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Everything posted by missanonymous

  1. I take valtrex and it makes me dizzy and gives me nausea.
  2. You're definitely not alone! I'm 25F was diagnosed with HSV2 in April and have been having self harming thoughts and struggling with it all. Probably similar thoughts to what you've been experiencing, So you are not alone with that. I have written on my mirror "Don't set yourself up for failure." Of course I feel like I have done that with contracting this virus and feel like a failed my future. But to add to that, I still see that whenever I have self harming thoughts. Because we live in the present and although the present isn't what we may want it to be doesn't mean the future won't be brighter. So I keep pushing it on, and learning that sex isn't the most important thing in life. I'm not Muslim but I came from a fairly strict Christian family and I understand how religion can add extra weight to the situation. What I've been doing is trying to discover myself. I think that's the key to it, is to learn to find happiness with in yourself. I haven't dated or disclosed to anyone yet. I think taking things slow and getting to know someone is very important before disclosing, making sure they are the right fit for you. You shouldn't feel like you have to settle (that's what I tell myself, and seen other say the same thing on here). I've met one guy that I kind of like and want to continue to get to know him and if he's interested in me I plan on disclosing before we start dating. I hope things get better for you!
  3. @Jules1967 Do you find it hard to get back out there and date? I'm recently diagnosed 25F and I don't even want to bother thinking about dating anymore. (Which sucks cause I've always dreamed of being a wife and mother one day) How many times have you had to disclose? What do you say in your text? You're very courageous!.
  4. I feel the same way, I haven't met anyone yet and too scared to try. I've read a bunch of disclosure stories on here and they are really inspiring! I think you should check those out. If you do disclose please let us know how it goes! We're here for you and cheering you on.
  5. @Scottybons67 I think you should wait till you get to know the girl first before disclosing, but it's great that you want to! I recently got HSV 2 from a older guy I was dating (15+) I too am fairly religious so it really sucked that he "unknowingly" (as he claims) gave it too me. It's amazing that you are on here and care enough to ask for advice. It's also very uplifting to see that guys actually care and want to disclose. It's important to give someone the choice to accept the risks. I hope everything works out for you, you seem like a super awesome guy!
  6. That's so inspiring. I'm dealing with my second outbreak right now. It sucks soooo much! I think I was doing pretty well until my second outbreak. I'm afraid that it'll be super frequent too. I already lost like 8lbs after my first OB because I was afraid to eat anything. I haven't gained much of the weight back yet either. I'm eating more than I did after the first one but I'm afraid of loosing more weight. Emotionally I feel like I'm getting stronger but the physical part is starting to take a toll. I was diagnosed in April. How soon after your diagnosis did you start dating again?
  7. This is my second thread trying to get some encouragement, advice or something. Quick back story: I'm a fairly devote Christian, although I haven't always been that way. I'm not saying I'm a Mother Theresa or anything. I had been celibate for a few years and the guy I had been dating was ok with that. He was the man of my dreams. I moved to be closer to him then one day out of the blue he dumped me. Of course heart broken I eventually get into another relationship. I figured I had been waiting so long to have sex that I was just going to do it. After a few months the guy that I was with told me he was still legally married to his "ex"wife. I was devastated because that's like adultery, even though having sex before marriage is technically adultery too but IDK that was on another level for me. Eventually I try to look past it, because they had been separated for so many years and she even had a boyfriend. It was just the papers didn't get signed so that he could keep his money. After a while we decided to have sex again, few days later get my first out break. It hurt like crap! Emotionally and physically. So I feel like God is punishing me or something, because I technically slept with a married man. I mean how much of a coincidence can that be?! So I feel like I let myself and my religion down. I also feel like I ruined my future with ever getting married or having children. I've been researching about women that have HSV2 and having children. I've seen videos of C-section, looked at the scars and etc. Read about mortality rate for children born with HSV. Then on top of that who will want to marry me? I couldn't imagine the guilt I'd feel spreading this to anyone I cared about. I've also broken up with the guy that gave it too me. He just made me feel bad about the whole situation because I believe he feels like since he's apologized once and "didn't know he had it" (which I think that was a lie) I just couldn't be with him anymore. If anyone could PLEASE HELP ME. Just with the following questions. I would be very appreciative. 1. How do you cope with knowing you could pass this on to someone you love/care about? 2. What's it like emotionally having children? 3. As a Christian how do you move forward with this permanent mark of a past sin?
  8. Wow that made me cry! I never thought that would be another hurdle to go through.
  9. @cryingontheinside thanks for tagging me! I needed this!
  10. @cryingontheinside Yeah it does get better. I was reading on the success thread about people that have normal and happy lives and it definitely helps to know. It's good to be able to talk to someone else that is going through the same thing. I think this is a turning point in life that gives you a chance to realize how much power you have over your own happiness.
  11. @cryingontheinside Honestly, I'm not coping to well, but I'm trying. I just joined this forum a few minutes ago and it's been helping. I was balling my eyes out last night to my mom about "what if it spreads, what if I pass it to my future kids/husband, what if I can't kiss my children..." I was supposed to meet up with a friend to go out and was about to cancel. I just forced myself to go out (wore plenty of make-up to hide the swollen eyes)...That definitely helped with my confidence. But I've just been concentrating on my work, playing mind games (solitary, word search, sudoku) anything to take my mind off of it. But it's been hard, I recommend reading some of the other women who have posted, especially the ones that have had it for a while and say how they met guys and etc. Also, I read guys forums to because they're are plenty that feel the same way we do and for some reason it makes me feel better. Also I've been doing thing's that I normally wouldn't ever do. Like I went riding a sea due and went as fast I could and it felt good to be alive, and reminded me that I can do anything I want. The virus doesn't stop you from having fun, the only think that stops you is you.
  12. Hi @cryingontheinside I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm a 25yr Female and I just found out a like 2 months ago that I got it. I'm feeling the same way you do. I can't watch movies or shows with couples in it that are in love without crying. I've only told my mom and one of my cousins. It sucks. I have the suicidal thoughts too and I know I won't go through with it but it sucks to even consider something like that. I know who gave it to me too and I feel like he knew even though he says he didn't. Men suck! I miss who I used to be and I feel like I'll never get out of this funk. I'm also fairly religious so it makes me feel even worse because I had been celibate for years and then this happens. I feel like God is punishing me. I've also researched getting the infected area cut out to not become contagious...turns out you can't. 😞 So you're not alone, and it does suck. It's also nearly impossible to track where it comes from because unless you do a viral culture test you can still get false positives & false negatives because of how difficult the virus is to track. Most people don't even know they have it, I think like 80% don't know. Take the time to find yourself and love yourself. I know it's easier said then done and I'm trying to do the same. I force my self to go out and not isolate myself. But there are so many people out there that have it so you really aren't alone, plus you can take medicine to reduce chances of spreading it by 50%
  13. I'm looking for some support/advise/insight, really just anything. I got diagnosed with HSV2 a few months ago and this is very difficult for me to deal with. So I started dating this guy, I'm 24 he's 40 with 6 kids. I'm 99% sure it came from him because I never had an outbreak or any symptoms. And 2 days before we had unprotected sex, he told me he had a "small cut" then I get my first outbreak. We both get tested and turns out we both have HSV. He told me he was clean before we had sex. Sex is a really big deal to me because I had been celibate for about 3 years because something that had happened to me, and I'm also pretty religious. When I tried to tell him a little bit about my past he called me stupid and made me feel really crappy. I got depressed after that (I really regret not leaving then). About a month later he tells me he's still legally married to his "ex-wife/ mother of all the kids". That kind of broke my heart cause I was already going back and forth about having sex before marriage and then to find out he's still married and waited so long to tell me. So I felt like crap again...We talked it out and tired to make it work. But obviously I was depressed and he knew it was him and he said he felt bad for me becoming this way. A few months later I get my first outbreak and my world is rocked. I called him before I went to the doctors because I told him I think I had a cut and was in pain. He didn't take it as anything serious and reminded me that he had been tested and was clean. After the doctors I call and tell him I had HSV and told him he seemed to have felt very bad about it and blamed him self. He kept saying how he ruined my life. Here are the red flags, he told me he's gone through this before because he thought he had it but doctors told him he didn't. He never had a viral cultural test just blood test. Which can come back as false negatives. He also later tells me he gets cold sores in his mouth. I believe he knew the whole time and he says he didn't know. Now we're broken up and still talk from time to time. But I'm so freaking messed up. I'm scared it'll spread, cause it already did. I lost like 8lbs, I try not to eat much because I'm afraid to use the bathroom. I really want to have children one day but I am terrified that I could pass it on to them. (I know I could get C section but I'm still uneasy). I'm scared to think one day if I find someone they won't want me because of the HSV or I'll pass it on to them. So I just want advise and know how other women were able to get married and have kids. I'm just looking for hope.
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