Thank you for your thoughtful and kind reply. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I am lucky in that I have never had symptoms and outside of the burden of disclosure, it has not effected me much. He unfortunately had symptoms, which is why he got tested. I feel so terrible because I believed I was doing everything possible to protect him and yet he still got it.
It’s crazy to me that HSV effects each person so differently. The statistics I’ve read suggest that something around 80% of the population has it and that most people are asymptomatic. But for those who are not, I know it can have a big impact. I don’t fault him for any of his feelings. He has every right to feel betrayed and angry and devastated. And I also wish that our country didn’t stigmatize HSV so much, because that part makes it so much harder when you’re diagnosed. In other countries like Australia, they just assume that everyone is going to end up with it at some point because it’s so prevalent. I wish America did a better job educating people about STIs and that it’s not shameful to have one and that you don’t just get them from sleeping around and being irresponsible.