justbri.

Wow! I have not been in that situation fortunately. Sounds like dude has some serious insecurities. 😬

Sounds like self-sabatoge! You seem like you know you’re worth and have tangible proof (you’re last two relationships) that H doesn’t define you...but now doubting yourself because you met a man who is just as much with it as you??? Makes no sense to me. GO FOR IT! If he rejects you then you will know it was meant to be. You may be pleasantly surprised, but you won’t be if you let fear and self-doubt rule.

@tay1989That’s not entirely true. I got GHSV1 from my ex who hadn’t had an oral cold sore since childhood. We both kissed a lot but the virus took to my genital area instead, 🤷🏾‍♀️. Overall, my experience with GHSV1, although only 10 months in, has not been horrible. My physical health is intact and my emotional health has been restored since accepting the d(x) and moving on. Literally everyone has likely come in contact with HSV1 or the majority of people have it in there bodies already whether they are aware or not. It’s not as big a deal as society has made it to be. Life will go on and still be beautiful. Be honest and open with your partners and satisfying sex is sure to follow.

It gave me stomach cramps, indigestion, nausea, and fatigue. I was diagnosed with GHSV1 and only had one outbreak. Stopped the pills after three days and felt loads better. No OBs since the first, but of course GHSV2 is sometimes more severe than type 1. I would say give it a try and he can always stop according to how he feels/experiences OBs.

There are many other genital problems that can cause persistent pain not related to herpes. Have you been tested for other gynecological problems like vulvodynia or endometriosis. It could also be neuropathic (nerve damage).

I felt the same. I had spent the entire year devoting my energy to building my peace; working out, eating right, drinking water, and minding my business lol. I mean I was glowing everyday, hair was growing, and I was dating and just enjoying life. When I finally met some I liked I took my time with him was very open about talking about safe sex and testing, then a few months in I got diagnosed. That was the hardest hit I had gotten in a while. But getting back to that routine helped me get back into that mindset, and life feels normal again. Just now I’m taking a hiatus from dating, not really bc of the H but bc these dudes out here be tripping and I ain’t got the time!

It’s tough coming to grips with this. But let these thoughts be fleeting. In time it will become just another nuisance. There is still beauty and love in life even though it’s dark right now. I have always been passionate about taking care of my own mental health, but when I got this diagnosis I had a thought that death would be better than to live with this. All in all it’s a just a skin condition. Reach out if you need!

@Scoobilu You should start one up and see if it takes off; although, I do believe this one is largely women. Feel free to inbox me sometimes if you would like to chat as well!

This could be useful!

I can’t even image the mental anguish you are feeling. If you can’t get doctors to test, it may be worth it to spend some extra cash on a home herpes test. Swab her the moment you notice the sores and send it in to a lab. You can get the results online. I hope everything turns out well.

I am a new member of this forum, but I have been reading posts for quite a while. @SeraLyn and @PhoenixRising_009 posts really helped me alot during dark moments! I was diagnosed with GHSV1 in December 2018. My Giver was my ex-boyfriend. He was 13 years my senior (I'm 25) and when I told him, his response was, "yeah, I used to get cold sores when I was younger, but I've never had a woman tell me they got anything from me." He then avoided accepting any responsibility stating, you could have got this from anybody, you can't say it was me. Even though he told me that he still loved and wanted to be intimate with me, my trust in him had been broken. He never empathized with me and distanced himself from me initially, stating that, he was hurt, because I blamed him for transmitting the virus to me. It was the beginning of the end of our relationship, but I stayed sexually involved with him until June of 2019. In the beginning I felt completely lost. I couldn't connect with who I was at all, and even had some fleeting thoughts that death would be better than having to ever tell anyone about this. I ultimately reached out to a friend who I knew had GHSV2, and she was a huge support. I told a guy I had previously dated and had remained friends with. He was coming on to me, as he usually does, and I just blurted out, "have you ever had a cold sore...well I have, on my genital area." He asked questions, hugged me, but I felt his energy change. I guess subconsciously I wanted to test if a man could still find me attractive despite this. In that moment I felt no one would accept me except someone who had it, hence the reason for continuing a sexual relationship with my Giver. Though I look back and realize how unhealthy of a choice it was mentally and emotionally to remain with him, I do recognize that his desire for me helped me to remember how sexy and desirable I still am. Regaining that confidence helped to clear my haze I was to remember everything I truly have to offer. I am an attractive, educated, and independent black woman. I love myself wholeheartedly and I am worthy of love. This diagnosis has served as an unfortunate wake up call to choose and invest in only those who will treat me accordingly. With all that said, I still have moments of sadness that come over me in overwhelming waves. It truly is a day by day process. As I am beginning to desire dating and sex more, the reality that I will have to disclose becomes more real, and it just makes me cry sometimes. Like the big ugly cry, like the "WHY ME!" cry. But then I say, "oh well, fuck it," and I wipe those little self-pity tears away. When it gets tough, and I say to myself, "Yes, Bri, you have GHSV1, but that is not who you are." You only live once and my life is far from done. There is so much more love and life for me out there, and I just have to break through this fear that I am honestly probably just making worse in my own head. Any words of kindness and support are welcomed! I also love reading stories about how other's cope with their diagnosis and disclose while dating! Sending positive vibes!

I'm trying to find the answer to this question too. I actually started dating about 5 months after being diagnosed. I started dating this guy that I was very physically and intellectually attracted to. We clicked on so many levels and he always expressed a desire to "make me happy" as well as to be physical. I avoided sex for three months simply because I did not know how to tell him. Dating for me has been cake until the question of disclosure comes up. I talk myself out of it because I want to at least know the relationship has the potential to be serious and that the person will be decent and respectful.