BillyD

Thanks! Glad I joined in on the forum. The hypotheticals could go on and on about what it *could* be. And maybe I didn't articulate what I meant well enough. I was leading to the fact that performance anxiety pertaining to these types of things can really feed a man's self criticism. I have dealt with this myself with the fear of transmitting. It really works on your brain. All it takes is one negative thought or doubt and it is a downward spiral... And sometimes for a man it's easier to walk away instead of talking about it or facing it down. Just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, as I would anyone else.

"I completely agree with Dancer. Although I can relate to your feelings of sadness and disappointment there has to be more to it than his fear of herpes." I would disagree with this. I've been dating a girl for a few months now and I made the disclosure and she was fine with it. We started having sex and she wasn't concerned about condoms. I continue to have anxiety issues for fear of passing it onto her. She's a great girl and I could easily see a future with her. But my fear of passing it is making me rethink the whole thing. I continue to create numerous "self fulfilling prophecies" to convince myself it's not gonna work anyway. So a guy on the receiving (potential) end wouldn't be any different.