I’m honestly so glad you said this. I have these thoughts all the time, so you are not alone. It’s like, great, now I have to tell someone I’m just getting to know my deepest darkest secret and make a decision within the first few times of hanging out if I want a long term relationship with this person. It’s just not realistic and not fair.
It basically just forced me to give up on casual sex, which really sucks sometimes... especially when it’s been 3 years since my last relationship and I can’t seem to find the next right person for me.
It’s made me be the “prude” in the online dating scene because I keep putting off sex until we can get to know one another and I decide where this is going. But that prude isn’t really me. And so most the time I just prefer say fuck it and stop dating.
But here’s the honest truth:
1. You can only non disclose if you for sure won’t see this person again, and how can you know that for sure? The worst thing is when you don’t and then you want to date that person later and now you can’t not tell them. And now you’re stuck with them feeling angry, confused, and doubting their trust in you.
2. I’ve non disclosed twice sort of by accident (substances involved) and sort of out of cowardice... and then had to fess up. It’s 100 times worse of a conversation than if I had just done it up front.
So I don’t really have the answer, aside from take the meds, use condoms, and only non-disclose if it’s truly no strings attached.
I haven’t landed on this answer for myself and unfortunately have turned inward and away from dating as result. Just know I’m with you... SOLIDARITY