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Flowerteacher55

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Everything posted by Flowerteacher55

  1. Hi! Yes, remember the Three C's: You didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it. β˜€οΈπŸ’› Blessings!! πŸ•ŠοΈβ˜€οΈ
  2. Hi, First, know you are not dirty. You are not unwanted. You are not unlovable. I'm so sorry about this. Please know it's not your fault. You cannot control how someone responds to you. The way people treat you is a reflection of THEM not of you. I think it's great that you were honest with him when talking about STIs, however the fact that he wanted to talk about the before the first date indicates he was planning on being intimate. I mean... A first date is usually sex free because the people are trying to get to know each other before they are physically vulnerable with each other. If you were trying to connect with him emotionally before getting physical, it seems he was on a different page. I think he showed his true colors and you have truly learned so much about him. So, this has saved you time and energy ❀️! I know that things suck right now and you hate herpes. We've all felt that way. Remember it's not your fault, and that HSV can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. Be kind to yourself! We are here if you need to vent 😊 Sending blessings and prayers your way! β˜€οΈπŸ’› grace
  3. Hi! Sometimes blood tests come back negative, so maybe another test would be helpful! Do the welts look like hives? Or are they more like blisters? It could be an autoimmune response, maybe even to the HSV.
  4. Hello! Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry for the struggles you've gone through. Please know that there is hope and we are here for you! ❀️ It is terrible that you've been dealing with these symptoms since the Winter of 2020. You deserve answers and support, and I am so sorry that the doctors you've seen haven't been testing or anything for HSV. It's honestly surprising they didn't even give you antivirals to see if they would help clear anything up. When you first noticed the red bumps, how long did they last? At a PAP smear, they usually are testing for HPV and other types of pre-cervical cancers and STIs. However, they do not test for HSV. Many doctors are against testing for HSV because it is so common, but you are the patient and this is your health, so you should get to decide whether you get an HSV test! I really do not understand why they didn't just test you when you requested it originally. The bump inside your anus that released fluid; did they give you any diagnosis or hypothesis as to what it was? You could have HSV 1 or 2, and perhaps something else as well. Have they tried swabbing any of the welts? The welts you are explaining could be some type of inflammatory rash or allergic reaction of sorts. It's great you are seeing a dermatologist, as a dermatologist would best be able to support you at this stage. They could also take a skin sample to see what exactly is going on. Make sure to really advocate for yourself and push for tests to be done. Explain your story and don't take no for an answer! I hope this helps! I am praying for you ❀️ Let us know how it goes on Monday! Blessings, grace
  5. Hi! I'm happy that you have some days to rest and relax ❀️ It's so sweet he brought you flowers! Yes, so many folks on here have mentioned that testing in the UK is difficult. I'm so sorry about that! I'm sorry that it hurts to poo 😞 !! Hopefully that gets better soon ❀️ Rest and be kind to yourself! Everything will be okay! Blessings! ❀️
  6. Hello! Thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone. I am so sorry for all of the stress you've been under! Please know that H doesn't impact who you are and it doesn't change anything about you. You are still a wonderful human being with a very essential job (thank you, essential worker!) and H will never change that ❀️ In regards to your question about the medication, antivirals are honestly a very magical thing. For so many people, they really do help symptoms clear up quickly. When I started taking my antivirals with my first outbreak, I was shocked by how well the medication worked. Healing time depends on many factors, including medicine type, how your body responds to the drug, and the severity of your outbreak, to name a few. I's great that you've already seen some improvement. For me, the symptoms that lasted longest were the sores themselves because of chafing and peeing on them. I had to walk around a lot during my first outbreak because I was in college and worked and had classes to go to, and of course the blisters would stick to my clothes and the clothes would rip off the skin of the blisters πŸ˜‚ lovely, I know. Plus, when urine passed over the sores it burned. For me, the antivirals helped stop new sores from appearing and sped up healing time in general. You will get through this! When you get the results back, you will know if you have type 1 or type 2. Also, your partner should probably get tested at some point. Feel free to reach out with any other questions! Sending blessings and prayers your way! β€οΈπŸ™‚ grace
  7. Hi! Yes definitely. Maybe your immune system was fighting something else off and it couldn't fight off the HSV any longer. Regardless, please know that everything will be okay ❀️ You will get through this! Blessings!!!
  8. Hi! Thanks for the clarification! The BV and the UTIs can definitely also cause the cuts. Bacterial yeast can irritate the skin and cause cuts as well. It is possible that you had both an infection and an outbreak simultaneously, too! Sometimes stress from another illness can trigger an outbreak, or just by chance you happened to have both. Or, this could have been a really prolonged primary outbreak that started with the cuts. Did your OBGYN or Primary offer any hypotheses about that? I hope you are feeling better! πŸ™‚β€οΈ grace
  9. Hi! I hope you are well! Thanks for sharing your story with us. You might be feeling so many emotions right now, but please know that everything is going to be okay ❀️ First, have you ever had an outbreak orally or is this the first time you've even seen an outbreak overall (including oral outbreaks)? Delayed Outbreak: It is possible for herpes to remain dormant inside the body for years and then appear. It is also possible you have had an outbreak before but did not notice them or mistook them for an ingrown hair or something else. Also, the cuts you explained have been explained before on this site! Some people with experience cuts as their outbreaks. This sounds like it could be a primary outbreak, as well. Your future outbreaks (should you have them) shouldn't be this severe. Saliva & GHSV-1: Just because you have genital HSV-1, it does NOT automatically mean you have herpes orally and it doesn't mean it is in your saliva. Safe Intimacy: It is possible that you passed it to your boyfriend, as it seems you may have been virally shedding prior to your outbreak. Has he had any symptoms since? Also, does he ever get cold sores? If so, he has HSV-1 antibodies, which is good and can help possibly lower the risk of him contracting it elsewhere since he has antibodies for it. Contracting GHSV-1 from someone with it is low in general because it is the generally less aggressive strain of HSV. To put things in perspective: The risk of a woman (or person with a vagina) passing HSV-2 to a man (or person with a penis) is about 4%; this risk drops to 2% with the use of condoms OR suppressive medication and drops to 1% with the use of condoms AND suppressive medication. Because Type 1 has lower transmission rates in general, those numbers for GHSV-1 would be even lower! Your Options: You can either use protection (internal or external condoms), suppressive medication, both, or neither; it's really up to you and your partner. Regardless, it's best to avoid intimacy when you have prodrome symptoms (symptoms you feel right before your outbreak like tingling, itching, or perhaps those tiny cuts you explained) and/or when you have open sores. It's best not to continue intimacy until being about 8 days symptom-free πŸ™‚. I have GHSV-1 and I have only had about 3-4 outbreaks. I do not take suppressive medication because my outbreaks are so infrequent. Have you been to an OBGYN to have everything checked out? They may be able to support and explain better about the cuts and the process than a general medical doctor. I hope this helps! Stay strong and be kind to yourself. We are here for you! Reach out if you have any more questions! πŸ™‚β€οΈ Sending blessings and prayers your way! ❀️ grace
  10. @Krometheus Hi, Sorry, I meant do you still have symptoms/how long have they been going on? If they did see scar tissue than it would seem like it was potentially herpes, since it can go inside body cavities such as the urethra, rectum, and vagina, and it can leave skin tender or even with discoloration due to the new skin having to grow (kind of like a scar). Blessings, grace
  11. @Krometheus Okay, thanks for the clarification. That does sound like a primary herpes infection. Have you had those symptoms since? Did they see any scar tissue inside the urethral cavity when they did the procedure? Blessings, grace
  12. Hello @Krometheus, I hope you are well. The inflammation could be from many different things. Have you had any sores or other symptoms? Also I'm going to tag @fonda here to see if they respond!! Blessings to you! β˜€οΈπŸ•ŠοΈπŸ’› grace
  13. Of course! ☘️ Stay strong and be kind to yourself β˜€οΈ
  14. Hi! Okay, thanks for the clarification!! So, it sounds like you don't have HSV-1 orally since you've never had a cold sore or outbreak orally. Because you get symptoms with your GHSV-1, if you had oral HSV-1 you would likely get symptoms of it. But since you've never had any it's more likely you do not have it orally. In terms of testing, blood tests cannot tell you the location of your herpes. If a blood test came back positive for HSV-1, it doesn't tell where that is. This is why your doctor told you that you'd have to be off medicine to see if sores would appear in the oral area. Washing after intimacy is good hygiene and it may help reduce the risk of transmission. However, if you don't have oral HSV-1, there's really no reason to worry! It's so considerate you told him to wash afterwards. You obviously really care about his well-being. Remember that he needs to care that much about you, too! You deserve that πŸ’› Also, hypothetically, yes, you could get oral HSV-1 from kissing him (more likely if he has an active cold sore) but you already have HSV-1 so you already have antibodies for it. In summary, it's possible to get it from him but the risk is pretty low. I hope this helps!! Blessings!! β˜˜οΈβ˜€οΈ
  15. Hi!! This is TOTALLY normal and actually very common!! Many things trigger herpes outbreaks, such as stress, friction, illness, and hormones! When menstruating, your body is releasing different hormones that can trigger outbreaks. Plus, during your period you may feel emotional stress or physical stress (cramps, bloating, nausea, etc) and all that combined can definitely trigger an outbreak. Something that may help is tracking your period so you know when your outbreaks will be so you can prepare for them, and also you'll be able to see at what point in your 28-day cycle the outbreaks occur. Definitely try to reduce emotional stress before and during your period. To help reduce the duration of the outbreak, you can try lysine cream. To help with neurological pain symptoms, try heat packs, or ice packs. I'd also avoid foods that are high in salt or sugar (although that's what we crave during our periods!) since they can lead to mood swings, tummy issues, and bloating. Stay hydrated as well. I don't know if this would help you, but maybe going on birth control to regulate your hormones would help. Perhaps asking your gynecologist about this would be helpful! I am on birth control to regulate my PMDD/extreme emotional issues right before my period. It isn't completely better but definitely better than it was! I hope this helps! Sending blessings your way!! πŸ’β˜€οΈ grace
  16. Hello, Wait! If you've never had cold sores orally, then you are perfectly safe! ❀️ You only gave him oral, correct? And you only used saliva? If so, you are perfectly fine ❀️ Apologize to him, forgive yourself, and learn from the situation. I understand that it's hard to face rejection and pain. You made a mistake and learned from it. Just apologize and don't make the same mistake again. That's all we can do! You can get through this and so can he! We are here for you. grace
  17. Hello! Great question! You both should be safe preforming oral sex on one another since you both have antibodies. If you happen to have an outbreak or are experiencing prodrome symptoms, I would not let him preform oral sex on you. Since he is asymptomatic it is difficult to know when he is or is not virally shedding. The risk of you getting oral HSV-2 is low because you have genital HSV-2 and have had it for a year, which is more than enough time to build up antibodies. If you or your partner has an autoimmune illness or is on a medication that lowers the immune system, the risk for contracting it on other parts of the body increases. Oral herpes of either strain can cause esophagitis in those with uncompromising illnesses or situations. However, if this applies to neither of you, then you should be good! πŸ™‚ Also, oral HSV-2 is pretty rare in general. Protection is always a good idea in general, but if this is a long term partner you can evaluate if you would like to use protection or not. Plus, do what you are comfortable with! Both your opinions matter, and both people have to be ready for the next steps of intimacy! πŸ™‚ I hope this helps! Blessings to you both ❀️ πŸ™‚ grace
  18. HI! Great question! Just because you have herpes in one region of the body, it does not mean you automatically have it in another region (or everywhere) on your body. Herpes is isolated to the region that you were infected in. I also have GHSV-1. I think I have it orally as well (but in my nose, oddly enough). However, just because you have it genitally it doesn't mean you have it orally. Have you ever had any oral symptoms? If he is worried about contracting HSV-1, please let him know he already has it... orally! Cold sores are HSV-1, just in the oral area. How I explain my GHSV-1 to people is that it's cold sores but in my genital area; that helps them understand it. Since he already has it orally, he hypothetically could contract it in the genital region as well if you were engaging in genital sex or contact was made between the genitals or possibly body fluids (like if you were virally shedding and used vaginal lubricant to preform oral sex on him, but the risk of that is lower than skin to skin contact, I believe (but I am not a doc!)) In general, contracting GHSV-1 from someone who has it is a low risk, since HSV-1 typically is the less aggressive strain of HSV. Plus, he already has some antibodies since he has cold sores! Could he still get it, sure, but is the risk very very low, yes!!! If you both decide to engage in penetrative sex, he should really make sure he understands everything and won't freak out afterwards. In regards to his freaking out... I understand that it can be overwhelming for people after being intimate, but he should not take that out on you. I've been with people who freak out the next day and act regretful and upset and it is immature and just inappropriate. If someone needs support after the fact, they need to approach it in a respectful way. We are not dangerous and our bodies aren't bad! If they are upset, they need to remember that we can provide support and knowledge, but they also can seek knowledge from research and data (like on this site!). I hope this is helpful! Blessings to you! ❀️ πŸ™‚ grace
  19. Hello! Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure others can relate! The risk is there, but it is low. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, and uses saliva or body fluids as a means of "transportation" of sorts. Saliva: I am not a doctor but I would assume the chances of someone getting HSV from direct oral sex is greater than someone spitting into their hand and touching the person's genitals since there is skin-to-skin contact. Vaginal Fluid: Similar to the answer above, skin-to-skin contact would likely be more of a risk factor than just the bodily fluids, since herpes does not live in body fluids (but instead may get into it as the fluid washes over the skin where someone has an HSV infection). I'm sure you are perfectly safe. Have you noticed any symptoms since you posted this? If you do notice anything, take note of it. In 12+ weeks you could go get a herpes IgG blood test to see if you have antibodies for it. However, if you have cold sores, you would test positive for HSV-1 (which 2/3 of the world has!). Don't worry, I am sure you are okay. If you have any others questions or need support, please reach out! Sending prayers of peace and hapiness your way! Be kind to yourself! πŸ™‚ grace
  20. Hello! First, I love your username. Donuts are a happy treat indeed! ❀️ Second, please know I understand your situation. I also contracted H from an older boyfriend when I was 19, and it was a traumatic experience to say the least. Please know you are not alone and this doesn't define you at all ❀️ You are strong! You are beautiful! You are a blessing and you deserve love and respect ❀️ !!! This is a great question, and so many people are in situations where they aren't sure if they need to disclose because of testing. To provide the best answer, I want to ask what the single sore looked like. Did it have a white center? Did it go through a cycle of healing? I know you said it did not scab, but did it ooze at all? Was it painful or itchy? Because you have only had what seems like one single outbreak, it is possible you have GHSV-1, which tends to be more mild than GHSV-2. The location of the herpes doesn't give the virus its distinction, but instead the strain of the virus. That's why we write is GHSV-1 (since it's in the genital region!) Similarly, if someone had HSV-2 in the oral region, we would call it OHSV-2. I have HSV-1 in my genital region, which I believe I got from oral sex. I have had it for four years, and have only had about 3 outbreaks. So, if you do have H, it is possible that it is HSV-2 OR HSV-1! In regards to the first interaction with the nurse who took the swab test and blood test that came back negative: She should have said it could be HSV-1 or HSV-2 instead of the broad term "genital herpes." Swab tests can come back negative if there isn't enough viral culture swabbed, and because we cannot see the amount of the virus on the swab stick, this type of test can be prone to human error. Sometimes there just isn't enough swabbed for the test to detect the virus! She most likely did an IgM blood test because an IgG test takes 12+ weeks to be valid. It takes 12+ weeks for the body to build up detectable numbers of IgG antibodies. However, blood tests can also be misread, regardless of when they are taken! In regards to HPV: HPV typically does not have symptoms, and if someone does have HPV symptoms, it is typically a wart-like bump (and no burning or the symptoms you described). There are so many strains of HPV and so many people never show symptoms, and some strains do not cause the bumps! If you have ever been to a gynecologist and have received a PAP smear, they test for HPV. Also, if you have never been to a gynecologist, definitely book an appointment with one, since we are at the age to start seeing one, especially if you want to be sexually active. I just saw mine for the first time last summer when I was 22 (I'm now 23!). How to Disclose: Talking about health is important when choosing to be intimate with another person. Of course we are being emotionally vulnerable, but intimacy has the element of physically vulnerability, which means we should talk about STI-related health with partners before choosing to be intimate with them. Since you have not received a definitive test result, you could explain it like this: "I care about you so I want to share this information with you. When I was 19, I dated someone much older and after having sex, I experienced an infection of sorts. I had burning, issues urinating, etc, and one single sore appeared. I suspect that it is herpes, although I am unsure what kind. [They might not know about types of H so you may need to explain this here]. I've been tested 3 times but the results came back negative, but false negatives are always possible, and I do believe I have H. I have not had any outbreaks since I was 19. Herpes is very common, and it is nothing to be afraid of, but being honest about things is important and I respect you. Because I suspect I have herpes, let's play it as if I do have it just to be safe. Condoms help reduce transmission by half, so the risk of me passing my H to you is about 2% if we use protection, and that is for GHSV-2. the risk of transmission for GHSV-1 is typically less. If you need time to think about this or you have any questions, that is totally fine." The Western Blot is at the University of Washington in Washington State, USA. I know someone on here has sent a sample over to them and was not from the USA -- whoever you are, explain how you did it πŸ˜„ !!! I hope this helps! If you have any questions or need any support, feel free to reach out! Sending blessings and prayers your way! πŸ™‚β€οΈ grace
  21. Hello! Great questions. Thank you for sharing your situation and asking such great questions we can all benefit from talking about! πŸ™‚ 1. Soap and Water will do the trick! If you are concerned about transmission, washing off your genitals with water and soap (like shower soap) would be enough. Using the hibiclens may not be a great idea to use repeatedly on the same sensitive area like the genitals because of the openings there (urethra). Also, I am not sure if it kills HSV; it kills bacteria, fungi, and some viruses, but I am unsure if it includes HSV. I would definitely talk to a doctor about using the product! 2. The NIH is a reliable resource and that article is peer reviewed, so I would say that the 28% info is trustworthy! In general, being circumcised helps reduce infection of any tyoe because bacteria cannot be caught in the "hood" of the penis. It is easier to keep the penis clean as well. 3. Yes, it is possible to contract HSV in the other region of the body if you have it in one region. For example, you can have genital HSV-2 and contract it orally. However, the risk is low. Risk factors include the following: a. It hasn't been 12+ weeks of exposure and you have not build up antibodies to protect your from autoinnoculation. It takes 12+ weeks to build up sufficient antibodies to help reduce the risk of autoinnoculation (giving it to yourself). However, it is unlikely you would give yourself HSV-2 from your genitals to your mouth because that would mean you are touching your genitals and the sores and then licking your hand... and common sense obviously would tell us not to lick your hand if you just touched sores! Passing it from mouth to genital would basically mean the same thing; you are touching an oral sore and then touching the genital area. b. You are immunocompromised or are on immunosuppressant medication. Those who have an autoimmune illness or take medication that lowers their immune system are at a greater risk for contracting the same strain of HSV in two+ places on the body. c. You are continuing to be intimate with your partner when they have open sores/are virally shedding. Although you both would have the same strain, the chance of contracting it elsewhere increases if you are touching open sores or sores that are still healing, since the virus is shedding and "awake". In general, it is the safest and most comfortable idea (sores hurt!) to abstain from intimacy until the sores have fully healed for 7+ days. 4. Statistics can be tricky! Statistics sometimes tell us about the chance something could happen, and even though it is low, it is 100% still possible! That 10% data fact leaves out SO many variables; maybe the past partner had an active sore. Maybe his viral load was large. In general, vaginas are more likely to contract HSV because they have a larger surface area of mucous membranes, where HSV likes to enter the body through. That 10% is an average. There are always outliers (data that does not align near the average). 5. Antivirals are helpful, but they are not for everyone. Not everyone takes antivirals. Some people take them as a suppressive measure; a way to lessen the chance that an outbreak occurs. There are others who take them to help an outbreak heal when it happens. Some people never take them. Basically, everyone has a right to chose what works for them. If she is curious about antivirals she could try one of the other two types (Acyclovir or Famcyclovir) but of course this is her choice, and it is between her and her doctor. In general, suppressive antivirals reduce the risk by about 1/2. When antivirals are used with condoms, the risk cuts in half again, as shown on the fact sheet πŸ™‚ 6. Who Are We to Cast Judgement? Honestly, she probably feels terrible about this enough. Talking to anyone about H is vulnerable and often painful. She obviously trusts you, which is wonderful. Just as she respects you and shared this with you, she deserves respect and acceptance as well. She may look back on that choice and feel such regret and sadness, and I am sure she has had to do a lot of emotional work to get over the herpes emotional hurdle. I have had HSV since I was 19; I dated someone older who was very mean and I should have ended things sooner. If I would have, I don't think I would have H. However, my reality is I DO have H, and it doesn't make me a bad person. It doesn't make her a bad person either! H is a common virus, and nothing more. Society assigns stereotypes and judgement to H, but that doesn't make them true! Judging is disrespectful and just incorrect and has no factual basis. Society created those stereotypes and of course society has the ability to dismantle them. And that dismantling starts with people on this forum, and it starts with you! Remember, society has supported a lot of stupid ideas that were disproven and were unethical... lack of women's rights, the unregulated meat-packing industry in the early 1900s, the idea that it was perfectly safe to preform surgery with unwashed medical equipment... so just because there are societally-constructed ideas out there about H or people with H, don't get caught up with them! They are founded upon myth, fear, and hate, and that is NOT a solid foundation! Build your own opinions based on fact; H doesn't define someone, and sometimes tough things (meaning H) happen to good people but that doesn't make the person bad (in fact, it often makes them stronger, more compassionate, and wiser!). I hope this helps. Reach out with any questions! Blessings to you and your partner, grace
  22. Hello β˜€οΈ Thank you so much for sharing your story and reaching out for help. Please know you are not alone. We are here to support you!! You are not bad. You are not dirty. You are not dangerous to your family. You are good. You are pure. You are safe and so is your family. 2/3 of the world has oral HSV-1. 13.2% of the world has an HSV-2 infection. HSV is a common virus. It's society who created the stigma. Please know the stereotype and stigma have no value or truth or weight to them-- they're just puffed up with fear and judgement!! Have you always had cold sores? Did the doctor ever swab the oral sores? Or did you test positive from blood samples? It's totally possible for HSV to cause nerve symptoms like the ones you are describing. It is also possible for HSV to dwell but not awaken until later in life. Illness can trigger outbreaks; have you been sick recently/before the symptoms began? Do you notice if the symptoms are ever worse or better, and so what seems to help or worsen the symptoms? Have you tried heat or ice packs to soothe the nerves? Have you tried antivirals? If you're suffering this much perhaps an IV or antivirals would help you. It helps the body "reboot" when the virus is too overwhelming for the body. Stay strong and be kind to yourself. I know when bad things and scary things happen, we may feel there's no way out. However, I promise you there is. ➑️➑️❀️ If you're feeling like you may harm yourself, please call 988 ❀️ You will get through this, I promise!! Please reach out if you need anything, whether is advice or just someone to talk to. I am praying for you! πŸ’›β˜€οΈ Blessings to you and your family β˜€οΈπŸ¦‹ grace
  23. Hi! You could try gauze if it helps! The cream I used was actually for oral herpes blisters. It smelled like lemon and was made with lemon balm, I think! I sadly forget the brand but I got it at this little natural health food store near my college. Sending happy healing blessings your way! β€οΈπŸ™‚
  24. Hi! Okay, thanks for the clarification. Yes, it could be that the friction from sitting or chafing could cause the sores to be irritated and reopen which prolongs healing time. You can use Lysine cream as often as you'd like. During my first really bad outbreak I would apply little blobs of the cream to my sores because they hurt so bad and I had to sit in my college classes and walk to and from classes. My sores were so big and crusty and bad they made holes in my underwear and leggings πŸ˜‚ I actually still have the pairs of underwear! They remind me of how far I've come and how I've made peace with my H ❀️. Let me know what your doctor says about the other antiviral. Feel better and stay kind to yourself πŸ’›πŸ¦‹β˜€οΈ Blessings!! grace
  25. Hello! Rest assured, you and your children are perfectly safe β˜ΊοΈβ˜€οΈ HSV likes dry environments and is spread via skin to skin contact. Especially in a chlorinated pool, HSV would likely not spread. Even if an area with an outbreak brushed against your child, the water would likely just wash any viral particles away ☺️. Have no fear!! Enjoy the sunshine and pool with your children. Sending blessings and happiness your way! β˜€οΈπŸ¦‹πŸ’› grace
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