Jessica88

@JespoWe’re not together. It was for other reasons. He seemed to be okay with my H status. But he had a lot of his own mental health issues that he needed to work through, and unfortunately I became his emotional punching bag. I’m back out in the dating world and I’m terrified all over again.

https://testguide.labmed.uw.edu/view/HSWB

@GH is not the endI shared my story a couple weeks ago! I am in a new relationship! What’s even more wild is that this is the longest I’ve dated someone in years haha I disclosed after a couple weeks of talking, he took it surprisingly well. And I promised I would do my best to keep him as safe as possible, but he is aware that there’s still a risk. We both decided I would start suppressive therapy, as an added layer, and I’m also working on getting female condoms that protect around the outside of the labia. I feel that might provide better protection. Granted we haven’t been physically intimate, but it has allowed us to build emotionally first and honestly, I’ve been having so much fun with him! Relationships are still possible, it’ll get better, I promise 💜

Hi! I don’t know much about H-Whitlow. My only suggestion would be to have him tested. However, can I ask if he has any allergies? I had a massive outbreak of fluid filled bumps on my hands and I was sneezing, felt like crap..turned out I was allergic to my acrylic nails. So I had to have them removed, and immediately my skin cleared. I was having an allergy induced dermatitis. I know it’s so hard not to freak out, especially if a child is involved. I would just continue to advocate for testing to be sure. I don’t think you need to wear gloves all the time. The only time I would be concerned is if you’re touching an open wound on him, or if he has any cuts on his hands. From what I understand, it’s contracted through an opening in the skin when it’s Whitlow. I hope others are able to provide some additional detail for you!!! Hugs! It will all be okay 💜

I had to jump on here and share a positive story!!! I recently started seeing someone, and we’ve hung out a handful of times. He invited me to a NYE event and also got us a hotel (with two beds), and confirmed he didn’t want me to feel pressured into having sex right away. However, I felt that I needed to tell him my status since there was an off chance that NYE could go that way. I didn’t want to be in the throws of things and have him make a drunken decision that he later regretted. Today he invited me to watch him play hockey, and afterwards we grabbed some food. I had been hyping myself up all morning to have that talk. After we had food we walked to my car, and I asked him about NYE, and mentioned that although I know the intention is not for us to sleep together, I still wanted to talk. So I asked when the last time he was tested was and what his status was. He told me he was tested 3 months ago, and was negative. I WAS SO NERVOUS. I then told him that I was positive for HSV-2, and I told him I knew that could be a dealbreaker and I asked if he had any questions. We talked about my symptoms, and I told him that I would do whatever I could to keep him as safe as possible. I explained that I haven’t had an OB since June and that if he wanted I would happily go on suppressive meds. I explained some of the statistics. He asked me about having children and how that would impact it, and I explained as much as I could. he grabbed my hands pulled me in for a hug, then kissed me and told me that he liked me so much, loved spending time with me, and that we would figure it out. I met him on a regular dating app. I still have so much adrenaline, and I can’t believe how well he took it. I had to share this because I think so many of us are worried about the rejection, and i think as long as we’re open and honest, we can allow so many good things to come into our lives. He even bought me a bracelet that says “you fucking got this” as a way to keep my head looking on the bright side of things. I did tell him that if he changes his mind later on, that I understand and would not fault him. So we’ll see how things go, I’m leaving any of the physical intimacy and how fast that moves in his hands. I want it to be 100% at his comfort level. I’m hoping to be able to followup in a few months with more good news 🥰

Since herpes lives in your nerve clusters, it can pop up wherever you have nerve endings in your skin. Some people get a herpes outbreak on their thigh. 🤷🏼‍♀️ usually the outbreaks will occur in the same area. If you had hard white bumps though, that sounds like something different than fluid filled herpes ulcers.

Hi! I just responded to another post about this. Totally possible! Our bodies go into overdrive after the covid shot to produce new antibodies, and it basically takes energy away from the antibodies we produce naturally towards HSV after infection. So it gives HSV a little more room to be annoying and pesky. The more you build covid antibodies, the more your body will start to “remember” and your inflammatory response will be faster. So each subsequent booster should (in theory), get better! The less energy we spend making covid antibodies the more energy we can spend towards HSV antibodies.

I think it’s also important to know that in order to deliver a safe therapeutic, it can literally take decades. I work for a company that our drug is 12 years in the making and we actually have amazing data!!! It takes time. I know a lot of people take aim at how quickly some drugs are developed, but you also have to consider the funding they’re receiving. Example: covid booster, tons of government funding. Something like herpes that generally has limited impact on your day to day, isn’t going to receive as much funding as something that might be life threatening. That’s probably why it feels like we’re on the back burner.

Hi! As someone who works in biologics….this is entirely possible, and makes complete sense to me that the vaccine would trigger an OB. Here’s an article where a study was done that shows patients with previous chicken pox history, received the vaccine, and then had a shingles outbreak. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8379763/ Since HSV is in the same family, I would say it’s safe to conclude that it’s most likely the cause. Doesn’t help that either of you are experiencing stress and trauma from the loss of loved ones (sending my deepest sympathy to both of you). Basically our naturally built defenses against HSV (antibodies) are being temporarily diminished during vaccine administration because our body is triggered to use all its resources to develop antibodies for covid. So it gives HSV a little more free rein to be pesky and annoying. Once your bodies “settle in”, your OBs should start to back off. The vaccine didn’t trigger OBs for me, but it triggered horrendous menstrual cycles even though I have an IUD. As my body has built its immunity, and with every covid booster I get (2x so far), my cycles are back to basically nothing, because my hormones aren’t running haywire in an inflammatory response. It just takes time for our bodies to regulate! I hope I was able to shed some insight, but I am also not a doctor, so I encourage you to reach out to yours if you’re still having issues! 🤗❤️

@MaddieLynn I also do not get outbreaks from shaving. Mine is entirely stressed induced or around my period. I actually haven’t had an outbreak since June and I do not take antivirals at this time. My subsequent outbreaks have become more and more mild. So it can and does get better!! They make an OTC topical lidocaine that you can buy, which is cheaper than a prescription and same strength! probably the same thing that @AlliKat12 is talking about. 🤗That will definitely help, you could also try a warm sitz bath to relieve some of that itchiness!

Please tell me someone deactivated fatladysangnocure…. ”unattractive and overweight”…..This is exactly the kind of attitude that forces people into isolation from fear of judgment. for my two cents, do whatever is going to make you feel comfortable! You got this @jimbabwe92 ! my absolute favorite quote: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

Commenting, because I too, would like to know how to disclose. I’ve only recently re-entered the dating world after my result, and I am afraid of the rejection too. A guy I used to talk to reached back out, and I’ve been in my head about just walking away, or telling him so he can walk away. My closest friends keep telling me, I’ll know when it feels right, and that I don’t need to say anything until we get to that point. I know they’re right, but it’s hard not to feel a certain way.

Hi @RudiK! You’ve certainly come to the right place to talk openly about all of this. You are not alone in how you are feeling. I think we’ve all been there, but education is your greatest tool! Bloomer is right, an IgG test prior to 12 weeks may be inconclusive unless you have an open sore that can be swabbed. However, an IgM test would. So generally an IgM, although not considered the most accurate, would potentially show an initial infection while your body is building antibodies. Then your body would make a switch, and you would be presenting enough of the antibody to show in an IgG test. We all make mistakes, but, until you know for sure, is it possible that you may be having an issue that’s unrelated? Maybe sciatica, since you say you are a driver? A nerve could be pinched causing the pain? Also know, that even if you are positive, there are so many people living with this. I personally have gHSV-2, and my symptoms are sooooo mild, I barely feel my OBs, and it has not impacted my day to day life. I have more anxiety around the rejection than I do the virus. And honestly I’m angry at how ridiculous the stigma is now that I’ve educated myself. This is a great community for information. *Most* people on here are generally helpful and upbeat! I would also suggest listening to the Podcast: Something Positive for Positive People, I’ve been finding it very helpful to hear others stories. Please continue to reach out to this group! Hugs!!!

Hi! I’m also a 34f, single, independent, but still looking for someone special. It’s tough! I had my first diagnosis in June 2022, however, I had suspicions for about a year. My first outbreak was (if my suspicions were correct) May 2021, and I probably had an outbreak every other month after that for 6 months and usually around my period. This past winter/spring, my OBs were about every 3 months. However, since my official diagnosis in June, I haven’t had one, at least that I am aware of. All of my subsequent OBs were maybe 1-2 sores, and gone within the week. Every now and then I’ve had some tingling in that region suggesting I might have one, but then it goes away and nothing happens. I don’t think about it as often and I also do not take an antiviral as a suppressive therapy, because my OBs have been so mild. Tbh, the only reason I’ve even noticed some of my OBs was due to urine hitting an open sore. It was like “oh I guess I had an OB” 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’m more anxious about disclosing to any new potential partners than I am about my OBs at this point. Hope this helps shed some light!

@newtothis22 thought you might find this thread helpful!

@40sBritishMale This is a shot in the dark here, but the second I read about your rectum area being itchy and sore, I immediately thought of pinworms. It typically impacts children, but can impact adults. It has been reported to move into the testicular area as well. I’m not sure what your lesions look like, but maybe take a look and compare? I do hope you find answers soon, and some relief! hugs!

@newtothis22 I know what you’re feeling! But you are not required to disclose anything until you think you’re ready to engage physically. You cannot pass genital HSV through kissing, nor HPV, but I know that doesn’t change your anxiety around it. Just know you’re not alone! I recently received a pos genital HSV-2, and I’ve been on two first dates. I’m a lot more cautious about my dates, and I see everything with a new perspective. Both dates, the men wanted to proceed to “going back to their place” and it made me realize how quick people are to “trust” and assume the physical attraction is mutual. And honestly it makes me feel a little sick, and was a huge turn off as a female. Especially as HSV-pos. So I’m sure she already respects you even more for not pressuring her into something physical (not that you would, or she would but it happens all too often these days). I think by taking your time, getting to know this person more, will only build the understanding between the two of you. And maybe when you’re ready to have that talk, share the facts with her, and let her know that her comment was a little insensitive, but that you knew it wasn’t from a place of malice. Education is key 🤗 if she doesn’t want to proceed with dating after that, then it just simply wasn’t meant to be, but it could be for loads of different reasons outside of your STIs. Dont let your worries keep you from finding that someone special! Easier said than done, I know. Sending you hugs!

@Dutchy so I’m assuming it says something like 9.7 IV? If so, IV stands for Index Value or Signal-to-Cutoff. It really doesn’t mean a whole lot in terms of other values. Basically the test was designed to test against a standard. So all it’s saying is that you have a signal of 9.7 above the cutoff which means your positive. If it had something more like g/dL then you would be taking about an actual concentration measurement of antibody presence (or commonly referred to as Titer). So it depends on what’s after your 9.7 value. The difference between IgG and IgM is just a different type of antibody. So if your original result was IgM positive but now negative it wouldn’t be surprising. IgM antibodies don’t stick around but would indicate the initial infection timeframe. IgG are your long term guys that hang around. If you continue to get tested, there will probably be fluctuations in the IgG but a lot of that can be chaulked up to method accuracy, and maybe even the amount of antibodies present at the time of testing. Just think of it as qualitative instead of quantitative. It is absolutely possible for you body to produce the IgG in 5.5 weeks. Hopefully I was able to shed some light? Who knows maybe I’m way off here. I work in the sciences and even though I look at stuff like this all day, it’s still confusing to me. 🤪

Hi, I had my first flare about a year ago about 2 months after having unprotected sex, and I wrote it off as a rash from the gym. Over the last year I had repeated spots appearing in the same area, very minor, more annoying than anything. I’ve been abstinent this whole time because I had suspicions. My suspicions were confirmed last week with a HSV-2 pos result at my annual checkup. I have been flooding myself with as much information as possible. As a result I’ve been telling my closest circle of friends. Thankfully two are HPV-pos and two are HSV-1 pos. So I’m feeling some good support already. However I’m still hoping to not only find a community, but to also provide/receive support. I think because I had a suspicion of what was going on, that the news isn’t hitting me as hard as I thought. But I’m sure I’ll have my breakdown soon once the adrenaline wears off (lol). Anyways, here to chat and have a good cry with anyone if needed 🙂