RiRiRi

My last boyfriend gave me HSV2 after dating for 5 months. I assumed he didn’t know he had it because I couldn’t imagine him ever putting me at risk. I was so sick with fever, malaise, and it hurt to walk for 2 weeks. He accepted responsibility and got tested. He was positive for HSV2. He told me he would be there for me and we would just have to be careful and wash our hands after sex. He used to love giving me oral, but never did it again. After HSV, he would barely have sex with me once a month. Sometimes he would shower at 2 or 3 am after sex. Sometimes he would come to bed with all his clothes on. He wouldn’t talk to me about why we weren’t having sex. I took daily suppressive antivirals and tried to be patient with him for 8 months. I thought that maybe I had an OB once and he just rolled over and turned away from me. It made me feel disgusting, dirty, and unattractive. It totally cut down my self esteem and self confidence. It never got better. He dumped me in the middle of COVID. We were social distancing and I think he was afraid of getting that from me too. At least in the future, the people who reject me won’t be the person who gave it to me.