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Alaialoy88 last won the day on March 18

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  1. @Zach1, you are very welcome. Glad I could help. : )
  2. Of course, @267Tim Anytime. ; ). I'm going to my doc this week and will be taking the whole STD panel again because I plan to start dating on the other side of the pandemic and want to be ready. It will be a bit of an exposure, but important to do. Always fun waiting for results. Wishing you the best.
  3. You're not alone. I hate waiting for results. But your appointment is just around the corner. Hang in there. You'll be ok. I can almost guarantee you that this doctor was attempting to reassure you by letting you know how common herpes is. Remember, they estimate 8 or 9 out of 10 people have HSV-1, and 1 in 5 or 6 have HSV-2. Just think about how many people that is. Billions worldwide. Because of that, doctors can sometimes seem insensitive when diagnosing HSV. For many of them, a positive HSV test result elicits little more than a yawn and "I can prescribe Valtrex if you're getting breakouts." I remember my own doctor going, "your bloodwork is great...liver fine...kidney fine...positive for HSV..." I was like, "what???" He completely glossed over it. You know why? He didn't think it was a big deal. He sees it all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. BTW, you are a total rockstar for being sensitive and thoughtful enough to contact your ex. But you can only control your actions, not her response. Disclosures like this can trigger different emotions in people. She was likely feeling vulnerable, put on the spot, and maybe even a little guilty. You did the right thing by telling her and you did it well. Be proud of yourself. You may not have HSV-1, but even if you do, there are so many people who will date you, be intimate with you, and yes, marry you. I know that from experience. It's a fallacy to think we can go through life remaining perfect and unblemished. It's impossible. We can only do our best to remain resilient when challenges come our way. The fact that you reached out in the face of this challenge shows how resilient you are.
  4. Full disclosure, I also had a low-positive result. In my case, it was for HSV-1 and HSV-2. I haven't had an oral cold sore since I was a child, but could remember having one, so wasn't at all surprised (or bothered) by the positive HSV-1 result. The low positive HSV-2 result surprised me but I figured I had been exposed at some point. Since that result I have disclosed my positive status before getting physically intimate with someone. It's been fine. Recently, I thought about getting retested because of the low reading. You may not have HSV-1, but even if you do (again, the test isn't 100% accurate) it's not a big deal. Your doctor will tell you the VAST majority of people have been exposed to HSV-1 and 1 in 5 or 6 have been exposed to HSV-2. That means most of the world has herpes in one form or another. The virus has been with humans and animals forever. Very common. You've clearly been very responsible in getting regular tests but you may not get absolute certainty unless you get a cold sore. Talk to your doctor, listen to their guidance and continue educating yourself. You're doing great.
  5. Take it one step at a time. Have you retested as your doctor suggested? The IG test for HSV is not always perfect.
  6. Thank you for sharing these stories. The truth is, some people will not be phased at all when we disclose having HSV and some will. I had a long-term relationship where I responsibly disclosed results of a HSV-2 blood test (low positive) at the beginning of the relationship and they were perfectly ok with it. We were careful, and enjoyed a long and rewarding relationship. On another occasion, I was growing incredibly close to someone but found out during a casual conversation that they had absolutely no interest in dating someone with HSV. While I was initially hurt by their statement, I decided right then and there that they were not right for me and I would just remain friends with them. It's easy to feel stigma about HSV but I am 100% confident (most of the time) I will find the right person someday and HSV won't keep us apart. I didn't come to that conclusion in a day or even a year. It takes time. It's important to remember that so many people have HSV (talk to a doctor about it and they'll say pretty much everyone has it) and still more people are totally up for dating, marrying and loving someone with HSV. We'll get there. Don't give up. Honestly, most of our anxiety comes from not knowing how we will respond to situations, but when we find out we are in fact, resilient, it's liberating. And there are so many people willing to enter loving relationships where there are some unknowns. Life is not certain. Love is not certain. That's what it is to be human. Herpes doesn't change who you are. Don't lose your sense of play, your love of life. The right person is out there and they'll love all of you. FYI, you don't have to believe this every day to know that it's true.
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