New_Moon

Hi, you don't have to tell everyone who's close to you. Just tell the people you know will be suppportive. The only exception is to always tell someone you are going to be intimate with. I have told my sister , my best friend and my mum - they have all supportive. Other than that in 7 years of having this virus I have told 5 people who I went into have relationships with. I just had the fifth chat a few weeks ago and I start by asking if that person has ever had a coldsore and went from there. If you truely believe someone won't accept you, don't be with them and don't tell them. It's really a minor condition and not a deal breaker for most. Don't tell yourself no one will accept you , that can become a self fufilling prophecy! People won't reject someone for having oral cold sores and it's the same thing just a slightly different strain. Get educated and know your facts before telling someone. Hope this helps

Great post @MissingMe, you know your stuff!

Hey @sil88, Im sure the NHS leaflet it actually says use protection until you can tell them!! Outrageous advice!! More education needed for sure, even for the nurses and doctors!!

Hey @sw85, I'm from the UK too :) back in the day they used to do a blood test but they stopped - I asked why and they said cos herpes is so common and since it's not cureable they can only treat it when it appears. Plus they mentioned the stigma but basically since they are keeping people in the dark and are not educating people Its perpetuating it and make us that know feel like we are alone - until we do research that is! I think you should find out but wait till you have an outbreak and get it swabbed since they have said there is not a reliable blood test in the uk!

@Robyn_ woohoo, brilliant news! Really happy it went well! It shouldn't be a deal breaker (although everyone has the right to decide for themselves what their deal breakers are) and I'm glad it's not for him xx

No issues, we just avoid being intimate if I don't feel right - I have ocd so I'm all about the worst case so most times it's nothing but I want to protect him. I'm on Anti virals and we intemittently use condoms but he is aware of the stats and facts and he has hsv1 orally. We have been together for a year and a half. Defo don't be celibate for the rest of your life, H is so common it's just that the majority don't know they have it And remember you are not H, it's just something you are dealing with :) Hope this helps :) xx

@Robyn_ sorry the Doctor acted that way, so unprofessional. At the end of the day, I put it down to them being humans too, yes they should know better but they can be just as ignorant or uneducated about things as anyone plus he/ she might have hang ups about sex. Don't let it get you down. There are plenty of understanding docs to make up for ones like this plus I think the GUM clinic docs are more up on H than GPs so might be good up have a wee chat with them. Stay strong and defo ask for a different doc next time xx @Danaaaaaasaur, I'm so sorry about the way your doc spoke to you also! What an ignorant @ss!! Grrrrr! Hang in there xx

Sorry @Robyn_ This should have been titled for you xx I think we all feel like that at the start, H should be discussed more openly by the medical profession so people realise how common it is before they contract it - we can do our bit by educating others when and where possible :) Ask as many questions as you like, your not raining on the parade at all :) I have only disclosed twice since being diagnosed so no unsuccessful disclosures so far. Been with my current bf for a year and a half so hopefully I won't have disclose again as things are going really well! xxxx Sorry for getting confused there, using my phone so its not the easiest to keep track :( xx

@sadpanda, I'm sorry to hear that :( defo check out Lichen simplex then. Hang in there x

@EllaMight hello :) I think we all feel like that at the start, H should be discussed more openly by the medical profession so people realise how common it is before they contract it - we can do our bit by educating others when and where possible :) Ask as many questions as you like, your not raining on the parade at all :) I have only disclosed twice since being diagnosed so no unsuccessful disclosures so far. Been with my current bf for a year and a half so hopefully I won't have disclose again as things are going really well! xxxx

Saying that, even if it wasn't so common you will still find understanding people :) everyone has baggage and no one is perfect! I wouldn't want to be with someone who is super judgemental and who doesn't have empathy for others! And remember everyone is fighting a battle you may know/ not know about ;-) it's part of being human

Hi @EllaMight, the first disclosure was a guy at work that I knew for 8 months and the second (my current bf) was on the 3rd date I think - I wanted to get it out there pretty fast so we didn't get attached if he couldn't deal with it but he could. Both chats were daunting and I'm a stresser so not really easy going ha. Just made sure I was fully informed and let them know they could ask me anything and that I didn't expect anything from them. They were both shocked but both ok with it too. I mean, once people learn how common it is then it's hard not to be understanding. Hope this helps you feel a bit better :)

Hey guys, I'm from Scotland a bit older than you lot (I'm 34!! Ha) but I can tell you I have good and bad days and have had two successful disclosures since being diagnosed at 31 :) The H bomb is super common so we are defo not alone and this place proves that and is a great place for support when you need it and you can help others in return which is great :) Hang in there x

Oh wait, I should have read your last before replying... You had a yeast infection sorry! I just got my results and remembered your post and acted too fast there. maybe the info will help others however :)

Hey @sadpanda/ all :) I got a biopsy as I was irritated and they found I have Lichen Simplex - yay me ha, I'm collecting simplex's like Pokemon ha! Its part of the itch/ scratch cycle.. Look it up. I got prescriptions to sort it out, some creams and a body wash. Maybe that's what's going with you? Worth looking into, hope you are feeling better in any case :) x