AnnieO

I'd see a dermatologists in person. HSV likes moist areas..Lips/mouth, genitalia area, anal.

I am so sorry. I also contracted herpes at the age of 20ish. It's a freaking emotional roller-coaster for sure! 30+ years ago we didn't, or I didn't know about forums such as this one, so welcome to the "club". I just joined not too long ago, and it's been a comfort to know that we're not alone in this. I hadn't had an outbreak for many, many years. I divorced after 22 years and the stress of all that, plus the terrible weather brought on an OB. That sent my head spinning! As one part of my life comes to an end, I wonder if there will ever be a new beginning with someone else. Till then I stay as healthy as possible and try to exercise every chance I get. It's hard to share this kind of news with anyone,, let alone your parents. I think as time goes by and you're more comfortable with this new change in life, you'll be able to inform your folks and be armed with facts about Herpes and hopefully they will be understanding of the whole situation. Do not let this define who you are! You are beautiful, unique and a child of God. There is a reason for all things under the sun.( I think I'm just coming to grips with that term.) Please stay as positive as you can. Get medical help and counseling if you feel the need. There are suppressive meds that can help control the onset. Stay connected to this group. Take care of yourself. HUGS

YES! Happy New Year! And may it be better than the last. HUGS ALL AROUND!

I just wanted to change it up some. I know it's off topic, but I wanted to wish ALL of you a happy, healthy, and a better New Year to come. Merry Christmas!!

I'm not sure the incubation period for herpes is, but you might need to take a trip to the Docs and have that looked at. May just be a reaction to the material/lube. Doc may suggest some blood work too. Sorry you're having to deal with this. I pray it's nothing but a rash.

I contracted Herpes at a ripe old age of 19 also. I suffered the same worries and concerns. I'm now 56ish. I had two normal pregnancies, recently divorced after 22 years and I am a bit fearful of the future. BUT, I'm filling my life with hobbies that make ME happy and someday I may share those moments with a partner, but for now I have to focus on healing...mentally and physically. Stress and a bad diet are a horrible mix for bringing on an outbreak. This "Issue" doesn't define who we are, so dont let it get you down. People will have mixed feelings others will totally understand. I believe I heard the admin say "Love is acceptance without judgement" Please stay strong. You are not alone. Glad to have you reaching out. This wasn't available in my days, if it was I sure would have done things a lot differently.

I feel your pain. I just recently divorced after 22 years. The familiar chaos was hard to let go of, now the thought of disclosure to someone new scares me half-to-death. My fear is the "broken heart". I choose to fill my time with household projects. Learning new things all the time. I spend my spare time with good friends. We hike or bike ride. Some day someone will come along. I just dont know how I'll react when that happens. So, for the time being I try not to "future trip". I also fear the feeling of being alone, but I'm really not "alone". I have friends, family and co workers. I have a God that takes care of me and loves me despite my sin. Hang in there and just take care of yourself. I feel I'm preaching to the choir. Dont loose faith in humanity. Someday love will happen again for us and we wont be alone to face the future.

Lj-broken Unfortunately, rejection is now our 'reality' (but thats not always the case) We need to evolve into something a lot stronger than others make us out to be. There is so much to live for. Focus on things, places and people that make give you serenity and peace. (I like to hike) This new thing, It's not going to go away, but there are ways to manage the outbreaks. It's what we have, not what we are. You ARE stronger than you know. You've reached out to this group, which tells me you're looking for help. PLEASE stay connected. This is a safe place to voice your thoughts and emotions. Trust me, life will level out. BTW, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. You're not alone..

I contracted Herpes at the ripe old age of 20. Now I'm 55ish. I was married for 22 years, I have two beautiful daughters. Have had boyfriends and dates in-between. Some of them were understanding, some of them..not so much. Emotions come in waves. You'll need to ride them out and most days it wont be easy. This is not the end. You have to take care of you, before you can hope that someone else will. This shit is definitely life changing but it doesn't define who you are. I just found this site not to long ago and have struggled for many years with acceptance, rejection. This site will give you hope and courage to move forward. Life is too short as it is. Live it to the fullest now. We feel your pain.

OH my God, are these people 14 years old! For crissake! The problem with them mouthing off around the work place puts that person at a disadvantage for dating others. Those "others" may feel like he can have an "issue" too. Stay true to yourself. Stay strong and know that your Herpes does not define you. Those folks are obviously bored and anyone with any morals and respect for others privacy would not have done what they've done to you. So damn childish! I'm at a loss here, as you are as well. I'm so sorry for your betrayal.

Sorry to hear the meds back-fired on you. I was married 22 years... but he also had it. Not a good example. Sorry. Ok, lets try this one. Prior to that, I had a three year relationship back in the late 80s and one daughter from that boyfriend that was ok with the situation. Well, that also wasn't a great example..LOL.. dang! I did have a 9 year stent of dating. some ok with the issue, others not so much. I sure hope someone else chimes in. Now that i'm recently divorced, I'm starting to question any successful relationships, especially in my mid 50s. I just keep praying and keeping the faith. Best of luck.

Welcome! This is also the first I've found this group. I'm in my mid 50s and have been dealing with the Herpes issue since my early 20s. My brief history is that I haven't had a break out in over 30 years. ( Sorry that you're dealing with them more often than not.) have two wonderful grown children..Got divorced after 22 years, started a new relationship and then "Whamm!" I had a pretty good break-out. I had to then disclose to this person which about tore me apart. I left the ball in his court and it's been a slow-fade from there. I don't believe that we are built to be/live alone. I can do this for the most part, but I'd love to share my life with someone, as would you. I understand that this disclosure is terrifying for you, as it will be with me the next round of dating I dare to try. My heart breaks just running that scenario through my head.. I tend to "future trip". Bad habit. Mr_ hopp has wonderful advise and a great positive personality. Hang in there, don't loose hope, stay strong and healthy. Most of all, stay connected to the group. Read the other posts and grow from there. Message me if you'd like some personal connection. I sure could use some encouraging words from a fellow hopp.

Rock Lake off Hwy 4, California. Good luck researching recipes! Keep us posted.

STRESS!😬 It can be hard to avoid at times🙄. I really to roll with it and not stress out, especially over that little stuff.

Sorry to hear about your new diagnosis. Happy to hear that you'll still be doing what makes you happy and healthy. Have you checked with All Recipes? On line web site that you can plug in an ingredient and it will usually come up with some recipes. As for me,, I'm also HSV2 for 30+ years now. In my case I can eat anything, but choose to eat as healthy as possible. Good luck with that. Please keep us posted on your findings. I also like to hike and I try to load my pack with enough to get me through a night or two if I ended up getting stuck someplace.

Weed out the jerks..Love this! With my recent outbreak of over 30 years, I forgot how painful those outbreaks are. What a relief it was when the meds kicked in and the swelling went down. Hang in there medusakitten. You learn to evolve for a lack of better words. I have my moments of doubt if falling in love again is real. stay connected to this forum. As they say in AlAnon.."keep coming back, it works".

Thanks for sharing thefartheststar. I'm in my mid 50s. was diagnosed at 20yr old. been in and out of relationships. disclosed my herpes in many different way. some of the men were understanding, most were not. just divorced after 22 yrs, have two beautiful grown children and now I'm starting all over. come to think of it, I dont believe I've come to the point of acceptance. I'm new to this forum and to read the other posts and those that are struggling, has been encouraging. reading the blogs and watching the videos is extremely helpful too. My current relationship is sketchy. I disclosed after 6 months of sex. wonderful man, and I feel terrible about the betrayal. See, I've been symptom free for over 30 years.. go figure.. So after this new outbreak and out of "fairness" to him, I had to speak up. I felt all the shame and disgust that we all feel with this virus. Currently, I'm not sure where our relationship is now and I fear the future and the thought of being alone.. BUT, this forum is helping me understand that I really need to "accept" this and learn to love myself before I can expect the same from others in any part of my relationships. I'm considering signing up for the Coaching with mr_hopp. I need more than what I'm offering to myself..a new perspective. Please hang in there, and dont loose faith. Stay healthy. Do the things that make you happy (I hike a lot, to places that help me feel close to God) Try to get "out of your head". I know it's hard because now this Herpes is life consuming. Dont let it define you. I've done it all my life and it's getting me no where. Stay connected to this forum. couldnt hurt, right.

I wish I had enough time to read back through all these posts. I'm in Central California foothills. Sure would like some human interaction. Social media is a great way to reach out but it's not the same. Quick back story. I've been dealing with herpes for over 35 years. just recently divorced after 22 years. Had a recent outbreak after 32 years. Now on to a new chapter.

Wow, what a situation. I always wonder how that would play out if I was in your shoes. The last thing you want to do is throw your partner under the bus or have it turned on you. So happy that he's understanding, and now you both can move forward. Sorry that it happened. Praying that the both of you don't have any outbreaks in the future.

@mr_hopp Thank you for the kind words. I feel like my theme song should be "Here I go again" I believe its White Snake. But I know its "Hello, my name is" by Matthew West. I need never forget that there is a God who loves me and has a bigger plan for me. Right now He's not reveling it to me and I'm not getting any younger. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. I realize it's what I have, not who I am. It's helping those that I'm with understand it and I'm not very good at vocalizing my feelings but I'm great at avoiding those conversations which is not healthy either. At this point in my life, as much as I would enjoy a new relationship, I really need to focus on myself. Take of me for a change.

sounds like terrible advice with no explanation. Geez, Id be confused too. Maybe search for another doctor who can really help you. I hope someone else chimes in.

I agree with you Jojo21. I was diagnosed 35years ago and the disclosure was a huge dilemma for me.. to tell, or not to tell. And the last thing we need as H cases is stress. Up to this point, I couldn't tell you when my last outbreak was. Up to recently I've been married for 22 years, had two children and all were safe. Just recently I divorced and recently met a new man. (there's been a huge hole in my marriage for to many years). The stress of the short divorce, reorganizing, moving in a coworker and dealing with the California weather brought on an outbreak. My long story short, I had to then, in all fairness inform my new friend of my problem. So far he seems ok but it still hurts my heart to know that this could end and I guess I'm setting myself up for that so it wont hurt so bad. Anyway, the whole disclosure thing I guess is an individual decision. I agree, it is the right thing to do, but short of taking up a billboard on the highway, I think we need to be careful with who are with and who we disclose to... People like to gossip. Hang in there. Don't loose hope.

Thank you for the encouraging words. Yes, I do feel things have gotten a bit awkward and I dont know how to talk with him about it. My conversation skills have always been weak. It's amazing how I can bs my way through some conversations, but Im having a hard time with this particular topic. I need to start viewing the videos on this topic. There is so much more to my story, but I also have a hard time putting my thoughts into words, so my posts will seem a bit scattered to say the least. I'm so glad I found this site. I wish I would have searched for it earlier. Have a wonderful Wednesday.

I contracted herpes in my early 20s. (I really dont know how to start this). I've been in and out of relationships since. Some long term with those that were willing to take that extra "risk". Most where heart breaking because of my "issue". I have two wonderful adult children. Those were the two that were at the most risk. I just recently divorced after 22 years and all that time, and all the stress he put me through, I never had an outbreak. It was amazing! I recently started dating this incredible man! 6 months now. (I'll spare you all those details). California has seen the worse weather ever this year. We got so much rain and snow that it was hard to keep up on the damage control. My anxiety and stress levels were pushing the limit. I like to think of myself as "unflappable". Anyway, through all the changes of the divorce, getting a new roommate/coworker and my youngest daughter springing some crazy ideas my way I had an outbreak. Because it's been so long since my last one, I went to my doctor to have it confirmed. She put me on AntiVirals and it cleared up fairly quickly. Now for my future. Part of me wonders if I should have stayed married to my narcissistic/ alcoholic husband because at this point I'm not sure if forever single is for me (at least thats how it felt at that moment of conformation). In all fairness to my new friend I had to say something. In the past I've had multiple reactions. The worse one is rejection. They back away like you have the plague. Some back away gracefully. Still my heart sinks. So, back to my new man. I briefly discussed my problem through tears streaming down my face. He hugged me, but didnt have much to say. We still see each other, but it feels different. Like now it's an awkward struggle to be ourselves again. He still includes "us" and "we" when he takes about things he'd like us to do in the near future, but part of me braces for the impact when he decides that I'm not safe...does this all make sense? I feel like I'm now just rambling. getting hard to type this through the tears and sadness. Kind of pathetic, right? So glad I found this site. I always wondered if there was a support group out there. Having Herpes sure makes you feel so alone, but life presses on and I need to do make the best of it. Thank you..