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Mayaa47

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Everything posted by Mayaa47

  1. I’ve been a weed smoker for about 2-3 years consistently daily often in a backwood so with tobacco and I know smoking can be a trigger for a lot, but I just wanted to hear from my weed smokers if anyone else too would get triggered from the weed or if I should just try eliminating the tobacco and smoking it alone. I’ve been in this bad cycle of consistent outbreaks for months and I feel I don’t feel happy without the weed but also fear it’s what’s causing me to have these constant outbreaks. I am also taking suppressive meds of 400mg a day, but I see no help. I guess I should take break smoking to find out, but it’s hard cause it’s what helps me mentally to deal with this, but if it’s the cause I will quit. I also have a vape with nicotine in it so that might be the problem? Any tips or advice would be helpful thank you
  2. Not sure if this helps but at least the chances of your hsv1 calming down and only having 1 outbreak a year after the 6-1 year mark may be comforting.. I know nothing seems to help feel better because there is no real solution.. I hope things get better for you, you can always message me too.
  3. You are definitely being reasonable, you have a right to know her results and you seem to be fairly sensitive about the topic. She clearly just doesn’t want to talk about the topic in general, but maybe if you reassure her that you care about her no matter her status you just want the rest of the results to know for sure.
  4. Thank you for responding, I have the daily suppressive but I haven’t been taking them countipusly enough I just seem to give up everytime cause they don’t seem to be working, but I’m gonna start being consistent with them and then talk to my doctor about upping the dose if that doesn’t help, thank you.
  5. I found out I had herpes last summer, pretty sure contract after sleeping with man one time in March without a condom I was drunk and stupid. I just can’t seem to heal and move on or forgive myself with these constant outbreaks and symptoms.. I really just don’t want to be here anymore.. I’m only 18 and I just can’t see myself being happy and enjoying life for the rest of my life this way. I’ve been on the suppressive therapy and it’s no help every month I get a new outbreak and in between still doesn’t feel right fully down there. I feel like I’m never gonna have a sex life again.. I have no partner I told my ex after we were sleeping with each other again before I found out but he was in another relationship by time I talked to it with him and who knows if he even got tested. Never talked to other guy bout it other than cussing him out when he tried texting me saying he gave me a std but I never specified and he denied.. idk what to do I’ve felt so lonely for months now but I don’t want to put this burden on anyone else and it seems like nothing I do helps.. any advice?
  6. Hello everyone, I would love an H buddy female or male. I live in the Bay Area (Ca) so someone near would nice though not needed. Also preferably contracted while they were younger or newly found out and young now as I am 18. Thank you please message me in need of support and here to give it back. 😊
  7. Mayaa47

    Sad..

    This is exactly what my worst fear is.. 😭 it makes me sad because I feel I will settle as well I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on w life knowing I have to let him go and search for someone who will accept me. I’ve always had many guys try to talk to me and I wouldn’t talk to any of them cause I felt I could go better and made me feel so confident, but now it just makes me feel like if only you knew.. and I’ll never find anyone now and I feel I can no longer have any expectations I just have to now hope I’m accepted..
  8. Mayaa47

    Sad..

    Thank you, I appreciate it I’m just scared of being this age knowing how he will react already.
  9. Mayaa47

    Sad..

    Oops typo I have hsv-2*
  10. Mayaa47

    Sad..

    Hi everyone, I’m new here. Been on here for the past couple of weeks just reading stories trying to learn and cope with my diagnosis. I am 18 only had a year and a half of a normal sex life before contracting this disease .. sigh. I had a committed boyfriend who I had lost my virginity too and when we had broken up and he started dating another girl I was very sad and was drinking and smoking a lot. One night I got really drunk and a guy who I had entertained before but never planned on sleeping with had called me and I was just already so drunk and being dumb told him to come over. We drank more and ended up having unprotected sex. We never talked about stds and didn’t even think about a condom in the moment. I remember he had accidentally slipped it in the other hole tmi lol i know, but I noticed that area was really sore and hurt the next morning. Thought nothing of it and the discomfort for the next week and it went away. Fast forward 5 months later me and my ex had happen to come across each other at a murals party we started talking again like we always do. He is my first love and we always end up back to each other somehow. Basically we ended up seeing each other again slept with each other 3 different occasions unprotected. Things go south with us as they always do and we stop talking. About a week later I notice the discomfort in the anus region again look at my genitals in the mirror and notice some blisters. I was scared went to the doctor and they gave me a visual diagnosis saying it was herpes. I couldn’t believe it and got the blood test as well. My doctor called me back a. Few days later to tell me I had have-2. It’s been a few weeks now of just crying and feeling like my life is over. I’m too young for this. I finally decided and had the courage to tell my bestf of 8 years and she was very supportive, her mom cousin, a few friends have it etc. it makes me feel better but still makes me upset cause why me and why so early in life.. I still haven’t contacted my ex boyfriend and told him about my diagnosis I’m scared of his reaction and if he has it.. I’m always scared of the way he will perceive me when we first started to date I was this magnificent virgin.. and now I’m just infected. I know that he loves me and I do trust him to keep my secret but I’m just sad because I know he would never want me now and it kills me. Also the boy who I just know gave this to me contacted me a few days ago asking why I don’t talk to him anymore and such and I just went off saying he gave me a whole std this and that and he’s denying anything I didn’t even mention it was herpes but he still is trying to see me so I assume he didn’t know.. which I guess I can’t blame him I blame myself more I knew he was someone a little older (20) and I knew he slept around. I just wish I hadn’t got drunk that night or never answered his call but I can’t go back now.. the past scares me and so does the future.. idk what to do
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