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Everything posted by DeMar

  1. SO funny. I have thought the exact same thing. and I did find something online that matches what you describe. Sorry I don't have the link. I recently spoke to Terri Warren on an online HSV2 Q&A and I asked about specific area of genital HSV2 on a man, bearing in mind there is a singular nerve grouping that covers the groin and down the back of the legs. I asked if I needed to cover that entire area and she said no because hte skin on the back of hte legs was too thick.... SO I asked if I were to wear a condom and boxershorts/underwear (assuming everything worked properly) that would mean I was 100% protected (from passing it to my partner). And she say, pretty much, yeah. So there is hope. But I would like something more specific, like a drawing or model to show where EXACTLY are the pints of danger.
  2. Hi Ebelskiver, I'm just following up on this as I digest your advice. Re the 1% chance of transmission. Another factor in my case is I have not knowingly had an outbreak ever. And I know for certain I have never had lesions. I heard a Terri Warren interview where she said the only indicator of shedding frequency is outbreak frequency. SO I would take that to imply my shedding frequency would be a lot lower than 1%... But how much lower? I know there are no concrete answers, but what are your thoughts?
  3. Thanks both. I'd already bought it before your replies and I expect you're right. It does have lysine in it which can help (anecdotally anyway). It wasn't too expensive so I will see what happens and report back if there is any change.
  4. I read recently that the Pfizer vaccine can in very rare cases cause Shingles, which is a type of herpes. I haven't read it can cause hsv1 or 2. Take care.
  5. Hi, I've been doing a lot of reading recently and have found some hopeful stuff. In teh advent of the Covid vaccines, this has been a boost to HSV vaccine development. My main hope is in the mRNA vaccines. But again it is only hope. Nothing definite. There is a human trial aimed for early 2022 after positive results from mice and (I think) hamsters or gerbels. Does anyone know, assuming all goes well, how long the process would be between stage 1 trials and commercial release. Covid vaccines were very fast with an advantage of a huge pool or trial candidates and massive investment. But I read one of the knock on affects of this was a faster process for other vaccines now. Things have definitely changed post covid and at least in one way, for the better. Has anyone else read this, or been following this stuff. Anyone more educated than me got any considered opinions/projections on time frames? Thanks as ever.
  6. Hi, Has anyone heard of or experienced the treatment by Synergy Pharmaceuticals? I admit I am sceptical but I have decided to take a punt in case it works for me. I'll report back and admittedly I'm not confident, but remotely hopeful in a, "well, you never know" kind of way. I an unsymptomatic so my main motivation is to protect my partner. Has anyone tried this? Can anyone report back? Thanks
  7. Thanks Ebelskiver. I've never had any outbreaks and don't know how old my infection is. Somewhere between 1 and 30 years ago. This virus, and all the uncertainty is emotionally exhausting. Thanks for the cockring tip. Anything I can do that helps is good.
  8. Hi all, SO it's been a rollercoaster few months. I'll skip the details but feel free to ask if it's relevant. I am male, have HSV2, and my partner, female, doesn't. She thought she had, had terrible comparable symptoms etc, but has had another test and is now negative. Although more terrified than ever. Years ago, she had something happen which damaged her pituitary nerve and is now immuno compromised. Because of this her doctors have told her that if we are together she will more than likely catch hsv2 and that her symptoms will be extreme and she'll have more outbreaks. SO I have 2 questions. I'm trying to educate myself and get as full an understanding as much as possible. 1. I listened to a podcast about managing HSV2 in a relationship and the expert said some figures, which if I understood correctly was that: Non symptomatic HSV2 man to Non HSV2 woman: 10% chance of transmission over a year (does that mean sex every day?). Reduced by 90% if condom is worn (so would that be 90% from 10% so basically 1%? (excuse my maths if wrong)) Further reduced by 50% with antivirals (so a final figure of a 0.5% chance of passing it on if I use a condom and antivirals) Is that all correct? Has anyone see or have reference to those figures? 2. Worse case scenario: What are the worst symptoms? How painful is it? What is the most frequent any one has had? I do want to see a sexual health specialist together if we get that far, as well as an immunilogical expert (whatever they are called). Thanks. And I appreciate any sharing of stories.
  9. Hi, I"ve got to ask. What does 1.12 mean? I had a look at my serology test and all it says is HSV2 IgG Detected. Thanks
  10. Sorry to hear how it turned out but glad to her the way you deal with it. Very healthy :-D
  11. Hi, I recently got diagnosed with hsv through a blood test. I did the test to confirm I had no STIs before starting a sexual relationship with my partner and was shocked when it came back positive. I have had 2 sexual partners in the last 20 years (apart from my new partner), a one night stand a year ago, and my ex wife. I have not had any symptoms or outbreaks, although I had a red abrasion which I thought nothing of about4 months after my one night stand, whch my new partner thought might have been a sign of hsv. Anyway, I am aware that the contagiousness of hsv reduces over time, so it is very significant to me whether I got infected a year ago or upto 30 years ago. So... Without leisions or any symptoms, is there any way to tell when I was infected. Or, more importantly, is there any way to know how contagious I might be. My partner has had terrible symptoms which have not been 100% identified as hsv. So if there is anything I can do to reduce the chances of passing it on, of course, I want to do it. I can wear a condom, I'm trying to get antivirals (my gp refused them to me innitially so I'm going to see a specialist) and I'll do anything else to protect my SO. Any help would be greaty appreciated. Thanks.
  12. Hi, No, she had the onset of symptoms about 3 weeks after being with me, about 6 weeks ago. SHe hadn't been doing any travelling and don't know if anyone around her might have had mono (including me) but it's possible. I'm going to see if I can get a test. God I hope I haven't given her that too. Thanks Grace.
  13. Thank you again Grace. I appreciate your knowledge, whether you're a doctor or not. I will point my GF towards those sites and have a look myself. She has another test coming up for hsv2 when it will have been three months. She hasn't had pain urinating but has had pain in the throat, especially at the beginning. Sore and burning and had trouble swallowing. She has sore legs, back, lungs ears and lymph nodes. She gets mucous (after morning coffee) a runny nose and is run down because she is sleeping so badly due to this and the stress and anxiety it is causing. It feels like things are compounding. Also, she has pins and needles or tingling in her hips, finger tips and lower spine. Her inner thighs ache and she has a very red sore vagina. No blisters, no fever. But she is stressed and depressed as you can imagine with this going on so long. She did see a doctor a month ago or so. I've lost track of time. And the doctor had a look but saw no signs of any blisters. She has an appointment next week. We both had tests for STIs before we were together and everything was clear except the hsv2 for me and hsv1 for her from when she was a kid. Neither of us had had any sexual partners for at least year. MY hsv2 positive test was a shock. In the last 20 years I'd been with 2 women. 1 one night stand (with a condom) and my ex wife. Prior to that I'd had a few sexual partners. But I'd never had symptoms to my knowledge. I know it's possible I got it form the one night stand but I didn't have any outbreak, never had any symptoms before that and neither did my ex, that she told me of. My best guess is I got it before that and this is a very old infection, but I really don't know and don't know the value of speculating. The main thing is I think it's safe to rule out any other STIs because we were both checked right before we were together. I haven't experienced any symptoms or changes since intercourse. I wish I had or I wish I could take the pain for myself and leave her free. I'm very worried for her. The pain is awful and so is the stress. Thanks again Grace.
  14. Thank you Floweteacher for your reply. Firstly I should say this is not me. I am asking for my partner. She is going through a terrible time. I will try and answer your questions as best I can. I have tested positive for HSV2 through a blood test. I have never had any symptoms to my knowledge. About 3 weeks after being intimate with my girlfriend, she started to develop these symptoms. So the timing seems pertinent. After about 3 weeks of increasingly severe symptoms she went to teh doctor who gave her anitvirals. They seemed to help but she suffered extreme dehydration and thirst so stopped taking them. Her symptoms were extreme but she had no lesions. So her doctor doubted she had HSV. She had a blood test and a scrape test (but no lesions) both of which came back negative. But these tests were within 2 months of sexual contact with me so not enough time to be accurate? So this was her first outbreak and it hasn't stopped. It reduced for a while but has flared up. ALso, she is perimeopausal so her periods had stopped a few months before this. She has been to the doctor about the lymph nodes and all teh symptoms but nothing conclusive has happened. This would drive me wild and from afar ( we are an interstate couple) it frustrates me and I want to go and get things happening but I can't help from here. Thanks for the information about treatment. Interesting what you said is the opposite of what she had read. But I'm not sure where she had read it. I am trying to support her all I can but it is very hard from over here and she is in so much pain and discomfort. I don't know what else I can do. I will tell ehr what you told me. Thank you.
  15. Can anyone who has had an outbreak that persists well over 2 months advise me please? Or anyone? Intense pain, sore lymph nodes, tingling fingers.... no lesions though. No let up, no reprise. Is it possible that taking medication can actually slow down this virus and make an outbreak last longer and drag the pain out? Should medication be stopped during an outbreak to let it pass and then resumed once the outbreak has finished? By medication I am talking about Lycine, Vit C, Olive Leaf Extract etc
  16. I am so worried about here. W live on opposite parts of the country so I can't be with her, can't help here. SHe doesn't want me there either otherwise I would fly out. She is freaking out. She may have to have an operation the will require medication that will clash with antivirals and I feel she is in panic mode really badly. I don't know what I can do to helpt. She won't take my calls. I don't know what I could say anyway. She sends me occasional texts where it's like she explodes with panic about how her life is going to be now. She doesn't see the possibilty of a normal life that so many people with herpes have as she is in total reaction mode right now. She feels she cannot share this with anyone in her friends or family. It is so difficult for her. The only person she can talk to at all is me and she can't face me right now. We spoke last night and then she saw her doctor today. I thought things would get better but they have got worse. I'm really worried. I don't know what to do.
  17. Thanks Distressed Lady, We texted more last night and she told me more about what she is going through, and it is awful. Herpes was so different for me, I didn't even notice I had it! Yet she is going through huge pain, swollen lymph nodes, pain in her groin, arm pit, tonsils, under her neck, and the pain in her groin is so intense. Added to that she is feeling very very low about herself, she is angry at herself, and at the world, and she is having trouble seeing a future quality of life. She can't contemplate any future love life or sex life right now although she says she still loves me, but the thought of sex now makes her feel sick and terrified. And so she wants to end it, and continue her life on her own, forever single. I am heartbroken yet I cannot believe this is hte end of it... although I know it may well be. For now we are still in touch and I care immensly for her and will do anything I can to support her, even if it means ending our relationship. I still feel everything is too fraught right now and uncertain. And I feel awful but I can't give up on us until I know for certain it is over.
  18. Thanks Distressed Lady and Flowerteacher for your very kind and supportive words. I heard from her last night. She is in intense pain from the herpes and has a couple of other major things that make it worse, one pituitary related. So she does blame herself for allowing this to happen to her and she is angry at life too. At the moment she feels like she can never have a love life. She is very very low right now. Once she gets through this I don't know if we'll still be together. It's not about me right now. She suffers from anxiety and right now her stress is through the roof. It is awful what she is going through and she feels very much alone. She doesn't feel she can talk to anyone... the sigma. She has decided to see her doctor although it has taken a week feeling too embarrassed. Please don't judge her, we all come from different backgrounds and although I think it's crazy to be so embarrassed to stop you seeing the doctor when you're in pain, I can understand it too. What is the best way I can support her from the other side of the country? I don't think she would be up for a visit right now. I don't think she could handle the stress.
  19. OMG I am in almost the exact situation. I was in a LDR for a year and we were a week out from meeting for the first time when I got diagnosed as HSV2. I had no idea and suddenly it was all over. My SO is immuno-compromised so the danger to her was heightened. I thought it was over but she said she still wanted to meet and when we did it was amazing. We were crazy for each other before, had told each other we loved each other and when we met in person everything felt so natural and happy adn it was an amazing 2 weeks. We ended up having unprotected sex after condom trouble and a few days of resisting. She said she was all in. And when I left I was so happy. We both were. Then 3 weeks later and it looks like she has caught it. And it's hit when she has some other stuff going on too. LAst week she told me she needed space and was going to disappear for a bit. And she has. I've onyl had a couple of texts from her adn they have been brief, cold even. I know she is going through a really hard time but I am pushed outside. I feel helpless and scared as I thought this was the relationship I would be in for the rest of my life. SHe said she doesn't blame me but I think she hates me now. I"m terrified to lose her. I hate to think of her in pain, or scared, or shamed. I don't know what to do or if it is too late. Distressed Lady, I hope your man comes to terms with what he has, that it isn't the end of the world and realizes what he has with you is worth saving. Good luck.
  20. Hi, Thanks for the reply. I know what you mean and maybe you are right. But, it isn't that she is judging me. It is that she can't cope with the thought of catching it from me, because she has a weakened immune system. I think she also feels the stigma of it more than most. What bothers me is that she did seem to give up quickly. For me, I wanted to talk to experts in STIs and the Endochrine system and get some accurate information. But her doctor told her that because of her weakend immune system, she would probable get it from me and probably get outbreaks. (I haven't had any ever - which is why I'm so baffled). Anyway, I guess I was hoping this was a kneejerk reaction and that after a few days she'd think, hey maybe it won't be so bad for the love of my life. If the situation was reversed I would jump in a bath of herpes soup to keep her.
  21. Great question. One I can 't answer. I am in the almost exact opposite situation. I have never been aware of having had any symptoms. I had tingling at eh end of my penis but assumed it was just maybe a UTI or something like that. Then out of the blue I tested positive to HSV2. Last time I had sex was over a year ago and I used a condom (not full protection as I've now learned) an before that I was married for nearly 20 years, so I could have been carrying this for over 20 years. But I am dumbfounded that I've tested posative. And angry, as it has cost me my new relationship which has been going on a year and we got tested before we started having sex. It's not the sex I mourn, it's hte relationship because we were both so in love but my SO has a immunilogical deficiency (Traumaed pituitary gland) and cannot risk catching it (which she almost certainly would eventually). Sorry, I'm broken.
  22. Hi, I am just trying to gauge the typical reaction. I have been in an online relationship for a year and we haven't met yet due to covid but we were about to meet this week until I got my HSV2 positive result on Thursday. I told my SO on thursday and it's been a very stressful few days for us both. She got a test also and will get the result on Tuesday but has said today that if she gets a negative result, it is bad news for us, that she wants me to cancel my flights and wants us to split. She loves me but she has to take care of her health. So I am wondering has anyone had an experience with this kind of response, only for their SO to change their mind after a few days when the spin out settles? I am devastated right now as I have never loved anyone like my SO and now it looks like it's over. (I expect her to get a negative result)
  23. Thank you. I hope you and your SO can work it out. I assume he didn't know he had it. Unfortunately for me I think it is too much for my SO and she wants to break up. I am crushed. I don't know if this is a typical knee jerk reaction and she needs time or if it is over. I am feeling devastated right now.
  24. Hi, New here. I'll try and be succinct. I have been in a Long distance relationship for about a year. I've never had a connection like this and this week were are to meet for the first time. Before meeting we decided to get (sexual) health checks. Everything came back clean as expected but the herpes test was skipped. I had to go back to my GP and push for the serology test. My test came back positive for HSV2 but negative for HSV1. I was really suprised. I was certain I had had col sores as a kid although I couldn't be certain, and I had never noticed any symptoms for any STI so thought I should be negative to HSV2. I have only had 2 sexual partners in the last 20 years, 1 my now ex wife and a 1 night stand just over a year ago. I used a condom, in fact I've always used condoms. I thought this was "safe sex. I didn't realise. Either way I thought I should be very low risk so asked for a retest (results next week). Assuming the positive result is correct, I understand the standard practical and health implications for myself and can accept those. The problem, the reason this is devastating, is that my partner, who is the love of my life, has immunological issues which make this a much bigger deal for her. I will go into that in another thread as I think this is just an into place? But in short, I am devastated. Right now I expected to be floating on cloud nine, excited for spending time with my SO, starting our life together. I can't explain how crazy am for this woman and I'm nearly 50 so I've been around the block. Instead everything is unraveling before my flight next week. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I expect anyone else to say. I'm going out for a walk to get air and sunlight. I feel like my whole life has been ripped out from inside of me. I will come back with more specific questions but right now I am only pain. Thanks for listening, D
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