Elysium17,
You are not unique as I feel as I am in your situation. However, my condition has been for almost 20 years. I forget the exact timeline of all my pain but like you I see a visual indication of this problem and have consistent nerve pain in my legs, genital soreness.
I am going to add that I have never been diagnosed, but I know I was infected as my situation is unique which is pointless to discuss here. All 3 approved antiviral drugs had no effect on me.
My post is not to depress you but highlight that what you are being told by doctors, that it is in your mind, isn't necessarily correct. It is your body and you understand what is going on.
I have had a relatively good past 10 years, and my life was back to normal, HSV was in the back of my mind all the time but I wasn't in pain. I have had continual symptoms since January and hence looking for help again, which for me is to get closure and a positive diagnosis.
Hang in there.. life will get better,