smileandlaugh

Sigh......thank you everyone. The separation from him has made me see him more clearly and I know I'm better off. I put a picture on my cell phone lock screen that says 2014....a fresh new start. I see it many times a day and it helps so much!!

Well....I did everything right. I put myself out there. I went on Eharmony, found a great guy. We were a great match. Talked on the phone for hours every night. We finally met after a few weeks. At the end of our first date, he was very interested and it just seemed right to have the talk. I was nervous, but I did it. He thanked me for telling him. In fact, he was even more impressed with me because I was so thoughtful in telling him. Our second date was amazing. We ended up being intimate. He even wanted to "feel" me naturally at first and I said no way. So we used protection. It ended up being an incredible night. We dated and were intimate for 2 months and were intimate at least 10 times. But then all of a sudden one night he was having performance issues. I worked my magic and it was all fine. But I knew something was up. He said he was going through something and it was nothing I "did." I naively didn't think anything of it. He continued to call every night (we live pretty far so didn't see each other except for every other weekend). I didn't see him for a while. Then long story short one night he said lots of nice things to me, blah, blah, blah. Then he said he wasn't a brave many and that the risk was just too great. The H was in his subconscious and affecting his abilities. He said he needed time and space to think about it. I was completely caught off guard. I literally had forgotten all about my herpes. I was devastated. I researched and researched and printed up a whole slew of articles. That is how I found this site which is the BEST there is. He knows the stats are low but says there is still a chance. He's scared and says that if we go forward it will be like marrying me. Haha! I know.....I'm trying to move on. I know it will never work. It's just so sad because we both couldn't believe how much we had in common. He said he'd never met anyone like me. It took a long time for him to find someone like me. I just feel duped because I did what I was supposed to, he went along and then all of a sudden changed his mind. Thanks for listening. :)