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Hereforalongtimnotagoodtim

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Hereforalongtimnotagoodtim last won the day on September 15

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  1. Thanks, this is really helpful. I’ve heard this often, that it doesn’t prefer to hangout orally. When you say I’ll develop antibodies, I was diagnosed 8 months ago with hsv2G, and I can already tell that my body has developed antibodies, because it’s becoming more infrequent and more mild with every reoccurrence. Do our bodies continue to build antibodies? For instance, is my body building up a defence against outbreaks in my throat now? Or does this happen in general?
  2. So, just found out I have hsv2 at the back of my throat as well! It’s been a strange few weeks, I’ve been outbreak free for nearly 4 months. 3 weeks ago though I noticed something that looked like a canker sore at the back of my throat. It didn’t hurt at all it was just kind of hanging back there. I went to my doctor and she said she had no idea, just keep an eye on it. I went back a week later because it grew to be about 3-4 mm and I had a bit of white puss around the back of my other tonsil. She still coudnt explain it so she booked me with an ENT. Then 4 days after that I started waking up with jaw pain on one side, it hurt to clench my jaw. So I went Back to the doctor again and this time she decided to do some swabs. I just got the phone call to confirm it was an hsv2 outbreak in my throat. What a weird year this has been?? It was entirely painless which I think is a bit strange. And the jaw pain, I assume it was connected to it because now I feel fine. Does anyone here have any experience with this, I feel like I’ve been diagnosed all over again.
  3. First of all, I’m so sorry this is happening for you. I don’t think there’s a person in this community who would say that being diagnosed wasn’t a traumatic experience. All of us have been there, it’s horrible, there’s so much uncertainty, fear and anger. I’ll share my story because it’s a bit similar to yours. I also acquired GH while on a break with my partner. It was my decision to split up, I wasn’t in a good place and we were fighting over things like finances and whatnot. A few months in a had a fling with someone and shortly after went through all the classic signs and symptoms and then the diagnosis. My partner has been one of my best friends since we met so we still talked when we were spilt up. A few weeks after being diagnosed I told him and he was surprisingly supportive. A little bit of time passed and we got back together and now we’re stronger than ever and we don’t think at all about H. I’m not sure how your boyfriend will react, I hope that he will be understanding even if he needs some time to come around, but it’s important for you to know that your life is far from being over. A friend of mine who also has GH was the person who mentored me and coached me through it, and she said she regrets having spent almost a year feeling sorry for herself because now it has no bearing on her life. I was doubtful at the time but 7 months later, I get it. Take all the time you need to look after yourself, read and educate yourself, and I highly recommend visiting an actual sex clinic where the nurses are well educated with sexual health, it helped me so much. I can understand those those feelings of guilt too, shame, guilt and regrets that you acquired this the week you were split up. I was in the same place too, but Youre a young 18 year old though and you have every right to have sex and enjoy your body and have those experiences! It’s sad that there is so much shame around sex in our culture, but that’s where all of this negativity and dread about H comes from! I think when your initial outbreak ends you will feel a lot better. I know you have the added stress right now of dealing with letting your boyfriend know, but it will get worked out and it will be ok. Most people are not well educated about STDs and don’t know that herpes is just one of those things that can be there and someone doesn’t know they have it. Hell, I’m in my 30s and working on my third degree now and I didn’t know this! So please, try not to be so hard on yourself. We’re human. Also, a lot of people have this, I was shocked after I opened up to some of my friends to learn that lots of women have it! They say it’s something like 1 in 4 women! Anyways, if you need to chat please feel free to message me. I also recommended watching the episode of Adam Ruins Everything about sex (I think it’s season 3 episode 10?) The friend who coached me in the initial month told me to watch it and it took me a while to come around to it and boy was I glad I watched it! Check it out and don’t hesitate to reach out to me or to this community.
  4. This looks very interesting, thank you! I actually started eating more garlic, I mix it in with everything now and I’m wondering if it’s the reason that my outbreaks have stopped. Anyways, I’ll be interested to take a look at this!
  5. Yes, when I originally went to my doctor she also said she’d rather not. Her position was that we don’t know much about the long term effects of the medication on the body and also that she only believes in prescribing suppressive for people who have 6 or more outbreaks a year. This is her opinion and what she said, I know that it’s not necessarily the reality of the situation. It made me feel a bit powerless in my decision making but I decided to trust her on it. I haven’t had any outbreaks in a while and I wonder if it’s becsuse my bodies been able to develop it’s own immune reaponse without the help of anti-viral? I dunno for sure it’s just a theory I have. If you feel strongly about suppressive then it might be worth switching doctors if that’s an option OR telling your doctor you’re getting back to back outbreaks. I spoke to someone at the sexual health clinic abOut this and she said it would have been fine to go on for a year but that she has patients who have been on for 3 or more years (when they don’t really need it anymore) and that she thought it was unnecessary. I dunno, for me I’m happy with the decision because it feels like my bodies got a handle on it now on its own, and I’m with a partner who doesn’t care about it so for my situation it’s worked out for the better. You may have to consider where you’re at and if it’s something you really would like to do I’d definitely come back to that doctor and try again.
  6. I haven’t personally been in the situation yet of having casual sex with herpes, but when I found out I had it, one of my really good friends put me in touch with her friend who has it as well. She told me that at first she thought casual sex was over for her but in her experience no one was ever turned off by it when she disclosed. There was 1 person in the grand scheme of things who refused after that but she has no regrets to this day because he was an asshole anyways so it saved her from going through with that. That’s why people say it can help weed out the undesirables I guess. But really she said it didn’t change her ability to do that, it was an extra step to take beforehand but it wasn’t a deterrent for 99% of the people she went on to sleep with after that. I know everyone’s experience is different with this and there may be people here who would tell you they had a harder time of it, but I would look up some info on how ppl successfully disclosed. I do think it’s important though to be upfront and honest with people even if it’s a one night stand.
  7. Thank you so much for contributing this. It’s interesting that health “professionals” are perpetuating this. I had the same experience with th doctor who diagnosed me. She said it did look like herpes and then she reassured me that my partner probably got cold sores as a kid. I didn’t think much of it until months later, now it feels like it was meant to be a subtle reassurance that I had the better one. It’s very interesting...
  8. @mr_hopp That’s a really great video. Thanks for that, I’ve missed out on a few chances to make a better impact and yesterday was the first time that I took up the chance to myth bust. Slowly I’m getting more comfortable with sharing my own experience and honestly it feels a lot better than not saying anything at all. I don’t regret speaking my truth yesterday but I really regret all the times that I hid from doing so!
  9. @mr_hopp Yes, you’re right. Yesterday was the day i hit a wall with this because I was out with some friends and one of them made a comment that they were worried they have herpes, but the “bad” one. I ended up disclosing to them for the first time and the whole experience set me off. I realize that this community in general doesn’t hold that stance, but it’s hard to deal with the fact that I don’t even feel solidarity with other people who have herpes as well, because of this tendency to separate one from the other. It’s unsettling how many misconceptions there are. Anyways, today I have a new fresh perspective and I think you’re right, it’s better to treat this moments as teachable moments.
  10. It’s just sad this community perpetuates that there’s a good herpes versus a bad one. This should be the place that destigmatizes this believe. At the end of the day, when I told my partner about transmission rates the bottom line needed to be that there’s a risk. When you have herpes, 1 or 2, there’s a risk. You could have hsv2 and never pass it on, you could have hsv1 and pass it on. ITS ALL THE SAME YA’ll. H opp has a lot of potential but that needs some work. It’s sad to see it coming through the community that should be chopping it down.
  11. Hey everyone, I’ve been coming onto the forum regularly to read posts and every once in a while I’ll engage if I see a space for it. I wanted to mention something that’s been bothering me. Too often I’ll read a post where someone in the community is relieved to find out they have hsv1 instead of hsv2. I think everyone should be aware of how they are contributing to the stigmatization of a huge portion of the h opportunity community. I realize that it may provide you with some temporary relief in your H journey but really, herpes is herpes is herpes. If it does give you a glimmer of hope, great, but it’s a punch in the gut for people who have hsv2. Not only that, but it’s a grossly misinformed perspective to have. There’s way too much in the variety of experiences to assume that one is so much better to have over the other, we’re still all in the same group forum looking for support and coping with the same life circumstances. Every sexual health professional I’ve spoken to says it’s all the same thing, and they don’t seem too worried about drawing a line between one or the other. I’ve been wanting to comment on this for a long time now but have kept it to myself up until now. It’s at the point where it’s put a bad taste in my mouth and I will bow out a bit from this group.
  12. @elysium17 I should add that I don’t do suppressive therapy and I never have. I just take meds to treat outbreaks. All I do is eat a good diet, go to the gym regularly and have a more positive outlook on my life now (compared to the early months of diagnosis). My mindset is completely different now, to me it’s just not a big deal.
  13. @elysium17 I really can understand the anger and the frustration. I was in the same place when I was first diagnosed. It’s true that it’s a bit tricky in the sense that different bodies have a different experience of it. Some people do have recurrent outbreaks often whereas others may have 1 or 2 a year (or even less). I’ve even heard of people who don’t have outbreaks for years and years and then all of a sudden years later they’ll have one. I know the uncertainty is not helpful, because we want to know what’s going on with our bodies! I think for the most part it is true that it gets better with time. The first year your body is adapting, and as the years go by it typically gets better and better. For myself, I have HSV2G, and for the first three months I had one every month like clockwork. I was stressed though, it was life changing for me and I was coming to terms with it. I have a very supportive partner though who doesn’t care about it at all. In the beginning I doubted him but I’m at the point now where I see that he really isn’t bothered and I believe him. I went quite a few times to the sex clinic just to talk to them and get some support. I have quite a few sex positive friends who were knowledgeable about this and coached me through the bad days. I’ve been taking good care of myself and honestly I rarely think about it or stress over it now, and I haven’t see an outbreak now in 3 months. It’s a short amount of time but before this I was having 1 a month. I do think it gets better because what you’re going through now is no indication of how it will be for you in 1 month, 3 months or a year from now. Take advantage of the support around you, take it day by day, I guarantee you’ll get passed these difficult times and it will get better, even if it doesn’t feel like that now.
  14. @reilly1000 yeah, I hear you. I find that I’m hypersensitive to jokes and ignorant comments about STDs now. But yeah, it’s a good idea to take it case by case, in my opinion. It’s ultimately completely your decision, if otherwise he has a lot of great traits and you’re interested in giving this a chance you could see what your next conversations are like. You may find down the road that he nervously blurted out a joke like that and later on kicked himself for it “why did I say that?” I mean, it’s very possible that he’s encountered an STD himself before! He may very well be open to new perspectives about it. Good luck!
  15. @reilly1000 I think joking about STDs/STIs is common because people don’t realize really how common STIs really are, and they are just in general misinformed about them. Last night at a birthday party a friend made a joke as well about STIs and it struck such a hurtful chord in me that I got quiet and couldn’t react in a productive way. In hindsight though I wish I had at least talked to her in private after and said, look, this is why we shouldn’t be stigmatizing STDs.... I think she’s a very open minded person in other ways and it could have been used as a teachable moment. I regret not going for it now. But all this is to say that It’s not a bad idea to give people the chance to learn and grow. So many people who are otherwise intelligent and open minded hold so many misconceptions about STDs (I used to be that person too). Maybe if you are interested in pursuing this with him, for now take the time to get to know him, you’ll get a sense hopefully of whether he is someone who has depth and would be open to exanding his understanding about STDs. My now boyfriend didn’t know that herpes and cold sores were the same thing, and he definitely didn’t know how common it was (or other STDs for that matter). As you get to know this guy, you’ll figure out if he will be open to learning or closed off.
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