Klopz

Hi everyone... Ive been gone for a while and been really enjoying life trying not to think about H at all. I dont know if yall remember my story, but i had originally gotten a positive result only to later get a call from the Dr to tell me i was actually negative that i had to just go back to get retested in a month. I havent had anymore OB like, but I know that doesnt necessarily mean I am neg. only way to truly know is to get tested again. Anywhoo, i finally have a Dr's appointment today with an actual OBGYN and im going to bring up the H subject. My nerves are killing me and I really just wish i could avoid this entire situation. My boyfriend and I are still happy and going strong. He did say if results came back positive (again) nothing would change, but if they were neg (again) it wouldnt change anything. I know i shouldnt worry, but i cant help to hate to be feeling this way again and wishing i could just move on. Anyways i hope all of you are doing wonderful im sorry ive been gone so long!

Hi everyone!! I feel like i have been gone for so long and like I'm missing out on some happy and very interesting threads going on here!! I keep seeing more and more successful disclosure stories which makes so happy because I have my own very happy story happening right before my eyes H and all!!! After all the freaking out i did at the end of December and begining of this month all i have to say is I AM SO HAPPY!! I am in the healthiest and happiest relationship i have EVER been in, not only does this man accept me H and all, but he has taken my son as his own. My boyfriend has made everything so public and official (which never happened the first time we dated) and he only seems to be getting more and more into this. I could go on and on about how happy I am, but I wont do that to y'all. I guess if anything, if youre reading this and just recently found out you have H know that having H doesnt have to change your dating life and you can find someone who will accept you and do everything in their power to make you happy, H and all! :) Oh and I'm still waiting to go back and get tested again to get (hopefully) some clear results on my H. I have missed all of you, and i felt like I had nothing to post about. I have been so happy though and i NEEDED to share! :)

YAY!!! I feel like I have been reading more and more happy stories about successful disclosures. We are all beautiful people who were let down, but strong and caring enought to risk losing someone we care about in order to avoid them getting this darn H. I am so happy for you bookworm I feel like from my own experience disclosure makes a relationship so strong. I am in the happiest relationship i have ever been with and i have H!! Im jumping with joy for you sweet bookworm!! :)

Ashley, Thank you for sharing a story. You truly are a strong inspirational woman! Your ex lost someone amazing and you are allowed to live a happy life with your family and friends no longer to be controlled by this man that never deserved you. Your story is something that has been needed because we can see how easy herpes really is. Having a strong woman like you as a remodel to show us that life does go on, and that life is too precious to beat ourselves up over a skin condition. Thank you again for sharing your story, you are among loving people that will not let you fall when you feel the shame. Big big hug!

Perfectly said! :)

Orngpeelmafia idk what it has been, but my boyfriend and I have gotten so close since my disclosure. It felt like forever before we even cuddled but he has opened up to me so much and I know that opening up amd talking about his feelings is very hard for him to do. He has always been so closed off. Any who I completely agree disclosure has only made things better!

Yay I'm so happy and so excited for you!! Lots of hugs!! :)

Dancer is right! I am one of those who has H- partner and its not so uncommon for H- partners to accept H+ pqrtners. Victoria is one of the H+ with an H- partner. I can also say that not only do i have an H- partner but he's been a very supportive, kind, and loving man through all this. Disclosure was my choice because I cared enough for this guy to not do to him what someone else did to me. I wouldn't forgive myself if I gave him this virus knowing I had it. My first thoughts when I had my OB was I could pretend i didnt have anything, give it to him, then we would never know if he gave it to me or I gave it to him, but when you love or care for someone enough HONESTY IS KEY. I hope you find peace in yourself.

I am a hopeless romantic and agree with herrys views on love. I refuse to be selfish when it comes to love and refuse to keep something that has affected me so much from a person i care so much about. I believe that someone will love me enough to stay. I wish you the best strawberrygirl! :)

@strawberrygirl i can see where you are coming from, but i have found a man who is negative and is still sticking with me. Not only do i have H but im a single mother. I disclosed to him on my first OB and he went to the doctor with me, and hasnt run for the hills. My biggest worry when i saw the bumps was "I know hes going to want to have sex tonight and if this is what i think i DONT want him to get it" that night i disclosed. I knew there was a HUGE chance of him leaving, but because i cared about him i was willing to take the chance. He has chosen to stick around not only because i believe he cares for me, but also because i have shown him exactly everything you have just said. i have showed him all the facts also ive shown him nothing about me has changed. Its pretty much everything you have said only including disclosure. Anywhoo Im not trying to start a fight and i completely understand where youre coming from. Just want you to know they wont all run.

I completely agree with Herry. He didnt suger coat it, but he didnt label her as a horrible person. In my personal experience before posting anything at all on this site i read and read and read through all the threads. I got a feel for what was to be expected from any of my posts. I think that coming into this honesty was to be expected and from what most of us post about being completely open @stuckinarut knew she would recieve an honest, but maybe hard to hear answer. I hope that she doesnt see us as ganging up on her. We are all here with open arms to help, and although we disagree with the ways she handled things she came to us for advice and Herry gave her great advice on how to get past what shes already done. When she decides to tell this guy shes been seeing about what has happened, we will be here. Whether he understands or not we will be here with open arms to comfort her and help her get past that. Again, i completely agree with Herry. We cant go back and undo anything so after we have made mistakes we have to move forward and try to fix them in the best way possible.

XOXOXOXO <3 :) You all are the best friends an H+ girl could have!!

Girl, no worries we dont have sex like we did once upon a time. It used to be all the time. We've only had sex twice maaaaybe three times, but I think not being able to just jump into the act makes us appreciate it way more when we finally get to do it. One thing i can say is he is way more intimate not just bang bang. lol if that makes any sense. I definitely feel extremely blessed.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes, it happened something like that.

victoriaxxx, yes ma'am we have had long and awesome conversations about this and everything in between. lol thank you sweetheart it means a lot to have your support! It means a lot to have all of your support!

Im going to have to look up tantric sex. After delivering the news to my boyfriend about H he avoided even cuddling, but we've officially gotten over that bridge and oddly enough sex has only become more intimate and passionate. I am going to give all those ideas a try! thank you @WCSDancer2010!

Thank you for this Herry, and it was beautifully said! I know that you have been one of the angles who has empowered me and has made me feel wonderful even when i feel dog ugly because of this virus. Thank you for always having the right words, right joke, or the right song to change our attitude and keep us with our heads held high with a smile. @bookworm21 is right we are so blessed to have you in our lives!

Hi EVERYONE!! :) Thank you all for the wise words! You all are so right. I need to just breathe and take it one day at a time. The serenity prayer is perfect for right now, and for now im just going to continue living as if I am H+ until I recieve tests saying otherwise. My boyfriend has accepted this and has been so supportive so if the results dont change nothing changes. I am SO happy that I have all of you to keep me in line when i start feaking out. BIG HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!

Hi Kathy and welcome, Dont be so hard on yourself. If you go through our stories you'll see that not only are you not alone, but most of us got this annoying little virus because we believed someone cared for us. The guy that I suspect gave it to me was also someone who pretended to care, he said all the right things, even went to the point of acting like he wasnt looking to rush into having sex. However, as soon as we did have sex things fell apart and he went back to his on again off again ex. Yes we have this virus that will be with us forever, but the sooner you accept that it is only a skin disease the easier it will be. Im not saying that your feelings are invalid at all because I can completely undersand how you feel. At first i would constantly wake up feeling HORRIBLE everyday was so horrible and i couldnt get over having this, but the more I became informed and with the help of all these amazing people I understood that we are still wonderful, valuable, loving people who also deserved to be loved. Just know that this guy was a complete jerk for doing this to you, but you need to love yourself first and believe in who you are. I have told my boyfriend and my closest friends and i have discovered two things. First, that this virus is WAY more common than you think. Of the people i have told two of them are H+ and the rest know a close friend or relative that is H+. The second thing i have learned is that the small circle of friends that I have are amazing true friends that love me. They have all accepted me and havent let this small virus change anything. They have been encouraging and on my down days they remind me that I am still the same loving strong friend that they fell in love with. As for finding a man that will accept you. Trust me when I say THERE IS SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU. My current boyfriend came back after 6 months of being broken up and two weeks into our relationship after being intimate for the first time i had my very first OB. I told him, and i was so sure he would leave. All i could think was im a single mother with H how is he or anyone going to want me, but he is still around and being wonderful to me and we have actually gotten closer! The one thing i do have to say helped for everyone to be so accpeting of this was the fact that I was accepting of it first. I made sure to show all of my friends and boyfriend that this didnt change me, and that this would not change me. I have my freak outs that is to be expected, but the best advice any of us can give you is to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. If you think positive and truly accept everything you will see the rest fall right into place. Reading all of the booklets provided on here helped me a lot. Being educated on this matter helps to see that there is nothing wrong with you. You simply have a skin disease. There is nothing stronger than knowing the facts and using that to ease your mind. Once you understand this virus you'll see that this HUGE monster that everyone makes it out to be is really just a tiny little nothing. I hope i was helpful in some way, and you have come to the right place. Everyone on here will be so wonderful and keep you going strong. Lots of HUGS!!!

As said in my previous post I received the phone call saying my blood work was negative. Over two weeks taking this all in and then I get the call. I know I should be happy, but apparently my results were inconclusive and I have to go back to get retested. I don't know why but this morning I am feeling so annoyed, sad, frustrated, etc. I jusy feel like i already went through this i dont want to do it again, im scsred that itll be positive I'm scared of not knowing again. I have always been the kind of person that is not afraid to face life head on, but I cannot be in the dark about anything. Granted, in life I will be kept in the dark many many times. I'm just frustrated that I was already accepting of this and now I'm once again in the dark. What happens if I go in get blood work and the number is the same, and even if the blood work shows a higher number I'm going to feel disappointed again because I had hope for a little. I guess part of me is saying you've already been accepting of this nothing should change but that small hope just feels heartbreaking. I don't know if I'm making any sense and I'm sorry for whining. I was also wondering if anyone knew if getting blood work done during a OB would cause blood work to be a higher positive. Any who thank y'all for listening to me rant..

Dancer, We don't have a planned parenthood here anymore but I'll probably go to the place my boyfriend went. Yes it's a family doctor, and I can see why you don't trust them. I am stuck between excitement and worry. Haha I don't want to jinx anything by getting excited but I having to go through this again is just got me kinda worried. I told my boyfriend and he Said he'll go to the Dr with me and either way nothing changes. Thank you guys so much. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!! Big hug and thank you forum momma !!

Thank you so much Herry!!! I hope it comes out negativity again!! Fingers crossed! You guys have all been super amazing and such a support system!! Y'all kept me from falling when I thought there was no way out. It's still not sure that I'm negative, but regardless all of you are the best bunch of people I have met, and if I get a positive I'm not going anywhere. Big big hugs for the advice!! :)

Also, should I tell my be about this or not?

Herry, The thing is that my boyfriend and I broke up six months ago. In between that time I slept with one person 5 months ago and that the person who I had to have gotten it from because my boyfriends test results came back negative when we both got tested last month. He and I had sex once last month when we got back together and that's when I got what I thought was an H OB. The Dr said .91 was a low positive, but today a different Dr that is filling in for her and used to be my Dr but now is retired told me that it was negative to just go back in a month to test again. She also said that it could have been hsv1. Also they said that the records showed that the lesions looked like hsv2, but when she looked she said she couldn't see anything. So how could they have looked like hsv2 if she couldn't see them? Also, thank you for answering so quickly with all this helpful info. I feel like I'm back in that in between where I may or may not have it. I'm so mad and confused

Okay, so I know that by the title I should be so chipper and excited, but at this point I'm confused. So a few minutes ago I get a call from one of the doctors at the clinic and she tells me that my test results came up negative. That the results were point nine something and that they were negative. Okay good and gravy but she said that the lesions could have been from a cold sore.. After how long would the blood results show up sad positive? They said they weren't sure and to go back in a month for another test... Help please I need advice .