Sorry a little late to the party but I just found out I had g hsv-2 exactly a month ago today. I am 23 girl & currently traveling the world. I was of course devastated by the news at first, as we all are. After the initial shock though & constant research I did I started to feel better. I stopped going through the scenarios I. My head of how I could have prevented this from happening because I realized I can’t change the past but I can take charge of how I cope with it in the future & now. How I have been looking at it as of late- 1.) this disease is a mild skin rash that most people are uneducated about- doctors are right when they say it is mild disease. It isn’t cancer- you are not loosing any of your true health! You get sores that heal in week and they go away like a scratch, yes they come back and they are annoying but again not life threatening.
You can still have sex!!! & lots of it! Know the risk and the numbers. I will leave a website link here for the transmission rates which are low when you take charge! 8-10% chance of giving it to a partner annually WITHOUT medication or condoms. That percentage gets cut in half if you just antivirals. Read more here: https://herpeslife.com/rates-of-herpes-transmission/
2.) YOU ARE COMPLETELY STILL YOU! Your worth does not dwindle because someone was not truthful to you. No one (other than sexual partners of course) has to know you have this if you don’t want them to, your personality, confidence, & allure is not gone! You are still loved and are still completely lovable.
3.) Disclosures are scary but it doesn’t have to be. Take control & don’t pity yourself when telling people. Lead the conversation in a confident way & let them ask questions. I generally go along the line of “ I have a disease that causes me to get sores on my vagina. It’s called herpes. It is contagious & I want to protect you from this because I was not given the choice. I have a 4% chance of giving it to you when I’m on medication. If we use condoms it brings it down to 1%. I listen to my body & when I get an outbreak we will just have to get creative because that mean no sex - I want to keep you safe.” It has brought me closer with my partner because they know I care enough about them to protect them. It’s vulnerability & raw & really a chance for your relationship with someone to grow & connect.
WE ARE NOT HERPES! We are still the strong independent women & men we always were!