NJRunnerMom
-
Posts
78 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
14
Posts posted by NJRunnerMom
-
-
There's a person on these boards who didn't know they had this until they got their COVID vaccine so it's definitely possible.
-
1
-
-
Yes, for the most part, plus a daily antiviral will reduce that figure by another 50% too.
-
1
-
-
I take valacyclovir and lysine daily and don't have any of those symptoms. When I take Vitamin B Complex my urine is dark the first time I pee after that, but that's it.
-
1
-
-
Don't let this define you!!! You are special and worthy of love, never forget that. You can and will find someone who will love you regardless. But you need to love and accept yourself first. I think that once that happens your entire mindset changes and you attract positive people. Keep in mind that you don't have to tell someone about H until you feel intimacy is on the horizon. Try to just go on dates and get to know someone before you tell them about this. I waited about a month to tell my guy and we got to just know each other so when I had to tell him I was a bit more comfortable and confident. It's now been over 2 and a half months and there's no signs of us slowing down. You can be happy too!
-
1
-
-
1 hour ago, Sumshine said:
@NJRunnerMomI totally agree with you. I plan to use conventional dating as I feel like you do. If they are into you, H doesn't matter
Exactly!!! Good luck to you, you're special someone is out there, I promise!
-
1
-
-
On 7/16/2021 at 11:50 PM, JuneB said:
Thank you so much 💓. I can't even explain how I'm feeling. I cry all the time. Just knowing that this could have been prevented. I feel like my life to have a family has ended. Does this feeling ever go away? I'm so scared. He said he never had any of those symptoms before.
This feeling does go away but it takes some time. You have to get to a point of acceptance to be able to move on. For me, once I accepted this and that this is the new me, things got better and I started to feel better about myself which allowed me to gain some confidence back to go back out in the dating world. I met my current boyfriend on a dating app (Not H+ only) and things could not be any better. I disclosed to him about a month into dating and he accepted me 100%. Since then we've met each others kids, families, friends, just got back from the Dominican Republic for a short adults only vacation, have another family vacation planned in August for us and all of our kids, etc. Good things can still happen for you. You just need some time and that's okay.
-
1
-
-
I did not use an H+ site and met my current boyfriend on a regular dating app (POF). He accepted me and didn't judge me for this. He's H- and I'm doing everything in my power to keep it that way but don't feel that you can only date H+ people. The right person will love you regardless if they have it or not.
-
3
-
-
Could you possibly have a UTI? That could cause the burning/tingling sensation as well with virtually no other symptoms.
-
1
-
-
On 7/12/2021 at 11:54 AM, Snowman22 said:
I'm so happy for you NJRunnerMom! I'm in a similar situation as you now before your disclosure. I've been dating a woman for the past 8 weeks and our relationship and feelings for each other have become strong. Since the relationship was moving toward intimacy, I thought I should just get a blood test. The test revealed that I am HSV1 positive. I've been asymptomatic so had no idea about it. I need to disclose the test result to her. I am nervous, but at least by hearing your experience, I am assured that some people are out there who are like your boyfriend. Good luck in future with your romance NJRunnerMom. I salute your courage and honesty too.
Thank you!!! The risk was worth the reward. It was definitely a tough conversation to have but it in fact brought us closer and we can have really deep conversations about things because of it. Keep the faith! You will be okay and you will find someone who will love you for you.
-
1
-
-
Mine lasted about 4 weeks from start to finish which included the nerve pain. The physical sores took about 2 weeks. Get yourself a squirt bottle and when you pee, squirt the water onto your lady parts at the same time. It'll help take the pain away.
-
1
-
-
I'm on Lo Loestrin Fe, have been for years before HSV and I've only had my initial outbreak back in January.
-
1
-
-
On 6/27/2021 at 11:45 AM, Flowerteacher55 said:
@NJRunnerMom Hi!!!
Oh my gosh I loved reading that!! I'm so happy it went well, he sounds like such a kind man!!
Hooray!! I wish you both the best and am sending blessings and happiness both of your ways!! 🦋☀️🌈❤️
Thank you so much! I can't even begin to tell you how good this man is. I am so grateful and blessed to have him in my life.
-
1
-
-
It went better than I ever would have expected! He said to me that this is not a deal breaker and that it changes nothing! We met a little over a month ago, text every day and have seen each other 7 times before last night to give you a bit of a timeline.
Here's what I did. I wrote a little script of how I wanted to say things. I then sent it to my best friend and my sister, then I sent it to my best friends husband and then an HSV2 male friend that I met on here. In the interim I went on YouTube and searched for "herpes disclosures" and started watching as many videos as I could to just get used to hearing the word. I would say in my car, at home, etc...I have herpes. I needed to hear myself saying it. After taking all of my friends opinions, male opinions, YouTube suggestions, I finally tweaked my script and this is somewhat how it went:
There's something that I've been wanting to share with you and I feel that now is a good time because I trust you and I care about you. I like you a lot and I like the direction this is heading. (And then I took a few deep breaths and continued) I have HSV2, which is the virus responsible for herpes. It's ultimately a skin condition that's not life threatening and is more or less a nuisance if you have an outbreak, in which I've only had 1. For me this isn't a big deal and it's only a small part of who I am. I take a daily antiviral to help keep it suppressed and I keep my immune system strong. I'm not sure how you feel about this or is this is a deal breaker or not but I hope this won't change anything between us. Do you have any questions for me or want to know anything? (And then I stopped talking) I didn't cry and I try to be more matter of fact than anything.
Leading up to this he had picked me up and we went out for the night and he was dropping me off at home and we were in his car in my driveway, this way we both had an out if it got uncomfortable. We were saying goodnight and that was when I felt it was time to talk.
As I was talking he had held my hand the entire time and didn't twitch or do anything to pull away as I was telling him. He listened to what I had to say. So once I stopped talking he said to me that it's not a deal breaker at all and he feels the same way about me. He then said, and this made me laugh a little, you can still have sex right?! I said of course and that's when I went into the statistics of 4% transmission with doing nothing, 2% since I'm on Valtrex, and then 1% with condoms. He shook his head as if to say that's not a big deal at all. I told him that I would be very upfront if I felt something was off with me but also reassured him that there are many other ways to connect as well. He didn't judge me at all and then hugged me. We kissed a bit more and then he asked when he could see me again and then he went home. I texted him once I got inside my head and thanked him for listening and not judging me. His response was...It changes nothing 🙂 And I hope Monday comes fast so I get to see you again!
So here I was hoping for the best, preparing for the worst, and feeling like I was going to be breaking up with him and it went better than I could ever have expected.
I hope this helps and let's you know that it is possible to find someone who accepts us for who we are not what we have. Sorry for how long it is but if you get anything out of it then that makes me happy.
-
6
-
1
-
-
Hey there. I'm sorry about what you're going through but coming from someone who wasn't given the choice, I would be really angry too. I know it's hard to disclose to someone but you shouldn't have let yourself get into a situation where sexual actions could take place before having the talk. But at this point what's done is done and you need to learn and move on from it. Try to give her some time and then maybe try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. Either way, I wish you luck.
-
3
-
-
5 hours ago, Bootsychootsy said:
How did you word it when you told him? That's my main concern. I'm not sure how to bring it up for the highest chance of success.
This was the speech I kept repeating to myself. Of course when the time came I had to improvise but this was the gist of it. I stated the facts, made sure that the H word was in there and then pretty much waited to hear his response. I think I also said I hope this is not a deal breaker because the first thing he did was shake his head and say no, this is not a deal breaker. And then after that we talked more in depth and I gave the transmission rates, mentioned that condoms help reduce it, my main priority is to keep him safe from this, etc
"There's something important that I've wanted to share with you and I feel that now would be a good time to tell you because I trust you and I care about you. I have HSV2 which is the virus responsible for herpes. It's ultimately a skin condition that's not life threatening and is more of an inconvenience if I have an outbreak, which I've only had 1. For me this isn't a big deal, and it's only a small part of who I am. I'm able to manage it well and I take a daily antiviral to keep it supressed. I know this is a lot to absorb and I hope it won't change anything between us because I enjoy your company and I think we have a great connection. Do you have any questions for me, or is there anything you want to ask me. I respect whatever decision you make."
-
All of our dates consisted of a walk and then dinner so we were never in a position where sex was an option. He had his kids full time so he couldn't invite me there and because of my H status I didn't invite him into my home.
I worried about that too but if in a months time someone felt trapped then they probably aren't for you anyway.
I will say that when I disclosed and we started talking he did say to me that he thought I didn't like him in a sexual way and I made sure to tell him that I had to tell him this before going further. By him saying that it made me realize that if I would've waited any longer I'm not sure if he would've been out meeting other women. But we never talked about being exclusive or dating before my disclosure so technically I didn't have to tell him anything since we weren't sexual at that time.
-
1
-
-
I waited until we went on about 7 dates and I could see that things were progressing with the possibility of a future. I told him in his car at the end of our date as he was dropping me off back home this way we both had an easy out. Didn't need it because he accepted me and we're in a great relationship right now.
-
1
-
-
We've all been there. Give yourself some time to deal with this and learning how to accept the new you. I thought the same thing about no one will want me, I'm too old, etc. I'm 40 and single and yes, this diagnosis stung but you eventually accept it. My doctor put it this way, I was grieving the loss of my old self and couldn't cope with it. I'm on an antidepressant right now to help get me through. I also met someone and after about 4 weeks I had to disclose to him and I was terrified. But he was 100% completely accepting of me and now we're in a relationship, I've met his kids and family and we just planned a vacation next month together. My point is that I think we put so much focus on this and the dread that it causes instead of saying this is me, I'm taking care of it and will do everything I can to take care of you too. Be kind to yourself. You will feel better, it just takes some time. Don't give up hope.
-
3
-
-
I'm sorry to hear that he became distant but like you said, it wasn't meant to be. This is not a reflection of who you are. There are plenty of fish in the sea and this was not one of them. Your perfect man is still out there and you will find him. Stay strong and positive my friend. Big hugs!
-
1
-
-
Hi There,
Yes, it could definitely show up in other areas. For some people it's always the same but for others it moves to the path of least resistance which may be different each time.
-
31 minutes ago, Sarah317 said:
I am so proud of you and I needed to read this so very badly today. You have given me hope again! Maybe one day I will meet the one for me. I am so excited for you!!
Thank you! It was definitely worth the risk and he's a great guy. He actually introduced me to his boys yesterday and we're now planning a mini vacation together. My H status changed nothing for him. I'm so blessed. Please never give up hope! You will find someone who will love ALL of you.
-
2
-
-
Hi There, I'm sorry you feel this way, we've all been there, trust me it gets better but it will take some time to accept your new diagnosis. Did you get a blood test too? The blood test will let you know if you have antibodies built up already which would mean you had the virus prior to this. Your life isn't over, it's just a little different, that's all. You're in a tender situation with your boyfriend, who's also married if I'm reading that right?
-
1
-
-
Thank you! @beihaigirl2004
-
1
-
-
Thank you so much! Your mom is a smart woman!
-
1
-
.jpg)
Covid vaccine and herpes outbreaks
in General herpes discussion
Posted
I got the J & J one and it did not cause an outbreak. I'm also taking daily valacyclovir so I don't know if that helped or not.