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learningtolovemyself4

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  1. I just found out I have HSV-2 (September 2022) and I feel like my world is caving in on me. My s/o of 2 1/2 years has had it for about 10 years, but the way he explained it to me was that he only had one outbreak and originally tested negative, so he assumed he was fine and didn't think anything of it. He had his second outbreak about a month ago and that's when he told me. I feel all of the things they say you shouldn't feel; ashamed, embarassed, dirty, gross, tainted. I also feel betrayed, violated, and that my life will never be the same. I haven't had sex with my partner since his most recent outbreak, and I feel like it's going to be hard for me to be able to become comfortably intimate again. Like my trust has been broken, and that thought will always be in the back of my mind. I have previous sexual abuse trauma, so that definitely plays a role in why it's affecting me so much. This news has me feeling depressed and slightly suicidal. I don't want to deal with this, I wish I could wake up from this nightmare. Do these feelings ever really go away? Are there people who have been through this and gone on to have a successful relationship after their partner infected them? I'm clearly having a hard time coping, and help or advice is appreciated.
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