also diabetic. When he told me about these things I accepted him because I was looking for more then what's on the surface. We met in person about a week later and he showed me the scars on his elbows, I told him his scars were beautiful because they are part of him, he also has diabetes. As I felt my feelings and his developing into something more, I told him that I had herpes. There was a dreadful awful silence, and I felt it...I felt the rejection immediately. He said he needed some time to process this and to do his own research. We talked for a couple more hours about the virus and many other things. He even made plans with me for the weekend but he cancelled due to a family situation. I have been extremely sad since then, today is the first time I haven't cried when I wake up. Now almost a week has passed and nothing, no more texts messages throughout the day, no more phone calls. What happened to, "I can't wait to treat you the way you deserve...? I have been on many websites trying to console myself. I think about having to go through this rejection over and over again. Today I text him asking that he at least give me the respect and tell me he doesn't want to deal with it if that is the case. I would completely understand and I know he has every right to make that choice. At the same time I feel so betrayed because I accepted him, no questions asked. Did I tell him too soon after 3 weeks? When is the right time? One friend said not to tell until they are madly in love with you. If I waited that long to tell and still got rejected I feel like that is a lot of time and energy to put into something that will never be. I feel like I could get rejected one more time or 20 more times. I am glad I found this support forum as there are no support groups in my area.