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  1. Hey guys ! I am new here , but am so glad this exists. I have been struggling for a long time and my mental health is not good to begin with. Sooo.. since college I have had chronic vaginal problems. I had a fissure on my perineum that didn't heal for atleast 2 years , there every day , very irritating . I tried everything. I think I had it swabbed and came back negative for herpes, it finally healed but new problems arise.. Fast forward a couple years , I started having a lot of itching and irritation , when my inner labia are touched I get a burn sensation after . One morning i noticed my vulva were very itchy and covered in red bumps , these might have taken about a week to go away but can't fully remember. Irritation continues daily.. finally one day I feel like I'm getting a really bad bladder infection and I notice a tiny raw spot probably only 1 mm on my clitoris , I went to doc and he tested for bladder , nothing . Went home and broke out in a bunch of bumps .. went to doc , swabbed and came back negative again. The next day though they turned into blisters , then I knew I probably had herpes. So I self diagnosed. Every day now for 5 years I have had the same prodrome feelings i got before that outbreak . With the occasional actual visible outbreaks which are always different . Sometimes that one tiny raw spot shows up on my clit and seems to heal within like a day.. but that spot is always itchy every day of my life. Sometimes a red bump appears in a spot on my labia and opens to a tiny welt (only like 1 mm) , and now I have noticed the inner lower part of my vaginal hole becomes raw and open skin when I feel like I am having a severe outbreak . But lately that area is like always raw .. every day . I'm so confused !!! Why is my body so bad at controlling this , I have antivirals and they seem to kinda work but not totally .. so lost . So depressed . So anxious . Been tested for absolutely everything! STDs , BV, yeast .. changed diet .. no irritants whatsoever even stopped using toilet paper and wearing underwear . Help!!
  2. Hey! I totally get where you are coming from , I think I have hsv 2 and have constant daily prodrome symptoms which makes me self loathe and feel dirty . I know the feeling you describe of feeling sortof poisoned. The things that help me are remembering the loving husband I have , and everything I am fortunate for . Also remembering that people are going through so much worse in the world. As terrible as it is sometimes I will even watch depressing videos about people that have it way worse to remember how good I have it. I know that doesn't really help sometimes , but once in a while it does . Also , as awful as this sounds , you are luckier to have hsv1 instead of hsv2 genitally , as it is much milder on average . It is actually very strange that your husband tested negative for hsv1 since like 80 to 90 percent of people have it . Over time , I think your body will get a good hold on this and you will have even fewer symptoms . A lot of what I have read from doctors quite knowledgeable in herpes, is that disclosing g hsv1 to a new partner if they have ever had a cold sore isn't even that nessesary because the chance of reinfecting them genitally is so low . (I know you are married so this doesn't matter but just saying) . You cannot infect your daughter or anyone else in those ways so stop worrying about that ! Remember the type that you have is the type that 80 percent of people have and you have nothing to be ashamed of , we are all human and anyone can get herpes . You could have oral one time and still be a virgin and get hsv1. I recommend doing some cognitive behaviour therapy online to help you think more positively . Sending love , hope this helps !
  3. You could also ask for a western blot and she will help you to get one
  4. Sounds like you have both , probably have 1 on your mouth but maybe have never had symptoms ? You can go to Westover Heights .com and pay to ask Terri Warren about this , she will clarify for you
  5. Also, your symptoms sound nothing like herpes .. if you haven't had a blood test or confirmed swab you might be fretting about something that isn't even herpes . There are so many skin conditions or other things that this could be . Don't give up , a lot of doctors don't know what they are talking about .. I have been told 3 or 4 times I didn't have herpes by doc's but after one appt I went home and broke out in blisters down below so I am pretty positive I do have it . Herpes doesn't just stay as skin coloured itchy bumps on your face. Sooo many other things can be itchy .
  6. I know you said no empty platitudes but I'm going to anyways , because I can't just read this and not say anything . Your body is doing something without your permission , and you are letting that define you . I also have rampant herpes , every day symptoms that seem resistant to anti virals and I think I have also transferred to my eye . My husband gets out breaks on his nose ,eye,lip, and butt cheeks. I am going through terrible depression about this too and never want to have sex either , so I know where you are coming from on that subject . I'm assuming you have had a blood test? Or been to a dermatologist? I would recommend going to Westover Heights.com and paying to Skype with Terri Warren , who can perhaps help you to get a western blot test . I'm sorry you are so low , this sounds awful and unbearable . I truly hope you find relief
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