iheartpuppies04

Thank you. I really appreciate it. 🙂

He has known since May I believe. We are going to talk tonight. I'm definitely very upset about it. Bc again I personally can't fathom why a smart, mature adult wouldn't feel that a clear conversation has to happen. Even if it is scary. If it was me, I know I would have done more, so I can't understand. This isn't a situation where it is ok to just assume someone knows. 😬 He has said he is sorry and should have said more. Bad situation to have an oopsies with though. 😞

Hypothetical question. If a partner has hsv1 and hsv2 and you don't yet... wouldn't it be better to get hsv1 genitally, as hsv1 is generally less severe and frequent than hsv2? So if you get hsv1 genitalia first, can you still get hsv2 there as well? Thanks!

Thank you for your input. I think I'm just really overwhelmed right now and definitely thinking worst case scenario, especially with hsv2. This also feels like a huge breach of trust to me so I'm not sure what to do with that. Maybe I just need more time to process it. I just would have made sure he clearly understood if it was the other way around. If I had known he tested positive, I could have chosen to take the risk vs unknowingly being exposed (which feels much crappier).

I just found out my boyfriend of 7 months has both hsv1 and hsv2. He got a cold sore a few months ago and that's when he told me gets cold sores and we should avoid kissing until it went away. I had almost zero knowledge about cold sores so I looked it up and found out about hsv1 and 2. I didn't know they are lifelong viruses and how they spread, viral shedding, etc. Anyway, at that point I suggested we get tested for both. About a week went by and I had asked about the results but he said he didn't have them yet. After that life kind of went along and I had forgotten about it but it would pop into my head at times when I couldn't ask him, like when was trying to sleep. I should have made it a point to ask and that is my fault. I wrongly assumed that he would have had a very clear conversation with me if he tested positive for hsv2. Well I just find out that he did test positive. He said he tried to tell me that he got the results back and I said I didn't want to talk about it. I don't recall this conversation at all bc I absolutely would have wanted to talk about it. I'm really mad that he didn't push to have a more clear conversation. He said he just assumed I knew and was ok with it. So here I am now not knowing what to do. I feel deceived but also mad at myself that I didn't push more about it. I was trying not to make him feel bad or stigmatized him. I really trusted he would tell me and make it very clear, because that's what I would have done in the same situation. I just tested and haven't gotten my results back so I don't know if I've gotten hsv 1 and/or 2 from him yet. I can't even decide what I want my results to be. Obviously I don't want to have H but I'm also concerned about being able to continue our relationship if I am negative. I feel like I'm going to be paranoid about getting it and thus wont be turned on at all when we are intimate. But I'm also afraid of being positive for obvious reasons. I know some people have very mild outbreaks and infrequently but I've also read on these forums some scary stories and I'm afraid of being in pain. Just looking for some advice/support I guess. I'm having trouble dealing with so many things at once... that he didn't really tell me/assumed I knew/was ok with it.... dealing with the fact that I might have hsv 2 (and hsv1)... and how to have a good intimate relationship if I test negative, how to not be scared all the time. Help appreciated. Thank you.