filmgirl

The person who gave me HSV1 got a blood test and it was negative. (or so he says) I don't think he believes he has it and he seemed to imply that I got it from someone else. Form of gaslighting.... This person also may be a sociopath so.

The person who gave this to me also got a blood test that was negative. He doesn't believe he gave it to me. Sigh. Has this happened to anyone? Aka- jerk.

Thanks Grace! As depressing as it is to get rejected, honesty is best and maybe next time I'll mention it sooner. It seems like the stigma about the thing is worse than the thing itself. sigh. I did find someone else who also has it so its not even a thing in regards to hooking up. yay. Thanks for your response! Reading other responses on this forum is also super helpful.

Does anyone have any luck with hookups? I get that getting to know someone and taking it slow and disclosing the herpes diagnosis is a step towards intimacy and trust, but....when your sex life involves multiple people? I'm in the time of my life of being more sexually adventurous and am not letting HSV 1 stop me from doing that! But I have seemingly gotten rejected from someone already who I was very excited to see this weekend. Do you all disclose right away or later? I figured to disclose before meeting in person to give him more time to process but I have not heard back which I take as a sign that the risk is too high. Also seems like herpes in the poly or bdsm community is complicated since more people are involved. Anyone have any suggestions or thoughts?

Yes I ended up having HSV-1 which I knew since the meds work. Hope you're doing ok. <3

Hi Grace, Thanks so much for writing back. So I am awaiting test results on Monday but I'm pretty sure its HSV without knowing the specifics. They already gave me medication (valacyclovir) which is working on clearing it up (they also gave me antibiotics), so I'm taking that as a sign too. If this is not Herpes, it is also very painful and uncomfortable. Yes I got body aches and chills right after having sex last week with a new partner. He said he got tested and I made sure to point out that the herpes test isn't on the STD panel. But he has no symptoms from what he has told me. Ok so outbreaks in the future don't have the body aches/chills. Is that the virus moving into the nervous system body response? Super interesting... Thanks again. Asya

Hello! I know it's impossible to tell who passed it to you. Or that the test can't tell you... But I wonder -if I've never noticed any symptoms before and I had very intense symptoms this week which were pretty immediate after I had sex, is it safe to assume that the person I had sex with passed it to me then? He had no symptoms. From what I've read, your first outbreak is the worst and this has been one of the most painful things I've gone through. So I assume this is the first infection. Ok thanks! Sigh.