*disclaimer* I apologize if my attitude is the most pessimistic thing ever, but this is how I'm really feeling and I'm writing this post looking for emotional support or some sort of light at the end of the tunnel, because I'm running out of hope.
I was recently diagnosed with HSV2 two months ago (Or HSV1 in the genitals; who cares, it's still ever longing and painful) and there never really is an end to this is it...? I know you carry this virus for life and the only thing you ever have to look forward to is that "it will be less recurrent and painful over time." However, is that really true for everyone? Everyone's body is different. True, I have read on this forum that people usually have less outbreaks after the first few months/years. I have also read about people having HSV1or2 and having non stop outbreaks for months/years on end, or they have another recurrent outbreak attach after a decade of having contracted the virus. Which makes me wonder, is the whole antiviral developing after 4 months thing even true? Does your body ever truly keep the virus under control?
For the past two months, I have been getting non stop outbreaks or prodome symptoms ever since i was contracted with the virus. I've been taking suppressive therapy with valacyclovir 500mg twice a day and i just recently upped my dose to 2000mg a day because another flare up came through. I recently started taking 3000mg of L-Lysine and 500mg B-Complex because i began to clearly see the demise of my sex life. I have a partner who knows of my situation and i am extremely grateful for her understand (she is god sent for sure), but i can sometimes feel and see in her face that she is scared of taking the risk of contracting the virus. I often have the feeling of breaking up so she doesn't have to deal with my emotional and physical problems.
Do you ever start to feel better? like, are you always going to be feeling these prodome symptoms or random itching even when you're not having an outbreak? If that's the case, then we need to protest these drug companies, doctors and everyone who have been lying to us at these clinics, forums, drug prescription reviews (i saw a product review for l-lysine recently and i swear those are the drug companies writing those positive reviews, sorry to burst the bubble) that this virus is calm/livable and really demand for a cure. They are making LIVE WITH THIS S***. A lot of them are sweeping this virus under the rug and it's destroying all of our lives. I don't know if i will ever look, feel and love the same.
I am sorry for this angry post, but this is just how i feel. I am not in the business of making people's day's worse, but i don't know who else to talk to... Please guys... is there an end to all of this suffering? because i don't know if i want to continue with this anymore....