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WillJF

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  1. Sorry to hear about the diagnosis. I honestly don't believe that hsv is more prevalent in the gay community. I just don't believe that I would have a higher chance of hsv if I simply had feelings for a man. Feelings don't mean sex. I don't even trust the statistics much because I know some gays that are terrified of coming out or publicly disclosing their sexuality. How can a society collect accurate statistics of a people that it's mistreating or under-representing? But if gay men truly had more herpes infections than other men, I honestly would blame a society that's mistreating and banishing them. When a person is banished or alienated, he or she may be more susceptible or less informed of dangers like STIs. And predators are quick to infect lone prey. For example, I am hererosexual and my parents never taught me much about STIs, if at all. But some gay man get evicted by family for being themselves, so they don't even get a chance to be informed about STIs by their parents. Anyhow, I hope you find some gay men here. I know you are not alone.
  2. Sorry to hear about the painful itchy swollen blisters and ulcers. I hope they go away soon.
  3. I'm sorry to hear that your second outbreak happened within a month of the first. I hope they become less frequent.
  4. Sorry to hear that Abreva may have damaged your lips for months. I hope they recover soon.
  5. That sounds like a nightmare. I'm sorry to hear that you experienced that.
  6. Edit: I read the rules so I edited my post. Moderators can remove the old post. Hi everyone. About 6 months ago, I moved into my dad's place. My dad had 3 wives who all left him. After he left my mom, he had another girlfriend. I remember because I would visit him and see his girlfriend living with him. One day he told me that I could not visit anymoreĺ. It seemed like my dad valued women more than his own children. If I ever marry, then I would try not to divorce. And even if I divorce, I would not marry again, especially if the previous marriage resulted in kids. My father is antiChristian. I was always hesitant of living with my dad. Before moving in with him, I would find cockroaches all over his livingroom. Upon moving in with him, I noticed a few things. Whenever he washed his dishes, there was still some remnants of food, as if he wasn't cleaning them thoroughly. Coclroaches would crawl all over the dishes and dishdrainer. One time, I believe I saw him take a dirty plate and put it in the dishdrainer with the clean plates, without cleaning that dirty plate at all. My dad has the whole apartment mostly carpeted. I've seen many dirty things fall on the carpet. I've seen my dad pick up dirty things from off the carpet and not wash his hands. I've seen him recover and eat food that has fallen onto the carpet that shoes and boots have walked on. I've seen him walk around the whole apartment with his sneakers that he wears outside. I don't ever rememeber watching him clean them even once. He also treated women like objects. He valued women that looked good and cursed women that looked "ugly." We would walk by women and he would say, "Did you see that lady? My gosh! She's beautiful." He is a man who devalues people that don't look good. I live with dad and his niece. She seems to be just like him. She sleeps in a livingroom full of roaches. She eats food from off the dirt carpet where boots walk on. She leaves the litchen very dirty. She leaves dirty dishes arlund the livingroom. She rarely washes her dishes and sometimes leaves them overnight. She leaves food around that usually attracts roaches. One time he told me that he had some infection or parasites in his crotch after sex with someone, so he sprayed his crotch with pesticide. He also told me that he had to visit a doctor after having sex with a gorlfriend one time. He said he felt betrayed. One day I noticed that he had a sore on or near his lip. I asked him about it and he said that it was a "sick sore" or something he gets when sick. I think he said it was common. He did not say that it was herpes or a cold sore, but he is not really an honest man. And I know some people don't disclose their herpes status. Anyhow, I guess I should admit that I've been masturbating for years. My genitals never looked bad after masturbating, until I moved in with dad. I know masturbating can be risky. But I lived with a cleaner roommate and had my own room, until moving in with dad: so I never had to worry much about infecting myself during masturbation. However, I now share a room with my dad. I have little to no privacy, so I almost always have to masturbate in the bathroom. On my first few days, I didn't notice the amount of filth in the bathroom like the cockroaches that crawl around the sink faucet and the whole bathroom, my dad's dirty hands touching that faucet or the doorknob, or the absence of clean hand soap. Sometimes there wouldn't be any running water without any prior warning from the landlord. At first, I didn't masturbate in the bathroom, but then sometimes dad would enter the bedroom when I was masturbating and I would be embarassed. So whenever I wanted to masturbate, I would leave the shared bedroom and go into the bathroom. But I was reckless and would use my bare hands to masturbate and touch the dirty faucet without washing my hands. One day I remember masturbating and then turning the faucet to clean myself, but there was no running water. I then decided to use a disinfecting wipe to clean my genitals, which burned me a lot. Anyhow, I started to notice bumps on my genitals some days later. I didn't think much of them and thought they'd go away. But they didn't. I've been reading posts on a lot of STI forums so I felt a bit panicky when I noticed they weren't going away. The bumps are of a different color than my skin too. If I ever have sex, they would be noticeable. Despite being a happy celibate for about a decade, I did (at first) feel a bit sad that I had such markings and bumps on my penis. But I eventually told myself that life without sex honestly wouldn't be bad. There's a lot in life outside of sex. And even before these bumps, I felt that sex was very vain. I know of people who have sex without regard for other people's safety, even through alcohol. I know I can still have sex with these small discolored bumps, but I honestly don't like sex much. I'm not a careless or apathetic man who intoxicates a person to impair proper consent. I can live my whole life as a celibate and be happy. But before these bumps appeared, I was not too innocent myself. I used to call myself a virgin, but realize that's not the truth. When I was young, I did a lot of foolish nonconsensual acts to my own family. I was also a weird boy who would touch people on very crowded trains. In my teen years, I even remembered skin-to-skin contact on one train ride and a burning sensation when I peed. For a while, I had a fear of peeing. I very likely could've infected myself long before living with my dad because I was a very foolish kid with little knowledge about sexually transmitted infections. Nowadays, I read about sexually transmitted infections nearly daily. I wash my hands before and after masturbating. I wish I didn't masturbate. I bet I wouldn't have this seeming rash if I didn't masturbate. But I don't blame myself too much because I feel like my family is sexually cursed regardless. How do I know that I didn't inherit a sexually transmitted disease from my perverted dad upon birth, which laid dormant until recently? My dad also believe that my cousin may be a prostitute. I can't say he's wrong after I visited her home. I'm scared to hug her. My brother would defend prostitutes, despite all the horror stories I've read of men who got severely ill after sex with prostitutes. I remember my mom having a phone call where she was disrespectfully talking about a some man's tongue in a sexual way, reducing that man to his sexuality. She has been through about as many marriages and divorces as my dad. I don't have much family who tell me: sex could be dangerous, people can sexually abuse or manipulate others, or some sexually transmitted infrctions can kill. I had to learn all of these things myself. And while learning all these things myself, some of my family harasses me for my sexuality, lack of sex, lack of girlfriends, my religion, and other things. They were the opposite of supportive in this context. My grandma sexually abused me when I was a kid. I strongly believe one of my aunts was very likely a prostitute, after I overheard one of her phone calls. One time I told my dad about an incident where a homeless lady force-kissed me, which is a pathological risk and can be a punishable crime in some areas, but he laughed about it. I know things can be worse though. I am still a celibate and being more clean than before. I really hope I don't have herpes. At least the bumps haven't turned into blisters. They are only itchy a bit, and are usually itchy when I touch them. But there's no unbearable itch. They are less itchy than mosquito bumps honestly.
  7. Hi everyone. About 6 months ago, I moved into my dad's place. My dad had 3 wives who all left him. After he left my mom, he had another girlfriend. I remember because I would visit him and see his girlfriend living with him. One day he told me that I could not visit anymoreĺ. It seemed like my dad valued women more than his own children. If I ever marry, then I would try not to divorce. And even if I divorce, I would not marry again, especially if the previous marriage resulted in kids. My father is antiChristian. I was always hesitant of living with my dad. Before moving in with him, I would find cockroaches all over his livingroom. Upon moving in with him, I noticed a few things. Whenever he washed his dishes, there was still some remnants of food, as if he wasn't cleaning them thoroughly. Coclroaches would crawl all over the dishes and dishdrainer. One time, I believe I saw him take a dirty plate and put it in the dishdrainer with the clean plates, without cleaning that dirty plate at all. My dad has the whole apartment mostly carpeted. I've seen many dirty things fall on the carpet. I've seen my dad pick up dirty things from off the carpet and not wash his hands. I've seen him recover and eat food that has fallen onto the carpet that shoes and boots have walked on. I've seen him walk around the whole apartment with his sneakers that he wears outside. I don't ever rememeber watching him clean them even once. All of that was not bad alone. But he also treated women like objects. He valued women that looked good and cursed women that looked "ugly." We would walk by women and he would say, "Did you see that lady? My gosh! She's beautiful." He is a very vain man who devalues people that don't look good. One time he told me that he had some infection or parasites in his crotch after sex with someone, so he sprayed his crotch with pesticide. One day I noticed that he had a sore on or near his lip. I asked him about it and he said that it was a "sick sore" or something he gets when sick. I think he said it was common. He did not say that it was herpes or a cold sore, but he is not really an honest man. And I know some people don't disclose their herpes status. Anyhow, I guess I should admit that I've been masturbating for years. My genitals never looked bad after masturbating, until I moved in with dad. I know masturbating can be risky. But I lived with a cleaner roommate and had my own room, until moving in with dad: so I never had to worry much about infecting myself during masturbation. However, I now share a room with my dad. I have little to no privacy, so I almost always have to masturbate in the bathroom. On my first few days, I didn't notice the amount of filth in the bathroom like the cockroaches that crawl around the sink faucet and the whole bathroom, my dad's dirty hands touching that faucet or the doorknob, or the absence of clean hand soap. Sometimes there wouldn't be any running water without any prior warning from the landlord. At first, I didn't masturbaye in the bathroom, but then sometimes dad would enter the bedroom when I was masturbating and I would be embarassed. So whenever I wanted to masturbate, I would leave the shared bedroom and go into the bathroom. But I was reckless and would use my bare hands to masturbate and then touch the faucet without washing my hands. One day I remember masturbating and then turning the faucet to clean myself, but there was no running water. I then decided to use a disinfecting wipe to clean my genitals, which burned me a lot. Anyhow, I started to notice bumps on my genitals some days later. I didn't think much of them and thought they'd go away. But they didn't. I've been reading posts on a lot of STI forums so I felt a bit panicky when I noticed they weren't going away. The bumps are of a different color than my skin too. If I ever have sex, they would be noticeable. Despite being a happy celibate for about a decade, I did (at first) feel a bit sad that I had such markings and bumps on my penis. But I eventually told myself that life without sex honestly wouldn't be bad. There's a lot in life outside of sex. And even before these bumps, I felt that sex was very vain. I know of people who have sex without regard to other people's safety, even through alcohol. I know I can still have sex with these discolored bumps, but I'm not a careless or apathetic man. I can live my whole life as a celibate and be happy. But before these bumps appeared, I was not too innocent myself. I used to call myself a virgin, but realize that's not the truth. When I was young, I did a lot of foolish nonconsensual stuff with my own family. I was also the weird boy who would touch people on crowded trains. In my teen years, I even remembered skin-to-skin contact on one train ride and a burning sensation when I peed. I developed had a fear of peeing. I very likely could've infected myself long before living with my dad because I was a very foolish kid with little knowledge about sexually transmitted infections. Nowadays, I read about sexually transmitted infections nearly daily. I wash my hands before and after masturbating. I wish I didn't masturbate. I bet I wouldn't have this rash if I didn't masturbate. But I don't blame myself too much because I feel like my family is sexually cursed. How do I know that I didn't inherit a sexually transmitted disease from my perverted dad upon birth, which laid dormant until recently? My dad also believe that my cousin may be a prostitute. I can't say he's wrong after I visited her home. My brother would defend prostitutes, despite all the horror stories I've read of men who got severely ill after sex with prostitutes. I remember my mom having a phone call where she was talking about a man's tongue in a sexual way. She has been through about as many marriages and divorces as my dad. I never had any family who told me: sex could be dangerous, people can sexually abuse or manipulate others, or some sexually transmitted infrctions can kill. I had to learn all of these things myself. And while learning all these things, my family harassed me for my sexuality, lack of sex, lack of girlfriends, my religion, and other things. They were the opposite of supportive in this context. One time I told my dad about an incident where a homeless lady force-kissed me, whoch is a pathological risk and can be a punishable crime, but he laughed about it. I know things can be worse though, so I am still a celibate and being more clean than before. I really hope I don't have herpes. At least the bumps haven't turned into blisters. They are only itchy a bit, and are usually itchy when I touch them. But there's no unbearable itch. They are less itchy than mosquito bumps honestly.
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