Itcanhappentoyou885

Okay, can I just point out a couple things that caught my attention right away? I noticed that you described both your mom and sister has both having high profile jobs, THEN saying they were loved and respected. Would it matter if they worked at Wal-mart? Would this make them less loved and respected? I have read a couple other of your posts around this community, and although Adrial will come and say this in much nicer words, if you were my friend I would smack you. You do realize that your ex is human right? and that not one person was born wishing they had herpes, or any other tough situation they go through? Are you a compassionate person? Because I am not really seeing it in your posts? And maybe that's why you aren't feeling better. Are you judgemental to the point that you could not look yourself in the mirror without ripping yourself apart for being human? You don't feel better because I speculate, because your attitude towards yourself, goes a lot deeper than a simple skin condition. I am sure Adrial will come in soon and rewrite this into something beautiful. But as a friend who is also experiencing herpes, I want to slap you, then cry and hug you. Everything is going to be okay.

Could the way that you handle finding out that you have Herpes be directly corelated to the ideas that you had about others when you heard that they had it (prior to you having it)? Would YOU have been an easy person to disclose to? In my opinion, what makes Herpes so "dirty" to everyone is that it has become a secret? But why? Because like Adrial keeps saying (in far more intelligent words than my own) is that it really ISN'T about having Herpes at all. It is about your deep dark issues that you have been pushing down and away. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of sex... whatever social conditioning you have experienced up until this point, including TV, but not limited to your parents. If someone outside of you and came up and repeated to you the same words that you tell yourself. You might want to beat the shit out of them. I would consider coming up with a new voice in your head that "beats the shit" out of that negative voice. Just sayin.

Self love may go a long way here in helping you get your "sexy back." Allow you to get yourself off first while dealing with the mental negativity might help you overcome the thoughts you are having while he is trying. It is only a suggestion, but it worked for me. In the past, with my ex, I would joke about it a lot as well... he would make attempts, I would respond with something like, "oohhh I don't know, there is a rumor going on around here that you have herpes, what kind of a girl do you think I am?" Herpes is really not that serious, it is kinda funny if you think about it. It is nothing much different than Acne but shows up in the least of desired areas. It is not NEARLY as bad as education pictures suggest. Have you ever googled a "small house fire?" One of the first pictures is an entire house burning down... when you google Herpes outbreak, you practically see the worst case scenario and OMG, is that penis about to fall off!?!?! Make it funny, make it light, make it not so serious and you will see the people around you do the same. Your energy rubs off on everybody but affects you the most. So, make it funny to yourself, get yourself off...and slap the shit out of yourself if you need to. I highly doubt you would allow ANYBODY else talk to you the way you do. Seriously.

It was hard for the first couple weeks, but now it is pretty simple. It is a skin condition, it does not kill you and it is like mosquito repellent for people who don't belong in your life anyways.... true story.