[Accepted Then Rejected]

Oh my gosh...what a chicken shit.  That’s just horrible.  I hope karma gets him.  I am learning to love myself regardless.  I haven’t been on the dating scene since that happened to me but it’s starting to get a bit lonely so I may try it once again. COVID certainly isn’t helping us but I’ll give it another go.  I did talk to a couple people on a herpes dating site but ughhhh...that was their main focus, the herpes diagnosis...no real conversation to even speak of.  Kinda weird.  You’d think ok, we know we both have it so...what do you like to do in your off time, what are your hobbies, any kids,...nope, none of that.  So back to the ol Zoosk it is 😂

[1st time disclosing and feeling ashamed]

I understand your feelings completely. Don’t feel ashamed. If it weren’t for the stigma attached to it, there would be no shame.  Thanks a lot media 😂. 

I’ve had HSV2 for 26 years and contracted it from my husband who didn’t know he had it. Anyways, he has since passed away and dating in itself is awkward to me but now to have to make this disclosure just adds more stress to it.  I did start dating a guy and when I disclosed, he was accepting of it for 2 months then out of nowhere, I was totally blindsided by him when one day he said he had a hang up about it and that’s how it ended. So now, dating has gone by the wayside for me because now I have a lot of trust issues.  Is the next guy going to do the same thing?  I lost my best friend and never imagined my life going down this road.  So as for now, the single life is where I stand because rejection is hard.  I’ve read success stories and even have 3 very good friends with HSV and have found great relationships, so it is possible but I don’t take rejection well.  It’s funny, because all 3 friends weren’t rejected and have been with their husbands for 5-15 years now so happiness can be found.  I guess if they don’t see you for who you are, rather than a virus, they aren’t worth your time. 

[I can’t stand the terms STD or STI...changing it up]

To everyone that has commented that I’m not being transparent is inaccurate. I’m very open to what I have, not hiding anything just don’t like the term disease or infection. That’s it....I would never hold back the truth about a virus I have and can transfer to somebody else.  I know somebody that has done that and to me it is disgraceful.  Everybody needs to be upfront about the situation at the appropriate time (before sex of course). I think my initial statement has been taken out of context.  I didn’t mean for this to be misleading by any means 

[I can’t stand the terms STD or STI...changing it up]

I do go into detail as not to confuse them but I choose to leave the word disease or infection out because to me it makes it sound that you have constant blisters or something  (which, thank goodness I’m one of the lucky ones that don’t  get an outbreak but maybe every two years and even then it’s only on my thigh)

[I can’t stand the terms STD or STI...changing it up]

So after my first disclosure and was accepted at first then rejected 2 months later, I gave thought to the terms that are frequently used...STD or STI.  The words disease and infection sound horrific.  I’ve since started using the term ST immunity.  I have disclosed to two other people, both of whom accepted it, one of which I knew it wasn’t going to be more than something casual and the second guy I’ve been seeing for about 4 months and going great.   My disclosure of ST immunity just went as “I have an immunity to HSV2 although it can be transferred to somebody who has no immunity to it, it’s something that I acquired 26 years ago and hasn’t defined who I am, blah, blah, blah.”  It seems the word immunity can be handled much more easily than the word disease or infection. Just something to think about 😊

[Accepted Then Rejected]

I hear ya. I’m 51 and trying to start a whole new life and after my first rejection, I feel the same way on some days. Other days I just feel like “screw it, this is me and herpes hasn’t changed who I am, so if they have an issue, they are shallow and are only out for sex and nothing more meaningful “. I do have constant battles in my head but I can’t let the negativity win. 

[Rejection after Acception]

Thanks for the consoling response. Yeah, I know not everybody is like that and I shouldn’t let my first rejection and disclosure cloud my judgement but right now it does. We live in a small town and fortunately for me we havent ran into each other. I guess I just need time to get over it. Thank you again 

[Do you give it a second chance?]

Thank you for your insight. Yes, this whole dating thing is a leap of faith regardless of the virus or not. Even without the virus, like in your case, I’m sure it would’ve been something else that he didn’t like about me so I guess it’s time to move on. Thank you again 

[Do you give it a second chance?]

Just wondering here...has anybody ever disclosed, been rejected and the person comes back with a different perspective (possibly after further research on this dang virus) and wanted to try again?  If so, was it mentally challenging knowing they didn’t want to be with you from the start? 

[Rejection after Acception]

So I’ve been HSV2 positive for 26 years. I got it from my husband who passed away 3 years ago and am just now trying to find my way into this whole dating scene ...ugh. It’s hard enough to date at 51 years old but with the ol virus thing makes it just that much harder.  Well I met this wonderful guy and the connection was instant (he is widowed as well so we really bonded inthat area) however the feeling of being rejected was in the back of my head. We went out on three dates three nights in a row (at his request) so after the third date I had to do the ol texting disclosure (I know, chicken of me).  He responded nicely and then still wanted to continue seeing me. He said he did research and we just need to be careful. Wow, how awesome is this I thought.  He continued to call me and we went out daily and he spent the night several times and I did as well at his place.  2months later, he drops a bombshell on me and says “this just hit me in the face. I know it sounds shallow but I don’t think I can continue this after you told me you were having an episode”. I was very upfront. I don’t get many OB, maybe one a year and it’s nothing. I get one little sore on my ass cheek and when I told him at that time what was going on he said “we both knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, so what’s wrong”. So, again accepting my diagnosis. I think I could’ve handled the rejection easier if he would’ve said he couldn’t see me right off the bat rather that string me along. Anyways, after that rejection, I have major trust issues as far as a man accepting this.  I have my guard up now BIG TIME.  It was not only an emotional wound but very much a mental one  

Has anybody else out there dealt with acception then rejection?  

[Accepted Then Rejected]

So I’ve been HSV2 positive for 26 years. I got it from my husband who passed away 3 years ago and am just now trying to find my way into this whole dating scene ...ugh. It’s hard enough to date at 51 years old but with the ol virus thing makes it just that much harder.  Well I met this wonderful guy and the connection was instant (he is widowed as well so we really bonded in that area) however the feeling of being rejected was in the back of my head. We went out on three dates three nights in a row (at his request) so after the third date I had to do the ol texting disclosure (I know, chicken of me).  He responded nicely and then still wanted to continue seeing me. He said he did research and we just need to be careful. Wow, how awesome is this I thought.  He continued to call me and we went out daily and he spent the night several times and I did as well at his place.  2 months later, he drops a bombshell on me and says “this just hit me in the face. I know it sounds shallow but I don’t think I can continue this after you told me you were having an episode”. I was very upfront. I don’t get many OB, maybe one a year and it’s nothing. I get one little sore on my ass cheek and when I told him at that time what was going on he said “we both knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, so what’s wrong”. I think I could’ve handled the rejection easier if he would’ve said he couldn’t see me right off the bat rather that string me along. Anyways, after that rejection, I have major trust issues as far as a man accepting this.  

Has anybody else out there dealt with acception then rejection?