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akirn

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akirn last won the day on May 30

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  1. I would say her transmitting it to herself that way is highly unlikely. Herpes viruses thrive in mucus membranes (I.e. our lips and genitals), so the possibility of it surviving for very long on your hands (no mucus membranes) to then be passed to the genitals is low. Sure, it happens, which is how people end up with ocular herpes, but that's pretty rare. Plus, if you're on suppressive therapy and have no visible outbreak, I would say that significantly lessens the possibility. Take a deep breath! I'm sure it's fine.
  2. Hi there! I know the feelings you're going through right now, but try your best to remain as calm as you can - it's going to be alright! I'm not a medical expert, but I have a few friends who have been in long term relationships with HSV-2 positive partners, and have never contracted it. If your partner was taking antivirals and you have used protection, your chances of contracting it are actually very low (about 2-4% per YEAR, which is roughly the same as getting pregnant on birth control). Everyone's bodies are different - some of us, like myself, were unlucky enough to get it in a chance encounter, while others have life-long relationships and never get it. All you can do is take it one step at a time, and take a test. Also, keep in mind that a blood test needs about 4-6 weeks to register a true positive, as your body needs time to build up antibodies. I hate to keep you waiting longer, but if you're worried about that particular recent encounter and want to be sure, I would definitely re-test in a month or two. My other advice would be to try to separate your anger with your partner from your fear of this as much as you can! That's a lot of emotion for one person to take on at once. You have every right to feel lied to and betrayed, and the feeling of being afraid is totally normal. Try to tackle the things you're in control of one at a time - have a conversation with your partner, schedule a test, and try to take some time for self care. And please, take it from me who has HSV - even if your test results come back positive, your life is not over! It's a very manageable and overly-stigmatized condition, and my guess is that if you already have gotten it within the past 2 years and have not seen any symptoms, you'll probably continue to be asymptomatic. I hope this helps! Sending hugs!
  3. Hi there! Herpes tests can be confusing, and I'm having some confusion myself, so I understand the frustration! So I believe the general rule is that swabs are usually viewed as more reliable than blood tests. Blood tests will also show up negative if you take them too recently after your initial infection, as your body has not had time to create antibodies yet. They say you should wait about 6-12 weeks after your initial breakout or swab before getting a blood test. So, if your razor burn was actually a breakout and you did a swab test, I would look at how long after that you took your first blood test, as it may have been a false negative. If it makes you feel better, the initial diagnosis can be quite shocking and jarring, but SO MANY people would have HSV-2 show up in their blood tests if they actually had them done - it's very common! I have HSV-2, as well, and I've never had a typical breakout, only something that looks like one small paper cut or shaving cut. If I hadn't gotten tested, I would have no idea! Best of luck, I hope you get it all figured out! It might be worth getting another blood test done in a few months just to see if it comes up again! xx
  4. I was relieved to hear I wasn't the only one, as well! I remember thinking it was strange, but I played it off as being hyper-aware of outbreaks, as it was happening fairly close after I was diagnosed. I haven't had it happen there in a long time, however, now I'm dealing with a fissure at the front above the clitoral hood that keeps popping up. It looks like a paper cut and doesn't seem to respond to valtrex or have any other HSV symptoms along with it, so I've been looking at what it could be. I am by no means a medical professional, but my google investigations brought me to a reddit thread with a woman with a fissure almost exactly the same as mine, and she had something called Lichen Schlerosis. I found a few other infections with similar symptoms, but they all seem to be treated with topical creams (which is good, I suppose!). I haven't been able to get into my gyno because of COVID-19, but next time it pops up I'll go in and see what she thinks and let you know! I have a theory that HSV has a tendency to mess with our PH as women sometimes, so I think maybe these things a more related to that, but I could be totally wrong! For me, it just seems like I have more frequent yeast infections and little symptom like this - I'm not sure if I'm the only one that feels that way!
  5. Hi everyone! I've had some similar questions myself. I was swabbed positive for GHSV-1 initially two years ago, then I had a negative blood test for both. I figured it was just because it was a recent infection. I went back in this past February and had another blood test, and it came back in the equivocal range for HSV-1 (I think it was like 0.9) and 5.0 for HSV-2. I'm super confused if this means my initial swab was incorrect, or if my most recent blood test is reading a false positive for HSV-2. Or, maybe I just have the worst luck ever and was dually infected! Who knows. But very confusing! I'm considering a western blot myself just to finally get an answer.
  6. Hi! Strangely enough, I've actually had this, as well! I also didn't notice it until after my diagnosis and have been curious about similar things. I haven't had many problems with it recently, but after my diagnosis I constantly thought I was having outbreaks, but it was just those weird small tears. I'm curious to hear if your emollients help!
  7. Hi there! Please know that I have gone through all of these same feelings, and that you're not alone. I can also tell you that as time goes on, you will slowly but surely start to feel like yourself again! And you cannot blame yourself for this - it takes two to tango! Also, try not to let the stereotypes of promiscuity and STDs get into your head too much. This diagnosis isn't a punishment for having multiple partners, it can happen to anyone! One of my friends got it from her first high school boyfriend as a teenager. She's now happily with her current boyfriend of many years, and has had a very typical dating life! Once a bit of the emotion from your recent diagnosis settles down, I think you'll be able to see the world in a clearer light. But your feelings are totally normal, and know that I had them, too. Something that helped me was the cliche "focusing on yourself" - but seriously! I really focused on taking care of my health and fitness, spending time with my friends, and getting in touch with things in life that bring me joy. Then, one day, you're going to wake up and feel great about yourself and know your worth, and the diagnosis will seem like such a tiny part of your life. As for the conversation with your potential giver - I know this may sound hard, but really try not to dwell on it too much. The frustrating reality is that you may never 100% know! If you have a good idea that it was him, it's worth a conversation, but don't go into it expecting it will magically make things better. When I told the guy who gave it to me, I thought the conversation would take away some of the feelings of anger I had. I'm glad I spoke to him about it, but it didn't really give me any closure. The reality is that your life has been set on a slightly different path, and it's up to you now how to take the steps to heal. If he's supportive and receptive to the news, great! If he's not, don't let that change anything for you. Keep your chin up, and keep moving forward one day at a time. And know that you 100% will find happy normal relationships again! An HSV diagnosis is just a stupid stigmatized skin rash at the end of the day. Unfortunately man men have far worse issues 🙄. That being said, you'll find yourself pleasantly surprised at how kind people can be! I remember crying on the examination table at the doctor's and literally saying "my life is over" when I was diagnosed. Please take it from me - I was SO wrong. Sending you hugs! xo
  8. I think this is an issue that many of us in our college years and twenties have, myself included! I would agree with lots of points that others have already made. I was diagnosed when I was 23 and I live in NYC, so I was DEVASTATED because I thought my fun casual dating life in the big city was over. The first thing I came to realize, as someone else touched on, is that once I took a break from casual sex, I found I didn't actually miss it very much. But that's totally different for everyone! College is definitely a time to learn more about yourself sexually if you choose to do so, but with that being said, I would try not to pressure yourself that you need casual sex to feel "normal". Even before HSV, I definitely had a few sexual encounters in college that I could have done without - it seems like the thing to do when you're in the bubble of your college campus, but I can promise you that you won't think too much about those hookups as your life moves on. However, I totally understand the want to be able to go out to a bar or go on dates and hookup with someone, but having "the talk" in the back of your mind every time. I still feel that way sometimes! I really think a lot of it comes down to assessing the individuals you want to hook up with. Chat with them and get a feel for their personality. Try to ask yourself if this is someone you think will respect your privacy when you disclose (HINT: if you think the answer is no, then they don't deserve to have you in bed in the first place!!). To be perfectly honest, I think college-aged men can still be quite immature, so I say all this out of love! Having HSV in no way means your casual college sex is over, but I do think it changes it in the sense of screening your partners a bit more, which will honestly save you heartache in the long run! I cried over so many stupid hookups in college that were not at all worth my time and energy. Also, something I like to say when disclosing to someone I don't know well is along the lines of "I'm sharing this with you out of respect for you and your health, so I would ask you to keep this conversation between us". The last thing I'll add, is that you can still go out and flirt and have fun with your friends and be a college kid and get all that nice male attention without the stress of hooking up! One thing I found out about myself from all of this, is that the thing I actually enjoy most is simply the act of being out all dressed up with my friends and meeting people. I found I cherish the company of my friends and the men I meet even more now that the agenda of going out specifically to find someone to hook up with is less of a priority. I think you'll find that when you put less pressure on yourself, the right guys will find you - casually or more seriously 🙂 I don't know if all of my babbling answers anything, but I hope it helps!
  9. @mrh1227 don't be too hard on yourself! I think more people on here have put themselves into similar situations than some will admit - myself included! Not that it's right, but I think many of us have made mistakes out of fear of rejection; you're only human! I remember once I told someone RIGHT before we did the deed after a night of drinking, and I felt horrible after because I knew I didn't give him a fair opportunity to really assess the situation. I could tell it bothered him, but we eventually had further conversations about it after he had taken his own time to do more research, and ended up being fine. You have to tell yourself that you still did the right thing and were honest with him! Many people would not have the courage to go back and do so - I would say that's even harder than disclosing in the first place! Give him some time and maybe try to reconnect once he's had some space 🙂 Sending you hugs!
  10. This is very sweet and kind! I feel very similarly to you - I was diagnosed about two years ago and it completely shook my world. I have always been a very outgoing person and I genuinely enjoy dating and going out and talking to guys. I'm not perfect, and haven't always made the smartest decisions regarding my sexual health, but ironically I contracted this from someone I'd seen on and off for 7 years. It really destroyed me at first - I was in my early twenties, and I would look at my friends who were casually dating and think "why did this happen to me? we're all out here dating around." But looking back, for me personally, I was sinking so much of my self worth into male attention, and I think that was why this diagnosis brought upon such a huge amount of depression for me. Everyone says it to you at first and it seems so oversimplified, but herpes really does help you find meaningful relationships. Before my diagnosis, I was so desperately looking for love in all the wrong places, and going about it in all the wrong ways. It's been a few years now, and it really took this diagnosis to snap me out of my old ways, and on an emotional level, I am so much happier! Sure, there is the stress of disclosing, but I think in life, everything truly happens for a reason. It took me many emotional months to start seeing that, but I hope you all can find out what your reason is, as well. Also, I should note - you WILL find people who don't care about this. Sure, you'll find people who do reject it, and it stings, but I strongly believe it's just from a lack of education. The first guy I told (on the first date...bold move from me!) said that he could tell I disclosed because I cared about him. We continued seeing each other and it was a complete non-issue. Sending positivity to everyone! xo
  11. Is anyone able to provide any insight?? Thank so much!
  12. I had a very similar experience to this! So I was swabbed positive for GHSV-1 about two years ago from a lesion I thought was strange. My first blood test was taken soon after, and came back negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2 (we figured it was just because it was a new infection). Last year, I had routine blood work done again, and it once again came up in the "equivocal" range for HSV-1, and my HSV-2 came up with a positive IgG of 5. I'm very confused by this, as with a swab coming back positive for HSV-1, I figured my IgG should reflect that? I'm wondering what the probability for a false positive is on my HSV-2 result. So confusing!!
  13. Hi @Riseandfall , just curious - what did the clinic say? Did you figure anything out regarding this? My cut actually JUST came back today and I'm frustrated as usual. It seemed to appear out of absolutely nowhere! How has yours been?
  14. Hello everyone, Hope you're all staying safe and healthy through this craziness! I have a question for the ladies on here; I have a very long cut centered right between my labia at the very front. It's very odd, and will just pop up randomly and bleed a bit. The last time it appeared it took over a month to clear up. I'm unfortunately lucky enough to be diagnosed with both HSV-1 and 2 already, but it's such an odd symptom, and I'm wondering if it's even related...has anyone else had this? It doesn't seem to respond to Valtrex - normally my breakouts clear up within a few days. Is it yeast related? My main reason for asking is that I would like to be aware if it's a flare-up to protect future partners. Thanks!
  15. Hi everyone! Forgive me if this is a bit long, but I'm hoping to get a little input on my situation, and see if anyone has any similar experiences! I was diagnosed with GHSV-1 in 2018. At the time, it was pretty instant and self-explanatory - I broke out three days after being intimate with a new partner, went in right away, and was swabbed positive for GHSV-1. I took a blood test around that time, too, which showed up negative for HSV-2 and had a very low positive for HSV-1, indicating a new infection. I was upset at the time, but over the course of the past two years, have come to a place of relative peace with the situation. I even started dating again last year, which brings me to my current situation. I quit talking to my most recent partner in November. Then, in January, I was shaving my bikini area. I thought I nicked myself with my razor, as there appeared to be a cut in between my labia at the top of my vaginal area. I didn't think much of it, but it didn't seem to go away for weeks. Then, a few weeks ago, I randomly break out into the worst outbreak I've ever had. I've had maybe one tiny OB in the two years since my diagnosis, but other than that have been symptom-free. I went in to my gyno and explained my situation, and she ran a full STD panel, including bloodwork. To my surprise, the bloodwork came back with a 1.2 Igg for HSV-1, and a 5.0 Igg for HSV-2. The Igm's were both negative. I'm a little confused. I've only been with two partners since my diagnosis - do I just have the worst luck ever?! Has anyone else been test positive for both GHSV-1 and GHSV-2? My Igg results for the HSV-1 were essentially the same from when I was first tested in 2018, and remain on the edge of registering as inconclusive - is it possible the initial swab was incorrect and I've had HSV-2 all along? Is it possible to have a false positive for HSV-2 if I already have HSV-1? Also, would having both make me more contagious? I'm feeling a little disheartened, as I was just moving on with life after the first diagnosis. I'm worried my life is going to be one constant outbreak now. Any input is appreciated! Thanks!
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