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glassovy

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Everything posted by glassovy

  1. thank you for your response @mr_hopp!! and the information. i totally get it, so I’m wondering am I just being a little mean when I say why is it fair that he’ll be okay to have sex with me but not go down on me? i honestly am lucky cause I could care less about it, so it’s not a big deal, but I’m my mind it’s like either you accept it or you don’t, I don’t feel like there’s really any gray areas with this stuff. Can you offer your thoughts? Thank you xo
  2. I have to ask, because I genuinely would like to know how y’all think about that scenario. Dating someone, who I have an amazing connection with, that I love, who knows what I come with. Obviously he accepted it because we’re dating, but can I be upset that he still gets nervous about intercourse? I was diagnosed with GHSV1 in 2013, and haven’t experienced symptoms since... My boyfriend will gladly have unprotected sex with me, but still gets uncomfortable with going down on me as he feels that’s more of a risk than intercourse. To each their own, cause he has done his research and has come to some sort of peace with it in order to have a relationship with me at all, but am I being ridiculous in the fact that I feel like this is almost a conditional part of our relationship? He’s expressed before his feelings of being nervous, and I don’t want to blame him, but I almost want to. How can you accept parts of it, and not others? any thoughts would be helpful! xo
  3. So I had that happen to me right after I disclosed too. It was normal, a little hesitation from him in the beginning, but I still felt sad cause I could feel him distancing himself a little. It is a really sad feeling cause you almost can’t help to feel like it’s your fault. That you screwed up the relationship. That’s how I felt. And I tried my best to be positive and let him have his time to think about things, and research, because it is their right, but honestly if the way he’s acting is something that isn’t changing after a little while, it may make you two resent each other. If I can offer any advice, I would say not to push it or ask if he’s okay or bring it up too much in the beginning. Try not to focus on the differences in his actions, unless of course it’s harming you mentally or physically. Try to enjoy his company and the relationship without stressing or straining about the situation and see if that helps. After a few weeks, if it’s still the same and he still seems disconnected, maybe revisit the topic and see if he has any issues. Because after disclosing, for me, I felt like with this guy, if it had ever worked out, it would have been such a strained relationship and it would have been unenjoyable. I imagined that with him, he would always be paranoid and worried about everything if we did try to have a romantic relationship, with sex, and that’s not how a relationship should be. It would just lead to resentment from both ends, I feel, so definitely give him a chance to get it together but know your boundaries. You’re beautiful for disclosing, cause I’ve been on both sides before. It’s not an easy thing.
  4. I’m so sorry. It’s a really crappy thing to have to go through, really. Just remember how wonderful you are and push through, it’s all we can do. things tend to fall apart so better things can come together, I believe that entirely! Maybe he was getting me ready for Mr. Right!
  5. Thank you! I appreciate that!! Unfortunately my update still is the same in the fact that he does not want to pursue a relationship. The feelings and chemistry are still there, 100% (since I make the best decisions, this guy is a work acquaintance so I still have to see him pretty frequently, and I still get butterflies seeing him). He has had a long time to process everything, and has chosen himself in this situation, and I’m trying to learn that I can’t blame him; but also trying to remember that it is ultimately his loss because I could have made him so so happy. I still feel like I cling to some sort of hope- that maybe he’ll change his mind or come around. I think that with this sort of situation, the other person definitely has a right to be worried and consider all things possible before jumping into something. But I kind of had to put a time limit on how long I’d be willing to wait and see if that would happen. Who knows, it could still happen? But I might be in a totally different mindset at that point. but currently, I am still very sad. I can’t lie about that. It’s hard when you become so vulnerable and trusting towards someone and then lose that. Through it all though, I’ve learned lots of valuable lessons and will always (try to, sometimes it’s hard!) remember my worth no matter how anyone makes me feel.
  6. Thank you so much. I definitely agree that i’m worried about my sadness turning into self-pity, for sure. It’s one of my first times going through it so I already see myself slipping here and there and doing it. But thank you for also reminding me that I did good. 💜 I know I did.
  7. Well, I really liked this guy. Probably the most amazing & genuine connection I’ve ever experienced in my life. One of those fairy tale, cliche types of feels for this boy. i knew having the talk with him was going to be hard. He was the first person that I wanted to date since being diagnosed so it was terrifying. He made the process so easy. Told me that it didn’t change the way he felt towards me and that he still really really liked me. Score. I thought the hardest part was over. I think it was, but maybe i’m just being a little dramatic with my feelings here but, now i’m hurt. A week goes by and his feelings change; his worried about it and what it’ll do to his body. Totally fair and understandable. But he wants to think about it more. I lose it. Cause I can’t sit around and wait for someone to decide my worth if they have already decided in their head they’re veering in the other direction. So I cried. A lot. In front of him. At home in bed. And driving to work the next day. It really sucks. But ultimately, I hope I become a stronger and more amazing person by doing the right thing. Just can’t see it now but hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay eventually. Sometimes it’s just harder.
  8. Well, I really liked this guy. Probably the most amazing & genuine connection I’ve ever experienced in my life. One of those fairy tale, cliche types of feels for this boy. i knew having the talk with him was going to be hard. He was the first person that I wanted to date since being diagnosed so it was terrifying. He made the process so easy. Told me that it didn’t change the way he felt towards me and that he still really really liked me. Score. I thought the hardest part was over. I think it was, but maybe i’m just being a little dramatic with my feelings here but, now i’m hurt. A week goes by and his feelings change; his worried about it and what it’ll do to his body. Totally fair and understandable. But he wants to think about it more. I lose it. Cause I can’t sit around and wait for someone to decide my worth if they have already decided in their head they’re veering in the other direction. So I cried. A lot. In front of him. At home in bed. And driving to work the next day. It really sucks. But ultimately, I hope I become a stronger and more amazing person by doing the right thing. Just can’t see it now but hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay eventually. Sometimes it’s just harder.
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