No More Tears D

@tiredandlonely thank you! Yes. I believe my anxiety plays a huge role in this. I can’t tell what is what anymore. Thank you for your advice.

Does anyone else experience sex as a trigger for an outbreak? Does it happen every time? Is it an outbreak? Or just sore/achey from rough sex... every little thing I feel that is “off,” I assume it’s H related. Mentally and physically exhausted of this life already. Silly question, but if two people are infected with, let’s say hsv2, can having sex with each other cause each other to have an outbreak? Does that indicate that one may be shedding? Hope that makes sense. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you.

Same. Over a month later, I’m still panicking about him. Haven’t heard from him. So hoping that’s a good sign? Praying for you.

@Anonymous88 yeah. I just need to move forward but can’t until I know he’s okay. Idk how or if I’ll ever know if he will be. I’m still so perplexed in terms of disclosing to him although the deed has been done, multiple times. I’ve been getting different answers but nothing seems right 😞 I’m so sorry that happened to you. I truly believe, and I’m sure most will agree with me, the mental pain is so much worse than the physical of this. I’ve suffered with severe anxiety and depression most of my life, so this has just been absolute hell for me. I’m 26 and feel like my life, especially love life, is over. You’re right. I’m sure my friends would never judge me, but I’m just embarrassed. Like I said, I work in a very social and public environment. The news would spread like wild fire. Going to work would be hell. God help me. I wish nothing more than to go back in time.

@Anonymous88 thank you for your kind words. I feel guilty because I kind of just dropped it... I should have been more active about getting tested and learning more about it instead of living in ignorance. I take daily Valtrex and have been for over a year for frequent coldsores, so I’m hoping thats in his favor in regards to transmission. He’s made comments about “feeling bad for people with herpes” because “what a shitty life they must have.” We were at lunch after our last unprotected encounter and when those words came out of his mouth, I started to sweat. My heart began to pound and I was trying so hard not to cry. He is in my friends circle, I was introduced to him by a close friend of mine and no one knows about my status... so if indeed infected him, everyone will find out and I basically will be shunned and hated. It’s been about 10 days now and still nothing from him in regards to his genitals, or much from him at all actually... Every day that goes by I breathe a little easier knowing that is one more day without a symptom for him 😞 I’m making myself crazy. I agree with you about the casual sex thing. You really never know and you should always protect yourself but it doesn’t make me feel any better... I don’t know what to do. Thanks for your response.

@Amando hi there. Thank you for your reply. I’ve thought about this but I believe it’s highly unlikely as he just got out of a three year relationship, and I know his ex. That is what scares me the most. Our first unprotected sexual encounter was six weeks ago exactly. Two days after, he became very ill and was actually hospitalized due to extremely high fever and was diagnosed with strep. As far as I know, no symptoms of HSV. This is when I first came to this forum in a panic because for the first time in a long time, HSV came to mind. As he began to get better, and I still heard nothing about genital symptoms, the anxiety slowly subsided. Since then, we’ve had sex about four more times, and this last time, about ten days ago now, I broke out. We also used toys... which I’m hoping could be the culprit as to why I became irritated and caused an OB? Could that happen? Could the reason why I broke out is because he may certainly have it? Because if that’s the case, it’s most likely from me 😞 and not only does that seriously scares me, it makes me absolutely sick. Reading your success story gives me hope. I’m still anxious and probably will continue to be. Unfortunately that’s just how I am. Thanks again.

@gracie no, he doesn’t know that I believe I have HSV 2 😞 I’ve been living in denial until this, what I believe is an OB... as much as I would love to believe what I am experiencing isn’t, it’s pretty hard to deny. Thank you so much for your kind words... it means a lot. And reading your success stories helps me greatly as well. I’m conflicted as to what I should do in regards to telling him. He wouldn’t take it the news lightly. He just got out of a three year relationship... he also is in my friend circle, and no body knows about my situation or status. Which is also why this has been so hard for me. We all work in a very social, and public eye, so if this gets out, I fear the worst. I really am just praying for the best in terms of his health not being affected. I gusss only time will tell. Thanks again.

@TBarr thank you for your response. The guilt is eating me alive. This is just a casual sex partner... I began developing feelings for him although he has made it clear this is just sex for him. So imagine how horrible it would be to pass this to someone unknowingly when it’s just casual for him 😞 I feel awful.

Hi all. Just need some advice and to hear some positive outlooks about this topic... What type do you have? Do you use antivirals? Condoms? No protection? How long have you and your partner been together? Is your partner still HSV free? I have slept with someone about five times, twice with the intent of protection (condoms broke). I am on Valtrex. I have been taking it for the last year for frequent coldsores, so I have HSV 1 and 98% sure HSV 2, genitally. This guy has made it very clear he doesn’t want a relationship. Please no judgement here, as I’ve posted my story before but long story short, I’ve had conflicting blood tests in the past... so I’ve lived life like I don’t have HSV 2, until recently. About two days after our last sexual encounter, 8 days ago, I broke out with what I believe is my very first OB 😞 I haven’t heard from him... and every day that goes by, I wait for a text from him asking WTF?! Every day that goes by and I don’t hear from him, I can rest a little easier until I wake up with that same anxiety and do it all over again. Jumping to my phone every time it makes a noise saying “please God, don’t let it be him.” I definitely will not be seeing him anymore and especially sleeping with him. I go to the gyno on Monday as symptoms are still obvious. Idk what to do. Ghost him and hope for the best? Tell him? Wait for him to come to me and tell him then? As you all can see, this anxiety, depression, paranoia, guilt, shame and embarrassment is absolutely eating my alive. I have never been so scared and so worried about anything, and I’m talking about transmission to this guy. Do you think there could be a good chance that he is okay and I didn’t pass this on to him? I’m praying that no signs or symptoms plus antivirals are in his favor... I haven’t heard from him in regards to feeling unwell downstairs. Any and all advice and success stories would be highly appreciated as I am a complete mess. Thanks again for the non judgment. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about hurting the unknowing. I never want anyone to feel how I am feeling now, this is torture in itself, and I’m not talking about the ob.

This resinates with me more than ever. I can't even look at myself the same way. I look in the mirror and just start crying. How could I have been so stupid? So naive? The emotional and mental pain is by far the worst part of all this. I don't know how I'll ever go back to feeling normal 😥

I’m feeling the exact way you are and wondering the exact same thing. Haven’t cried for so long or felt this empty in my entire life. I’m here for you.

Hey guys. I’m sorry to be so negative on here. Long story short, I came in desperation to this forum in hopes to continue living in ignorance. After multiple inconclusive tests through out the years, I dropped it considering I’ve never had a physical symptom and haven’t thought much of it until sleeping with a new partner unprotected about a month ago... two days after we had sex, he became very ill. He ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed with strep and an autoimmune disease. He never mentioned any discomfort in regards to his genitals, but never have I had so much anxiety thinking it’s something else, HSV2... He became better, and the anxiety slightly subsided. We have had sex a few times since he became better, but the anxiety instantly comes back every time... Our last sexual encounter, I woke up three days later with without a doubt is an outbreak. I can’t deny it anymore. This is nothing like I’ve ever experienced. I go to bed crying and wake up crying. I can’t breathe. I can’t stop thinking about it. I 100% believe this ob was brought on by stress in thinking I infected someone who doesn’t deserve it. I’m just waiting for a text from him asking WTF did you do to me? This is the most pain I’ve ever been in, mentally and physically. I need help. In all regards. Thank you.

Hi guys. Three days ago, I have rougher than normal sex with my new guy. Toys were involved, things got pretty wild. Fast forward two days, and I’m pretty sure I’m expericing my very first OB... 😞 which makes me wonder, if he indeed has hsv2? Is it a coincidence that this would happen two days later? Or can the sex just trigger it? I’m worried about him. Thank you.

@100918 this is my exact situation. Index value and all. I’ve had laser hair removal x6 times... drink what I want, eat what I want. And don’t even get me started on stress. Anxiety is my middle name! Never had a symptom, not once. I’d be curious to see what your WB would be. I’m thinking I want to do one as well... thanks for sharing.

At what number igg result can we say we definitely have hsv without any symptoms/outbreaks... ever? Scared to retest although this anxiety is unbearable 😞 Thanks.

@Melissa I’m so sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing.

Hi there. I’ve asked about initial, primary outbreaks, but what about your every day recurring outbreaks? For someone that supposedly has a positive hsv2 blood test, I’ve never had a symptom that I’m aware of. But every time something feels “off” I automatically assume hsv2. I know everyone is different, but I’m just curious as I’m trying to figure this out. Thank you.

@Tk2019 yeah 😞 every time I’ve asked to be tested, they tell me it’s not advisable because I have no symptoms. Makes no sense. He’s not my boyfriend... a new guy I’ve been seeing. We slept together once, unprotected, and two days later he woke up very sick. This is why I started to worry again. I haven’t thought about it in years until this happened to him. He hasn’t mentioned anything about symptoms downstairs... so idk.

@Anonymous88 omg. That sounds absolutely horrifying. I am so sorry you experienced so much pain 😞 my heat goes out to you. Thank you for sharing. It’s just so mind blowing how everyone can experience such different symptoms... makes it so challenging to pin point what exactly is going on. Hope suppressive therapy has been working well for you!!

@janeen I’m so sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing. No, I don’t think so? I’m trying to figure out if I ever have. Long story short, I’ve had inconclusive blood test results in the past and per my doctors advice, to not retest if there are no symptoms present. Fast forward, I met someone and slept with him a few weeks ago. He woke up so sick two days later with what the doctors told him was strep throat. He hasn’t mentioned any genital symptoms or anything in regards to hsv. Now I’m questioning my own status and feel like I should retest because I can’t help but worry about him. I’m trying to think back and pin point if I’ve ever experienced an outbreak but I truly don’t believe I have. It’s just mind blowing to me that one can carry this disease but never show a symptom. I have a hard time believing I have something if I’ve never had a symptom 😞 I’ve had cold sores my entire life. So I know what those feel like..

Thank you for this. I needed this.

@missyg002 please tell me how you got to this point! I wish I could think like you. Thank you for your words. It’s more than appreciated.

Hi there! I would love a buddy, gender doesn’t matter to me 🙂 I’m a 26 year old female who lives in Chicago. I’m extremely anxious and sad, so any support is appreciated. Thank you all.

Mild? Rash? Flu like symptoms? If so, like what? Sore throat, fever, sinus issues? Worst pain you’ve ever felt? Itchy? Burning? Sores? No sores? Discharge? How long after exposure? I’ve read so many different experiences. I’m just curious. Still trying to figure out if I’ve ever had one without knowing... or if the guy I recently slept with indeed had one two days after I slept with him 😞 any insight would be appreciated. Thank you!

@Tk2019 thank you for that. It’s definitely hard for me to understand, but I think I need to all to my doctor again. Ouch 😞 I can’t even imagine how that would feel... I’m so sorry. Ignorance is truly bliss, especially when it comes to this. That’s what I’m afraid of. Idk what to do. Idk if I should tell him to get tested or leave it alone. No answer feels right and this anxiety is killing me.