Flowerteacher55

Hi! Yes, there are so many resources that can help! You can contact social services in your area and they can connect you with enrolling in the resources Alli mentioned. Also, when your child becomes of school age, the child's school can provide assistance with services as well. You are a mama bear and you are strong, independent, and a warrior. You are smarter than you know and stronger than you know. As Bob Marley said, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ❤️ Do you have any friends to support you? Another great resource is a women's shelter or center, as they can guide you to places for support and help you with finding childcare if needed. What's important is that you and your child are safe physically and emotionally. Are you going to stay in your home or will you ask him to leave? Can you stay with a friend or a relative? If you need legal advice (who owns the house, bank accounts, etc) I would talk to the women's shelter because they help women in difficult situations leave those who are not treating them right or abusing them. Making sure you have access to money, credit card(s), and important documents in your own accounts/in your possession are all essential to your independence. You can do this! ❤️ We are supporting you every step of the way. I am praying for you! ❤️

Hello! As someone with OCD and obsessive health tendencies, I completely understand your anxiety. I am so sorry you carry that burden; I know how exhausting it is mentally and eotionally. Rest assured that you are okay and everything is okay. You are safe. ❤️ It sounds like it could be one of many things, however more likely a flu or an upper respiratory infection. Have you had any other symptoms, and have your symptoms improved or worsened at all since you've posted this? Are you going to see a doctor? Also, when you look down your throat, do you see any spots or marks in the back of your throat? That would indicate an upper respiratory infection (strep throat, pharyngitis, tonsillitis, laryngitis, etc) which are very common and usually treated with antibiotics. Alli mentioned mono, which is very very contagious and often passed through kissing. Mono also usually involved being exhausted and wanting to sleep a lot. Regardless, head to the doctor and make sure you do not have something serious, such as COVID. And, if you have an at-home COVID test, try taking that, too! All is well and you are safe. ❤️ Stay kind to yourself! 🙂 Sending happy and calming blessings and prayers your way! ❤️🙂 !!! grace

Hello, I am so sorry you've felt alone. Please know that things can and will get better. Your dating life is NOT over and it doesn't mean you only are limited to dating people with H! By no means is this a dating site (lol!) but of course we talk about intimacy and relationships on here often. Life is tough but we are tougher, and we are all here to lift one another up and support each other overcome our struggles. Remember that our biggest barrier to overcome is how we feel about ourselves. Once we have confidence and acceptance and self-love, we are unbreakable. Stay strong and be kind to yourself! 🙂 You are worthy of love, from yourself and from others! ❤️ Blessings, grace

@yeahbuddy of course! reach out anytime

Hello! This is a great question. It is great that you are playing it safe until you know an answer; that shows respect towards him and respect towards your own body, too! Is the tingling more of an internal feeling or is it on the skin? Does it feel neurological or more dermatological? It's possible that the tingling is a lingering feeling from the previous outbreak as the nerves are still inflamed or your skin is still irritated. How long ago was your outbreak, and how long did it last? How long has it been since the sore was completely gone? Regarding transmission, it is less likely to pass GHSV-1 than GHSV-2, and even less likely to pass this from female to male (because of anatomy). Studies from the 1990s have shown HSV-2 can help prevent getting HSV-1 (see https://academic.oup.com/jid/article/185/8/1019/814003 and click the numbers at the end of the quote to see the sources/studies). However, it is still possible to contract both types in the same region. I hope this helps! I would reach out to your doctor to double check everything is okay before engaging in sex. 🙂 Blessings, grace

Hello @MaddieLynn, I am so sorry that you have been through this whirlwind of emotions and stress. Please know you are not alone and this is not your fault. The way others treat you is a reflection of them, not of you. I am sorry your husband was unfaithful. You, nor your child, deserved that. Right now, focus on you and your mental and physical health and well-being. How are your symptoms? Have they subsided since last Wednesday? Be kind to yourself and let the emotions flow. You are probably feeling so many feelings right now, so take the time to process them and let them out, whether it's crying or taking a really long shower, or listening to music or taking a nap with your child. I am praying for you! ❤️ You will make it through this. Blessings, grace

Hi @AlliKat12! Aw, that is so nice to hear! Yes, working with children is hectic but so rewarding! ❤️

Hi! 1. It's such a shame the doctor didn't swab the sores. If your wife has another outbreak, the sores can be swabbed if she gets them swabbed within about 48 hours of the sores appearing. The swab tests can be inaccurate because human error can cause false negatives (not swabbing enough of the viral DNA or not swabbing the sore correctly, etc). An IGG antibody blood test can also help determine the strain, although blood tests can be wonky sometimes and produce false negative/positive results. 2. This is a great question. I also had internal sores during my first outbreak, but my later outbreaks were external sores only. For some, the friction and irritation of penetrative sex may trigger an outbreak inside the vaginal/anal cavity, however for others they may not get outbreaks there. Regarding your question about how outbreaks occur, that's an interesting question! It is my understanding that an outbreak wouldn't happen if someone with the same strain of HSV would get an outbreak just by touching an active sore on another person. I mean intense contact with a sore could potentially cause an outbreak on the other person and reinfection in new locations, but your body has built up some immunity if you already have the same strain. For example, let's say you and your partner have genital HSV-2. That doesn't mean you couldn't get it in another part of your body such as your mouth. This is why refraining from certain sexual acts is important when an outbreak is suspected to occur or is occurring. Is it possible to contract it elsewhere? Yes, just not as likely as if you didn't have the same strain somewhere else. 3. In general it is best to wait a full week of being symptom free, or having 7-8 days of no symptoms after your sores fully heal. I hope this helps! Blessings to you and your wife! 🙂

Hello, These are great questions. It is so great that you and your wife are a team and are working through this as a team! To answer your questions... 1. When she was diagnosed, did the doctor just do a visual inspection of an outbreak, was it a blood test, etc? It is possible she got it from oral sex. It is possible you already had cold sores/oral HSV and passed it to her when you were virally shedding. Or, your theory is hypothetically possible. 2. You could get it down there via genital to genital sex, however depending on the strain she has, it may be very unlikely. GHSV-1 has very low genital-to-genital transmission rates. Furthermore, supressive medication and avoiding sex when sylptoms or an outbreak are present all help reduce the risk of transmission. Also, there are some people who are together for years and never pass it to their partner! Many factors influence transmission, timing being one of them! 3. It honestly depends on the strain she has and the strain you have. If you already have oral HSV that is the same strain she has genitally, it isn't really a big deal. If it is a different strain that is a different story. Plenty of people with H or those with H+ partners still live happy and fulfilling sex lives, including practicing oral sex! If you are concerned, dental dams, suppressive medication, and avoiding oral sex when symptoms of an outbreak arise are all great preventative measures. Of course, the risk is always there. All is well though! 🦋 4. The first outbreak is typically the worst. As time passes, for many folks, outbreaks become less severe and less frequent. Many people with H give birth to health happy babies. Check out the other posts on the forum related to childrearing and pregnancy! I hope this helps. Stay strong! Aending blessings and prayers to you and your wife 🌻🦋 kindly, grace

Hello, I'm sorry you experienced that pain and struggle and still experience this. I do believe that there is so much more to life than herpes. I know it has impacted so many areas of your life, but I don't think it means life is meaningless and the only cure will be the last breath of life. Life is what we make it... And I'm not saying it's easy! I'm saying it's worth it 🌻🦋💛 and you're worth it!! 💛🦋🌻 !!! If you need anything I am here for you. Don't let the cynicism and corruption and other things in this world drag you down. Sending prayers and blessings your way! 🦋💛🌻 grace

@Fatladysangnocure Hello, I hope you are well. I am sorry that herpes has caused you trauma. I want to personally let you know that there are many people who do not automatically cling to the stigmas surrounding herpes; in fact many of the people I have disclosed to were unphased by it. Some people even were well-versed on it, acknowledging that it's a common virus and they know people with it or they have cold sores themselves, etc. Please know that there are understanding humans out there, and the world is so much broader than our own experiences. If others have been unkind to you, I am so sorry. You did not deserve that. Please know that it isn't your fault and you are not alone. You are worthy of love and kindness, not just from others, but from yourself, too. Herpes is not a death sentence. If anything, it is something that shifts our perspective to see the world and others in a more empathetic and holistic light. I am much more caring of my body now than I once was. I have had to overcome the guilt and shame and suffering and it has made me stronger. I do not wish the struggles upon others of course, but for those who have this Cross to bear, I believe it is for a reason, and we can overcome it. If you are angry at the world or at yourself, please forgive the world and yourself. Forgiveness sets you free. And you are deserving of forgiveness. ❤️ I am here for you if you need to talk. Stay kind to yourself and others! Blessings, grace

Hi, Friends! I hope everyone is well and are being kind to themselves and to others ❤️ I want to apologize for my lack of activity on the forum; I started my first teaching job and it is hectic! I have been catching up on posts. As a reminder to friends: please be kind and compassionate on the forum. We all are blessed with the ability to empathize with one another, so let us use that tool to lift each other up. @AlliKat12, thank you SO much for your kind support and advice on the forum these past few weeks! Your attention to the needs of others is so kind and appreciated. I hope you are doing well ❤️ Thank you for your devotion to supporting others on the site; you are SO appreciated and needed! 🙂 Stay kind to each other and stay kind to yourself. You are not alone and there is hope for us all 🌻🙂❤️ Blessings, grace

Hi! I hoenstly have only had a few outbreaks and things got better for me the further time has passed. I have has GHSV-1 since I was 19 (I am now 23). Keep the faith and be kind to yourself ❤️ It will get better and it will be okay! You are worthy of love and you CAN have a happy and healthy sex life, regardless of H! 🙂 Kindly, grace

Hi! Great questions. There are benefits to taking suppressive medication, especially if you have painful reoccurring outbreaks and it prevents you from living a happy pain-free life. If you have nerve issues or symptoms that linger, taking suppressive medication can also help. The only negative I can think of is paying extra money for the extra medication, but your health is worth the money! 🙂 Also, if money is an issue, ask your doctor to write a multi-month prescription so it's just one copay for multiple months. In terms of taking the medication before becoming active, I am unsure of how soon you should start taking it. For those who do not take daily suppressives, they only take the medication when they feel an outbreak occurring/is occurring, and then after that they wait until they are a full week symptom-free. If you aren't experiencing symptoms, perhaps a week of taking the suppressive medication or maybe two weeks prior would help put your mind at ease. You should talk to your doctor about it, I am honestly unsure! In regards to oral sex, suppressive medication is helpful, and oral mouth guards or condoms are protective barriers as well. If you are concerned but are worried it might not be as "fun", try flavored condoms or dental dams. People with H still can live happy and healthy sex lives! 🙂 I hope this helps! Blessings, grace

Hi! Sorry for the delayed reply. This is a great question. Definitely disclose that you have HSV. Just as it is not shameful to talk about sex and your desires, it is not shameful to disclose sexual health things. Open communication is honest and respectful. When you talk to them about it (definitely before sex occurs, and not in the heat of the moment) take that as a moment to ask them about their sexual health as well to protect yourself and encourage open dialogue. I hope this helps! 🙂 Blessings, Grace

Hi! I just saw this now, I am so sorry! It seems like it says it's positive for IgG antibodies for other antibodies (IgM) it says negative, which makes sense. I think this record means you did test positive, but I am not a doctor! Kindly, grace

Hello! This looks like it could be an oral cold sore. When you were told you have HSV-2, was it from a blood test? It is possible that you have Oral HSV-2; you could get the sore swabbed next time it appears and see if it comes back as type 1 or type 2. I hope this helps! ❤️ Stay strong! 🙂 Blessings, grace

Hello, I am so sorry that you are experiencing this struggle and that you are not getting answers from medical professionals. It sounds frustrating and I am so sorry about this. It seems like it could be from the HSV, or perhaps it is neurologically-linked. Have you seen a neurologist? Also, maybe cutting out alcohol would help-- It's worth a try! I am praying for you! Stay strong and be kind to yourself. Keep your head held high and stay positive. You are a warrior. Everything will be okay ❤️ ! Blessings! grace

Hello, I'm sorry that you feel this way. Please know that comparisons are hurtful to ourselves and aren't based on any truths ... She is with YOU now! Whomever she was with previously is irrelevant. Intimacy with one another is special and meaningful because it's about the person, not about what exactly is being done. Be kind to yourself and remember to connect, not compare. ❤️ Blessings! Grace

Hello! I am so sorry that you experienced this. Please know that the way someone reacts to you is a reflection of them, not of you! You are beautiful and wonderful and worthy of love and respect and acceptance. He may need some time to think and research. If you are still in contact with him, you can always provide him with a resource or link to reliable information, or you can even just ask him if he has any questions. Regardless, please know the right person will be accepting of H, and see that H is a very very small part of you that is in no way a reflection of who you are as a person. It's a common virus and that's all- it doesn't have the power to label you! Stay strong and be kind to yourself. You are a warrior and the right person is out there for you ❤️ I am praying for you! ❤️ Blessings, grace

Hello! First off, Dr. Google IS A QUACK and should have its medical licence revoked... lol! But seriously, our ability to research is awesome! But... it comes with a warning and of course we really have no way to check if people who are legit doctors are writing the information we are reading. When in doubt, check out the ASHA, the CDC, the WHO, and this site (yay!). ❤️ I am so happy you found this site and take comfort in the knowledge it provides! To answer your questions: Oral HSV-1 and Genital HSV-1 are the same strain of the virus but in different locations of the body. You can have HSV-1 in either or both areas! It sounds like you contracted HSV from receiving oral sex from someone who had an active cold sore. This is extremely common and this is why genital HSV-1 is growing in numbers, especially among young people. It seems like you only have genital HSV-1, since you are symptomatic (you get symptoms) and the symptoms were only associated with the genital region. I think you would still be able to kiss others without having to disclose. If you notice symptoms in that region, then that is a little different. You can still recieve oral sex with GHSV-1 but just disclose to your partner. You can also give oral sex as long as you are not experiencing any symptoms. I hope this helps! ❤️ Stay positive and be kind to yourself 🙂 Blessings, grace

Hello! This is a good question. I honestly am not sure if increasing a dose of Valtrex would reduce the risk any more than if you just took the regular dose. Also, taking too much Valtrex can possibly cause adverse side effects, too! If you are worried, you can always use protection. When used together, antivirals and condoms can significantly help reduce the risk of transmission! 🙂 Can anyone else help with this question? Thanks! ❤️ Blessings! 🙂

Hi! I just take Zoloft. I also take birth control to help regulate my emotions (I have PMDD). Tapping really is wonderful! ❤️ It has helped me immensely. Stay strong! I am praying for you ❤️ Blessings! 🙂

@Birdsandbutterflies Hello! I'm happy to hear you are feeling better. I also have anxiety and I have OCD and I take Zoloft (an SSRI) which helps me so I am calm enough to function so I can get through therapy and relaxation techniques. Something that I love is tapping! Check out Brad Yates on YouTube 🥰. Sending blessings and prayers your way!! ❤️ grace

Hi! I am so sorry that this happened! It sounds like the Abreva dried out your lip skin, and it may take a little while to heal. Here is the FAQs for Abreva. It actually says not to get a large amount in your mouth and to contact your health care professional if you do! So, maybe contacting your doctor or dermatologist would be a good idea. https://www.abreva.com/faq/how-to-use-abreva/#accordion-content-0763626683-11 Feel better!!! ❤️ grace