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shamrock

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Everything posted by shamrock

  1. I recently tested positive for HSV-1. I got tested because I had a new partner about a month ago and we did not use protection. I was having some discomfort (itching, redness) so I got tested and results came back as HIGH for HSV-1. I immediately assumed this indicated genital and freaked out, felt depressed and scared. I did a lot of research and even posted on this forum about it when I was feeling so lost about what this meant for my future. When I received my results I immediately paid to have the phone call consultation from a doctor about them. It took a couple days to get that call, which in that time I had already informed my 2 most recent partners and gone down the rabbit hole. The call lasted less than 2 minutes and the doctor informed me that I tested positive for HSV-1 but no STDs and that I was fine, no need to worry.... Hence my confusion. I asked her if she was sure that it was not genital herpes and proceeded to share that I have redness kind of like a rash but no blistering. She told me that I likely have something else going on that I should get checked locally but other than that I am fine. This left me with only more questions. How do I know for sure that I am not misinformed? Should I be relieved? I am slightly more frustrated with myself for paying $95 for a consultation that told me no more than I could find on the internet and left me even more confused. All in, what am I supposed to think now? What does this mean about disclosure? I plan on going to see a specialist but that may take some time, especially in the pandemic. Can anyone shed some light?
  2. I am new to this forum as I just found out a couple days ago that I tested positive for HSV-1. I am 22 and single, terrified at that this will mean for my future ability to date and find someone willing to look past this. Just entering the real world I was excited by the opportunity to (post-covid) meet new people and date around. But now it feels like I am setting myself up for rejection and potential loss of great people. I see many on here comment on that when you disclose to your potential partner, it may act as somewhat of a 'filter' for those who are not really right for you but I have a hard time stomaching that rationale. Having since done research it is clear how over stigmatized a HSV infection is but without having done that digging I would have never known that. If I am being honest with myself I would have also been wary to be intimate with someone who shared with me that they have herpes. It is the life long part that is scary. That is what would have deterred me. It is my own acknowledgement that I would have likely been wary that scares me the most. If I was less likely to become involved with someone who disclosed their diagnosis with me then it is perfectly likely that others will feel the same about me. I would not blame them for feeling this way. It is understandable. These are supposed to be my peak years in life and I feel I have lost them. Delayed at first due to covid, now lost entirely. I am so afraid of being alone forever. I spent a majority of my college years and then some single and I know I have spent a lot of time working on myself and toward my career, developing happiness as an individual. But it has come with the sadness of feeling alone when many around me are not and now having to tell any potential mate that there is a chance I give them a lifelong infection feels like the final blow to ever being not alone. I am scared. I am so sad. I am feeling lost and hopeless. I don't know what to do to be okay with this.
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