eastnorthsouthwest

I just joined this group and have a similar story to yours. Contracted HSV2 from my husband and we divorced in 2014. I have not had any relationships since then. I was hurt badly in my divorce and I have a lot of walls and trust issues to break down before letting someone in. However, I've tried and met a few people who I finally trusted enough to get to the point of intimacy that I felt disclosure was important before we moved further. Of the four I told, one ghosted me immediately, two slowly decreased and then cut off communication altogether, and one was honest and told me he just couldn't handle it. I guess I'm writing because I hope you've had positive experiences since you posted this or at least restored your faith. I could use some positive words as I'm losing hope! People say it's not a sexual death sentence, but that's certainly been my experience.

I'm in my midforties and I was diagnosed with HSV2 about 20 years ago. I was married at the time to my only sexual partner, and he refused to believe it came from him because he was asymptomatic, despite admitting that his ex-girlfriend also had the virus. We divorced in 2014 and have had a pretty amicable coparenting relationship. Recently he told me that he and his girlfriend are having a baby, and it's brought up a ton of toxic feelings that I didn't realize I had that have been keeping me up at night. I think in large part, its because my attempts at relationships have all failed once I've gotten close enough to someone to disclose that I have the virus. Of the four people I told, one ghosted me immediately, two slowly decreased communication until they cut me off completely, and one was very nice but told me he just couldn't handle it. I guess I'm angry and jealous that my ex has been able to have a number of relationships and move on with his life and I haven't, at least in this area. I'm pretty sure he's not telling anyone he's a carrier, because I still don't think he believes he is. How do I get rid of these toxic feelings and move on with my life and how can I stay positive and believe I may still find happiness? I'm at the point where I'm just avoiding all potential relationships so as not to get hurt again.