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Carly2020

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Carly2020 last won the day on June 23

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  1. Hi 🙂 Yes, I have been absolutely terrified to date, to disclose, and truthfully, to start accepting myself. You are not alone, but good things will come. Two years after being diagnosed I went out on date with a colleague. After a few dates, I got to the point where I felt comfortable enough to disclose and his response was really kind and caring, but still I struggle with self-acceptance. Mr. Hopp's comment on my post here really helped. His video on self acceptance: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-and-self-acceptance and others alike have been important for me to return to when I am feeling low. It certainly feels like a marathon, not a sprint, but I can see the power of creating space to be upset, but then also altering my mindset to become more positive. You are right, dating is hard in general, but herpes doesn't define you ❤️ You are awesome.
  2. Hi there community, Sending love to everyone. I am hoping someone can help me write positive affirmations to counter the following negative truths I have been holding onto. 1. Having genital herpes makes me undesirable 2. I am disgusting 3. Surely, he won't like me I have done the following for the below truths I hold, but I am struggling with the ones above. 1. I brought this on myself | Positive Counter: It was simply bad luck 2. I deserve to be lonely and sad | Positive Counter: I am human. I've made some mistakes in my life, like everyone. I should not punish myself for it. I deserve to live a good life.
  3. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your comment and I will watch the video. My self-love has come a long way since the first year, but I still have a ways to go. Your comment about him not having the same perspective of herpes as I do is very insightful - I hadn't thought of it that way. Also, that is interesting and promising about you and your wife. That is great. I know I need to trust him and know that this is his decision. We haven't talked about it again aside from while disclosing. I really appreciate your time and response. All that you do on here has a big impact - thank you.
  4. Hi community, I know it is important to practice self-love, but I've found I am going through a whole new set of emotions after disclosing. He handled it very well and was extremely kind and understanding. We've had sex using condoms and I am taking daily pills, but I can't help but feel upset and an impending end coming. I don't want to give someone something that has caused me such emotional pain. Where does the relationship go? I feel a whole new set of lost.
  5. Thanks so much for your replies. I really appreciate your advice. I've just downloaded "the talk" handbook, so I will read up on pointers before getting myself in that position again. Scary, but necessary. Thank you!
  6. Thanks so much for the responses! I am still not too sure if they are linked, as I hear mixed reviews, but I suppose their linkage is not that relevant. I am dealing with both about monthly and I'll just need to sort out how to live like that. For the record, I find BV much, much more of a nuisance than herpes, but the stigma doesn't suggest that. Funny how the world works. Thanks again!
  7. Hi there, Just a PSA: I have completed laser hair removal for 6 months with no out breaks! I also went waxing before that with no problem. I was hesitant at first to try it, but all is good!
  8. Hi there, I've had ongoing cases of Bacterial Vaginosis (almost once a month!) since being diagnosed 2 years ago. Is anyone else experiencing this? Doctors have said they are completely unrelated, but I am not sure I believe that. I haven't been sexually active in a year and am still getting them.
  9. Hi everyone, I was diagnosed two years ago and still haven't had the courage to disclose it to anyone. I've been avoiding intamacy all together. However, just recently I shared a bed with someone I was interested in. There was kissing, cuddling, and short points wear my inner thigh would have been touching his skin. We didn't touch each other, but we did touch ourselves independently. I am petrified of giving it to someone else. I'm not sure if this was morally wrong not to disclose in this instance.
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