Kristin (breatheandletgo)

I cried real tears when Lost was over. lol Can you get the show episodes on iTunes? It's such a poignant show... If not we shall talk. Mwah ha haaaa!

I never ever watch TV...in fact, I rarely turn it on...but I watched 4 episodes last night, so you've been warned. :D I loved Lost, too. But I didn't laugh much watching it. This one made me laugh out loud, and tear up too... all alone in my jammies. If I know you at all, you will love it. Kristin

And I realize this forum is for general herpes discussion, and I failed to make the truest of herpes connections here, but if I did that it would ruin everything. Spoil all the fun...so just trust me. It's about the opportunity to get support. For life challenges. Yeah. Connection made.

Go On? I just watched the pilot episode and I don't want to spoil it for anyone. There are definitely some funny moments, but the whole show just made my heart swell, especially the end. And yes, I am revealing that I am a total sap. But you are my tribe, so you have to embrace me. ;) If you haven't seen it, you can watch it online at NBC. (It's the new show with Matthew Perry) It explores the concept of picking up the pieces of your life when it falls apart in a darkly humorous way that is just awesome. Kristin

Marii, I feel really good about this for you...either way it goes, I think you are going to be stronger and love yourself no matter what. I really do! I am sitting here right now imagining you sharing your heart with him and all the while, you're surrounded by light and love. We'll be here. Kristin

pcvkak, Thank you so much for sharing your full story here. I am so sorry we have to be fellow travelers on the herpes path rather than fellow grammy award winners or something cooler ;) but I am glad you are here. You will find your story is not so unusual. I got herpes from the first man I slept with after being with the same man for 19 years of marriage...my first high school boyfriend and the first man I ever slept with PERIOD. Really bad stuff happens sometimes and it never seems to happen to the ones we think deserve it. But I believe in a bigger plan, and that it's what we do with the suffering that defines us. You may still be smarting, and that is to be expected, but coming here, sharing yourself and seeking connection is a great step toward that world change you wanted to get busy on in the Peace Corps. You are starting with YOU...and I have a strong feeling we need you here. peace, Kristin

I love that, A. What an awesome resource that would be. I was doing my nerd thing this morning looking at creating an HOpp app for us. It would be cool to send a box of biz cards with a QR code on it patients could scan with their smart phones and be jettisoned here and to the podcasts for support and encouragement. Dreaming..but I'm thinking I will be talking to you about it. That would have been so helpful to me. I am actually seeing a new doctor now because of how poorly this diagnosis was handled with me. I remember when I told Dr. New Guy what happened and how I thought I got H, he just listened like I was the only woman he'd ever met with herpes...and then he put his hand on my arm and said, "Kristin...it's going to be okay. You're still you...you're gonna be okay." And I couldn't hold back. I sobbed. And he just waited for me. It did so much more for my healing than anything else he could have ever done. I tease him now, when I go in for exams and tell him I know women fall in love with their gynocologists all the time, but our love is real. ;) If your doctor treated you well post-diagnosis, and gave you some kind of information, send them a thank you note. I don't think it's very common.

B, we were diagnosed four days apart. I was on December 7th. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope physicians and others who are caregivers will read it and see the need for compassion, education and more sensitivity and dedication to following up with patients post diagnosis. Even to refer them to this site! My situation was handled very much the same as yours. If I weren't a reader/reasearcher I would have been completely lost! I was absolutely devastated leaving the doctor's office and so disoriented. I kept repeating the words the doctor said to me over and over. It was awful! I believe it is the stigma of herpes that allows this kind of bs to continue, and I for one am ready to create change. Bringing it out of the darkness and into the light is the first step. And I KNOW what you shared is going to help a lot of people. Thanks again for putting yourself out there to be a support and encouragement to others. much love, Kristin

domh21, Sending you a big hug. I know this is really hard to deal with in the middle of work and a busy life. It feels huge right now, but you are going to find a new normal. Just take it a day at a time. My username is also a good set of instructions. :) When you feel the panic rising, breathe (most of us don't take nearly enough deep breaths) and visualize yourself letting go of the worry and anxiety you are feeling. Imagine it floating away like a balloon. I am a firm believer in letting go, or surrendering, being the first step toward getting what we need to cope. In regard to your girly questions...tampons, pads, it doesn't matter. Do what you have always done. I know there isn't a medical issue with either choice, though others with experiential advice might chime in. Shaving is the same. Obviously shaving during an outbreak is not the best idea, but I can't imagine anyone wanting to...just do what you feel comfortable with. You will learn to read your body's signals quickly. As for your lower back pain and night sweating, it could be related, the back pain I know others have mentioned, but again....worrying about it is a terrible plan for healing. ;) Relax and take really good care of yourself right now. Nurture yourself. We are here for you...keep posting... and breathing! Kristin aka breatheandletgo I

My pleasure, A. Thanks for providing me a place to heal and share. Kristin

Oh, A...I shoulda known you were a Neil Young kinda guy. :) One of my MY favorites ...it's better to burn out, than fade away.

Pcvkak- I have friends who have been married for 12 years...he is positive and she is negative as far as she knows. They have two kids so they don't use condoms all the time. The avoid sex during outbreaks and that's it...but so far so good for her, As far as she knows. When you say you were hoping for more, I am not sure what you mean, but I am sure some hesitate to offer anecdotal evidence because it's unreliable. No one wants to tell you something that may hurt you or someone you love. Please keep in mind we are just trying to be responsible in what we share. We aren't doctors...we don't even play them on TV, so we can't offer much outside of our own experience and often that is precious little, which is why we gather here. I know you're trying to prepare yourself for the talk...gathering information, etc....and we support you here! Information is an important part of disclosure, but no matter how many stories or facts you can google up, I personally believe the connection you have with your partner is going to be what makes the difference. Hopefully he is not going to need an algorithm to determine the desirability of establishing and growing an intimate connection with you, or rely on a few googled stories to seal the deal. My hope for you, is the person you disclose to sees your heart, your integrity, your desire to be transparent and loving with his safety in mind and says yes to YOU. And I believe the simple facts in one or two nuggets give a person the science they need. The rest should come from the heart. (And I'm a research nerd!) I hope you will stick around, no matter what happens, and share yourself with others and offer support as well. It works both ways... Breathe

So glad everyone is taking time to give a herpes buddy shout out! We are glad you are here. If you haven't posted your story in that section of the discussion boards, please do. Your story will help so many others just by being there. Irishdog, your post here tugged at my heart. I hope your talk went well. I am 42, single after 19 years of marriage and I got the gift from my first love who pursued me after he found out I was single again. It has been hard enough imagining dating and now this...but I believe it has the potential to make those intimate connections we crave deeper. I have to believe that for me, and I am believing it for you too. Take care everyone. :)

Lively, please keep posting here...like forever. :) Your practical and wise words soothed me today. I've got no one to disclose to, but when I do, I hope I have your grace and confidence. So glad you are part of this family. :) Kristin

Good news, A. Very happy for you and everyone there. We are all here sending you healing energy and love. Thanks for the update...keep 'me coming when you can. Kristin PS. In bed sick with horrible sinus blech so I've got nothing to do but think healing thoughts and send them all around!

I am totally in, A. You know that. By day (when I'm not wearing my Wonder Woman costume) I am on the national marketing team of a publicly traded company. I serve as our company's Senior Viral Marketing/Social Media Specialist. I have access to media outlets, experience writing and executing press releases on a national scale and success securing interviews with publications like USA Today, The Wall Street Journal and others you might recognize on behalf of the professionals at our firm. I work closely with the PR firm our company retains to support me on big projects and there are always favors I can call in. Sooooo....I can probably help a little with the publicity part if you want me to. I develop strategy for launching marketing campaigns of all kinds pretty much every day. I can also help with design, web or graphic, edit photos, etc. whatever you need, A. Oh, and I don't give a f**k who knows I have herpes, so I am not worried about championing the cause. I'm sexy and I know it. ;) Kristin

Lelani is right, Kris. Be gentle with yourself and find ways to reduce your stress. Everyone has varying opinions on medication. I take my antivirals all the time when my stress level is high just to keep breakouts at bay. Lelani (who is a wise and beautiful woman...and my board BFF) has a totally different approach to managing her outbreaks. She uses only natural supplements that support her body's immune system. Everyone has the right and responsibility to find their own way...but when you are newly diagnosed all of that can just add to your stress and confusion. So...follow your doctors advice right now. and yes, take the antivirals for your outbreak. (and like L, I had back to back outbreaks for a while too). Epsom salt baths help dry out the blisters and feel really good. I have also read that bathing in Epsom salts regularly helps your body absorb nutrients from the foods you eat more efficiently. Could be a crazy myth, but who cares!? It feels great anyway. :) There will be time to figure out what works best for you later. For now, take the meds while you have an outbreak. Call your doctor if you have questions. That is what they are there for... Breathe deeply. Nourish your body with healthy foods and get plenty of rest. Look for ways to nourish your soul. In other words, be your own best friend right now. Your body is working hard for you fighting this virus. You are not alone and we are here for you! Sending you a big hug, Kristin Aka breatheandletgo

I completed my profile, but didn't see the photo upload until I hit send...feel free to add my forum profile photo. Kristin

Alex, Wow. Just wow. You are awesome. I am so amazed at your perspective and insight to your journey! You are the brave and inspiring one. Thank you for being so open and sharing how you have come to see the "gifts" of The Gift. (H) I think your insights are going to help so many others move toward acceptance and self-love and I am so thankful you are here. Please keep sharing and don't feel bad if you have moments along the way where your vision isn't so clear and you feel down. We all have those, too. ;) The cool thing is we show up for one another around here and talk each other off the ledge if necessary! Keep owning your journey and embracing yourself as the sexy and beautiful woman you are...inside and out! I look forward to getting to know you more... much love, Kristin

I read this today...I bolded the manifesto-ish part. I shall ask into my shell only those friends with whom I can be completely honest. I find I am shedding hypocrisy in human relationships. What a rest that will be! The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gifts from the Sea Kristin

Kaande, L-Lysine is an amino acid naturally found in the body. Since it is an over the counter natural supplement, some doctors wouldn't feel comfortable prescribing its use. Check out WebMD and search LYSINE to read the recommended dosage and you will find other patient reviews there if you want to read more experiential information. In my experience, my blisters heal faster when I take lysine as opposed to when I don't. Since Lysine is an amino acid, and amino acids are the building blocks of protein, lysine helps the body heal and repair itself. It occurs naturally in the body to help bones grow and stay strong, maintain lean muscle mass, etc. Lysine is sometimes used in protein drinks or supplements designed for athletes to help their bodies recover from workouts. Hope that helps a little. I am sure others will chime in too. :) Kristin aka breatheandletgo

And I'm a dreamer so I say, go big or go home. 10,000 is totally do-able.

I probably didn't communicate it clearly, but I agree we need a huge number to create an impact and not go public until that goal number feels right. I'm with ya. No one steps out alone. We all step together and give a big middle finger to herpes shame...strength in numbers...darkness to light. Word.

P.S. to say we gather and collect the Herpes Secret pieces and launch it all at once on all of the social media channels with a press release to generate buzz.

Hey everyone, Chiming in here with a random thought. Have you ever heard of the project called Post Secret? Do a google image search and you will see examples, but the project was started by a guy named Frank Warren. If you want to read a quick version of the story google post secret community dot com and go to the FAQ page. Basically he created a way for people to tell secrets they couldn't tell anywhere else. He has published books and gone all over the place sharing the story and giving people a forum to heal. The main site and the one I am referring you to are amazing. I haven't been to one of his events, but it's on my bucket list. :) I'm an artist of sorts and a visual person and believe art is such a healing thing. I think it would be so cool to ask people create something to communicate their Herpes story along the lines of what Post Secret has done. We could set up an Instagram and Twitter feed, as well as Facebook and Pinterest pages to get the word out and direct people back here to share in this community. I'm working...so these are jumbly quick thoughts, but I got kinda excited reading your posts and couldn't help myself! Kristin aka breatheandletgo