Anonemess

Yeah I need support and lots of it. Gender doesn't mayter but someone in my similar situation would help me most. 40+mom of three. Went through a divorce and a complete renewal of myself physically. Bam first relationship out the door leaves me with HSV1 g. I'm beyond fucked up over this. That relationship has ended so it's hitting me smack in the face. Don't even know how to breathe most days, wish death on myself and am so lonely and scared. If you are strong- help me.

At the very least I probably win the award for longest time to accept and move in. I live in deep denial by avoidance. I'm rambling because I can't even get a formed thought out of my head. I am so ashamed, so gross, so alone and so aad

@sw85 One thing I have learned in my journey is that nothing is sexier than a genuine man without game than a man who deems himself a man-whore. The latter is a deal breaker.

My OBGYN is one who told me to just not have sexual during an OB, that I would not be shedding any longer. And she has hsv as well. She told me when I bumped into her at the grocery store. It was shortly after my diagnosis and just the sight of her made me cry.

Without meaning to high jack this post, I get so lost at the comment made that if he can't accept this that proves he won't be able to handle hard stuff. I think that is crap. I wouldn't accept hsv risk and I'm a good person who would be there if needed. I wouldn't be unfaithful, I would care for you if someone was stricken with cancer. What connection am i missing that others seem so easy to accept? This is incurable, this is passable. Why do minimize this? These disclosure rejections paralyze me with fear.

I can not say the word. I can't even google the word. I prefer hsv

Listening to my receptionist tell a weekend story where she ran into a guy she dated with another woman and proceeded to scream at him across the busy restaurant " have fun with her, the reason I wouldn't date you is because I heard you have herpes". Any wonder I want to curl up and die?

I wouldn't date me. Not with herpes. Something curable yes. Not this.

This would get my attention. Organize groups of 100 volunteers in cities all over the U.S. or world. Test them and read the results to them as a group. The visual of seeing a group of 100 people and 80 of them step forward as their name or number is called forward would be powerful.

This reinforces my brain, and depresses me terribly.

I can think of 10 things, but those things will apply to a millon other women who don't have herpes.

when there are so many other willing women who are likely not riddled with herpes? I can't even begin to imagine the throught process that leads someone to say OK I am willing to risk getting a incurable infection that will cause me shame and pain and I have to tell anyone in the future I want to trust and love. Is that information anywhere? Has anyone asked what they say to themselves? There is nothing special enough about me for me to ask anyone to take that risk. I am not special enough. Is anybody special enough?

I am dealing with a break up and h at the same time. Trying anti- depressants to get me over the hump, but I feel hopeless. I'm scared and incredibly lonely and I miss my ex and I miss the chance of love

I can not ever get past this? What if my heart is broken forever? What if I can't see the point of continuing? What if I feel like my value is over?

My OBGYN told me as well two weeks ago. no need to disclose, that I will not shed after having this for a year.

Both are incurable, both are transmittable and both require disclosure. Not a lucky thing to be found

I have lost two babies to miscarriage, lost jobs, lost friends and family but this burns in the pit of my stomach. It's been over a year since I was cursed with ghsv1. No outbreaks other than the first and it was minor. Recently ended the relationship with my giver who when I told him said " maybe this is a sign we are meant to be together forever". Instead I vomit in my office garbage pail and wonder how I go on.

@ashley. Thank you. It crosses my mind often if this was cancer. Some days I'd rather be put out of this misery. This complete sadness and hopelessness. I miss my friend terribly. Why have you not told him about h+ yet?

Here's the thing with me. I don't jump into relationships. Never have. I expect strong character and kind people but there is a naivety that people don't talk about you when you aren't listening. Yes, I do care why people think of me. I see an arrogance that I would think its ok to ask someone to accept this virus as their concern. Their whole intimate life will become condoms, planning around OB in addition to everything else life throws at you. Maybe I should be selfless enough to stop this virus with me. Yes, I am feeling poor me. It's not fair. Who the eff wants to get involved with a working mom of 3 with a disease I can give to them FOREVER just by loving them .

I cannot believe I am the only one who has come to the decision to end sex and love following their diagnosis. I don't think it does anyone any good to be so Pollyanna about it. Where are the horrific, embarrassing rejections. Who has people point and gossip when they walk by. Reality and truth.

I've had my children. I don't want anymore. This is suppose to be my time. I'm in the best physical shape of my life. My giver was a blessing to me when I told him what he gave me ( he didn't know). Thought he was what I had been waiting for my whole life. But he has some personal stuff going on and I see him as a different person. So, fooled again. I'm a stupid judge of character apparently. Tell me you love me and I believe it. I won't disclose. Therefore, my options are null.

It's not even in the same game. If I get cancer, people will send me flowers and bake my family casseroles. With herpes, they will choose to NOT TOUCH ME, NOT KISS ME, NOT LOVE ME. Nothing compares.

I have made contact. It's not in my budget. I spent many years following my divorce single so I could find myself. Found me, found happiness and bam. Right out of he gate. I've done everything I am supposed to. So why am I being punished? Why am I alone now? Why am I forced to be alone now because I will never share my nasty secret. Ever. Shall I take up knitting when I want to be in love and cant?

I've read everything on here as well as every forum I can find. It's been a year. It won't happen. There is nothing good about this. My life was happy, goon in the direction I worked so hard for. Now I'm vile and single. It's not worth it.

I seriously don't know how you do it. Every breath I have reminds me that my life is over as I know it. I do not see one good thing from this. I'm angry, I am really done with this.