fitgirl

@Bambina as much as that comment is a dagger to you..... it's also a comment born from ignorance... he has herpes so the sooner he gets real with it and you come clean, the sooner you can move on with more enlightened lives. It's gonna hurt to own your indescretions it's going to be hard for you both but the truth is the truth. Stepping up will make you feel better in the long run . I guarantee it. You can have herpes and a"normal" life not knowing..... having children etc..... what are you hiding from really? What are you running from? One day that road will come to a dead end. Why not get off it now ?

@skeif do you have type 1 or 2? If you have type 2 the risk if oral transmission is ECTREMELY low. Hsv2 doesn't like the oral region and has less than a 1% chance if transmission orally especially if you are in suppressive meds. If you wear your boxers and a condom the risk would be so small it wouldn't be much risk at all. Over time....whether it's with this girlfriend or not, you and your partner will be able to engage in oral without the fear if you educate yourself and your partner as much as possible. The more you learn the less scary it is. You are already doing all the right things so keep learning and working through this with your girlfriend and I am sure she will come around :) If you research on this site you will find a lot of the info you seek.

@ThePhoenix welcome! First off, can you clarify that you know for sure you have ghsv2? If you didn't have sex were you "rubbing " genitals? Have you had OB'S since your encounter? It sounds like she is both naive and willfully ignorant to the facts about herpes. She was careless and selfish not to tell you. Also, herpes never goes away!!!! Just because she has no symptoms (so she says) doesn't Mean she isn't contagious while shedding. I have to day, a woman like that isn't one you would have wanted to enter into a serious relationship with. She hasn't take responsibility for her status, there is Noth you can do about that so just let it go and focus on YOU. As for moving forward it you do have herpes.... it seems like a long and lonely path but it isn't. Religion, race or creed doesn't matter. Open minded educated people know that herpes is minor. An inconvenience at best. Who you tell is up to you but know this: 80% of the population has herpes so all those people in your circle are not "herpes free" I guarantee it! There are plenty of people in the world who are authentic and accepting and if herpes is the worst thing you have going g for you then you are doing OK :) I suggest you read ad much as you can on this site and learn the facts. So many of us have lived with herpes for years and we are a team entry that herpes helps weed out the people who weren't meant for us and allow us to narrow in on self love and acceptance. Once you find out what you value and you accept yourself for all of your flaws and challenges you will attract women who see you for the man you are. Herpes isn't a deal breaker for people who look past the superficial.

Correction I meant ghsv1. ... ironically my phone autocorrects to ghsv2 :)

@ScreamImOkay so let me get this straight. ... you have ghsv2? And your bf has cold sores? And HE is mad at herpes? And you are mad at herpes? But he wouldn't look at you when talking about it? And HE said he would r go to work with sores on his face it once again HE has oral hsv1? Is that all accurate? I am totally confused why his issue is..... I understand your shock and feelings because it's hard when we first learn about herpes. But you realize that HE have YOU ghsv1 right? does he understand that you have genital herpes because he gave it to you? And what did he mean he just has cold sores HSV1 .... JUST? Herpes is herpes. Location is only relevant when you buy into stigma and are uniformed . I highly recommend you both get educated on herpes and learn what is true and what isn't. He needs to know that he can infect anyone with hsv1 if he isn't careful. The more you learn the better you will feel about all this. I have had herpes for over 15yrs and it's an adjustment at first but it doesn't change who you are :)

@Bambina3 @2Legit2Quit yes this is a bit tricky but based on what you have said it is very likely you have had herpes all these years and like so many people, you didn't know! You can take blame for that.... that is one part of this equation you need to let go of. You can't change the past but you CAN change the future. The torment you feel is natural and learning to deal with the knowledge you have herpes is always a Rollercoaster. You will adjust and learn to accept the reality of herpes but your emotional unrest has absolutely nothing to do with herpes. Once again..... herpes is a blessing, it has show up now to help you find true happiness and authenticity. It's not here to punish you for your I discretion nor is it a statement of your value. Herpes is the guiding light for you to face your issues and get real. Your husband has herpes and you most probably are the one who gave it to him. You need to be honest. You need to tell him about the virus and help him understand it. You also need to tell him about the affairs, your outbreaks are a result of the stress you are feeling surrounding your secrets and if you let the secrets out you will free yourself from that burden and then you and your husband can really deal with what is going on. Ironically., based on the info you gave it sounds like you had herpes long before the affairs so they are irrelevant to the virus (although it would be the right thing to do to contact those partners to tell them what you now know) they may or may not have Contacted it from you but they should know they were exposed so they don't go passing it unknowingly to others. These are all hard things to do but it will eat you up and destroy you little by little if you don't take responsibility for your choices, own them then allow yourself a d your husband to Heal. This may bring you closer in the long run or it may break you up but the truth will set you both free. He deserves the truth and you deserve to get to the bottom of what made you cheat and dig deep to find out who YOU are and what you value. We all make mistakes, what matters is how we deal with them. Lies and secrets destroy lives .. you have a real chance to change your life for the better and herpes just forced your hand. As for the virus itself, your body seems to handle it quite well so physically it won't be a major life change for you. Your issues are emotional, we all feel the stigma at first but you will get past that if you put the effort into accepting yourself and loving yourself. It sounds like that is the first step for you. I have had herpes for over 15yrs and have gone through a host of challenges but in the end I have learned that herpes doesn't define me, how I treat myself and others is what does.

@Dolly213 welcome! I typed this days ago but foot to post it!! I wad 25 when I got ghsv2 ....I am now 42 and let me be the first to tell you, everything is going to be golden! Herpes is your blessing not your curse. It had cleared your path and shown you that abusive and destructive men have no place in your life so you should actually thank herpes for saving you from a life of despair with an addict. You deserve more than that and herpes will guide you towards self love and acceptance. Take time to find out who YOU are and what you want from life. It's not your job to save anyone, you need to take care if yourself and find your own path in life. You can change people you can only change yourself, the rest is out of your hands.

@notsurehere the odds of you getting herpes from her are zero if she doesn't have it! Just because her ex has it, doesn't mean she does. I agree yoy should both get tested to determine if it's relevant before you start assuming it is. A lot of discordant couples never pass along the virus. If she does test positive then taking suppressive medication would significantly drop your risk along with using condoms. If you test positive, you like had herpes already since it takes generally 4 to 6 months to elicit a positive result so if that happens it wouldn't be her that gave it to you.

@riverstyx That's good advice! Now you can move on and get out there more man! ;)

@riverstyx well then you could not have been exposed by her! Ha....she would "die" hmmmm if we could all go back to ignorance is bliss life would be so much simpler wouldn't it? There is a good chance you don't have herpes and if not for these tests you would have had one less thing to street about ; ) . Keep us posted on what discover with the next test and hopefully you will get to the bottom of this. It is silly to worry if you have no reason to!!!

@NothingGoodGetsAway my infectious disease doctor told me that the studies on 500mg vs 1g daily suppressive therapy show the benefit of 500mg to be equally effective. He suggested that taking more wasn't better in most cases with the exception of increasing the dose when you feel an OB coming on. As far as your maintenance dose, 500mg should be enough. For me, I had regular OB'S for many many years regardless of my lifestyle. Now that I am on suppressive treatment I get virtually zero OB'S. ... it has been a game changer. 500mg is all I take daily and it works like a charm

@riverstyx hopefully legit will chime in.... dancer is not as available for a bit but they are more knowledgeable on the testing stuff. Your situation is certainly very odd. And wow...10 years man!!! You gotta get out more ;) . Your symptoms may just be paranoia. When you said you were "with: a virgin, what does that mean? If you tested positive for hsv1 this could make some sense but 2 doesn't add up based on your story. I wish I had more insight for you! Hopefully someone els might have an explanation

@riverstyx I am not the test expert here but it sounds like you may have herpes and it took time to show up as positive.that said...... get the western blot again to be certain. The tingling may be a symptom of herpes but the western blot will hopefully clear up the confusion. Speaking of confusion, remind me why you had the herpes test done in the first place if you have no symptoms or OB and you didn't even have sex with a virgin?

@kelly as legit said.... oral is still ok as long as you have no symptoms and is less likely to pass than kissing so go for it ;)

@Mj8989 my man didn't care either and still doesn't. That said, taking Valtrex makes ME feel better. Knowing I am protecting him as much as I can makes me feel better. The Valtrex also keeps my OB'S to nearly none. Accept that accepts the risk, obviously he loves you and the truth is. ...herpes isn't a big deal if you don't make it one. Be safe, be careful but LIVE and let him love you. That is a relationship everyone wants, herpes or no herpes.