LexaMarie

Right on!! I was H for happy when I read this.

Firstly, I love how inspiring you all of you guys are! It makes me wish I could interact with people like you on a daily basis. I grew up in a family of cynics and have been fighting to be aware of their internalized voices in my head for a long time. Having herpes has demanded that I focus on overcoming those fearful views I had of the world. Seeing you guys being openly vulnerable, authentic, and accepting is such a gift to me. I hope that I will be able to do that for others at some point. I am feeling an overwhelming compassion for suffering now. @HerrytheHerp Yeah, those statistics do help, but I wish the 80% of people that don't know they have it knew, because then how could so many people in a population feel they are so less than and gross? One in FOUR girls?! It is so common that it completely stupid what a fuss is made. Now I go around wondering who has it. Those who don't know they have it that would wrongly judge those who do know...such a shame! I am starting to feel more like myself again, and reading your words contributed to that greatly. My flicker of hope feels like more than just a flicker now. @WSCDancer2010 Thank you for the hug!! ^_^ Yes, I have been thinking in terms of how things can be worse a lot recently. It is true I'm not dying and I've been practicing gratitude more actively now and it helps. I just wish I could have been more careful. It was in my power to protect myself and I feel like I failed. My biggest regret... I'm looking forward to possibly making new friends through this. Suffering with others, as it turns out, tends to almost eliminate the suffering for me. @Adrial :) Thank you being you! I'm glad I'm able to participate, too. It isn't easy at first. What I really want is to be connected through this and you have made that possible for everyone. I really wish I could be in North Carolina for your seminars.

Pam, First of all, your response to my own post really was so appreciated. Your activity here is worth so much. Being a new person to this site myself, when I see others posts and notice that there are people like you who can be relied on for support and help, I know that really does motivate people to contribute their experiences and questions here, which I have benefitted from tremendously in the past week that I've been here. Everything Adrial said is so true. Hugs to you for being so great. I have the feeling you would be a wonderful person to know in real life. Cheers!

I too want to see if anyone is near my little section of the world. Would love either gender. I'm 24 and live in Los Angeles County. Even if you are not in my area and want to talk I would be thrilled. I'm new to this and wanting to interact with others with this condition in any way. It is so scary when you get in the mindset that you are alone...

Wow, what a forum. My heart and mind needed to find a community like this so desperately. I was crying so much on Christmas day and felt absolutely alone with my new condition. To be honest, this was supposed to be the year that my life finally turned around for the better. I'm 24 years old, and for 13 years (more than half my life) I have been battling a detrimental skin condition...acne. I am extremely sad that, at last, I had recently found a miracle pill that was really working for me to clear my skin and allow myself to live life more fully/freely. I enjoyed that bliss for all of a about a month. :( Found out I have herpes a few days ago. I was finally learning how to be a normal person and to feel a bit of confidence for once in my life. I had searched desperately for years for the right acne medication, without much assistance as far as effectiveness from actual dermatologists. It was thanks to me, not any doctor, that I found the one drug that ended up being the right one, and I basically told them what to prescribe me. I was so proud, thankful and exuberant for the success. I was finally going to live without that constant hurdle to tackle and that daily blow to my self esteem. I was looking forward to no more hiding, no more embarrassment... So, to say the least, I am going through a hell storm of anger and resentment at myself for getting herpes...something permanent. It's almost like the Universe just said, "Hah! Joke is on you! You aren't meant to live without a shameful condition." I thought my time to let myself shine had come...and instead, life just said f**k you! I just feel so unlucky, foolish, and devastated. I just wanted to live without any skin related burdens anymore. I guess that is a lot to ask for. I have really suffered tremendously for so long...and now this. I am so tired. So, on the plus side, feeling burdened is not unfamiliar territory to me. I'm used to it. This is just a different brand of shame I'll have to contend with now. I hope I can deal with the wretched disappointment and feeling of loss. This site has helped tremendously. Reading the stories of success on here gives me a shred of hope. I have no choice but to believe that self acceptance is possible. I'm having a rough time on my own and don't want to be isolated, and I feel that separateness so deeply now. I'm sorry I went on a rant here, but I needed a moment to openly express this frustration. I'm truly in mourning of the bright future that was at my finger tips. I don't want to be stay in a negative and self pitying frame of mind, yet I also don't want to repress sad feelings that are meant to be felt. What a conundrum...