Everything posted by mag333
I’m not sure if this is a dumb question or not so I apologize if it is lol but for some background, before I had my really bad initial outbreak in April of this year which caused me to get diagnosed with hsv2, I would get little cuts on my vulva after sex. I had actually gone to the dr one time about a year ago because I had what looked like tears on my perineum (which I get every time I have sex and that’s happened for over a year now) and the dr said I just needed to use lubrication and nothing was wrong. I also would get long ulcers that looked like cuts in the creases of my vulva and lips after sex and I was told again just use more lube. But I’m starting to think maybe I’ve had hsv2 for years and had little outbreaks without knowing it before my big initial outbreak in April? Is that possible? And also I had sex last night and this morning, we used a condom, I’m on valcyclovir and I had no signs of an outbreak coming on and I haven’t had an outbreak since my initial one in April so I thought it would be fine, but as soon as we started I felt some pain and then immediately after I noticed that I have ulcers all over, inside, on my vulva, perineum, and even on the outside. Is it possible for the sores to just pop up that quickly? I’m so confused and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever have a normal sex life again, I’m a very sexual person and this is really upsetting me a lot and I’m scared I’ll never be able to enjoy sex again. Has anyone had a similar experience and ended up normal again? Or is this my new normal?
I had my first outbreak April 1st of this year and it was horrible, literally the worst pain of my life. And due to covid I didn’t want to go to the doctor, I thought I just had a really bad yeast infection and I had cut myself by scratching in my sleep until it got really bad. So I went to the doctor on day 5 of my outbreak and got put on valtrex and it took me almost 4 weeks to feel better and I was fine for a day or two and now I have another outbreak. Although this one is basically painless, just itchy, I’m feeling horrible about myself. I feel like it’s completely my fault and I shouldn’t have been as promiscuous as I have been. I got out of a 3 year emotionally abusive relationship less than a year ago and I suck at being alone so I went a little crazy trying to meet new people but as a 22 year old female, that usually turns into sex. So I’ve slept with a lot of people this year and I blame myself 100% for this. But I don’t know how to tell the man who gave it to me, he keeps asking to see me but I am so scared if I tell him he’s going to expose me or get angry with me. It’s possible he knows he has it and just didn’t disclose but I can’t imagine doing that to someone so I want to believe that he doesn’t know yet. I’m planning on telling him, I just need to accept it myself first because I still am having a very hard time with that. I feel like I’m going to just not date or get close to anybody for a very long time because I’m too scared to disclose and after the pain and depression I’ve gone through I would never want to pass this to another person and I’m so scared that even if I do disclose and my partner is okay with it I’ll spread it to him. I know I’m overreacting but I just feel like my life is over, I know it’s not that big of a deal and it’s super common but it doesn’t feel that way to me. I’m just so scared nobody will ever love me and I’ll be exposed. I guess I’m basically just venting here and asking for support and advice on how to tell the man who gave it to me.