Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by bookworm21

  1. So I thought that my outbreaks had settled down. I am HORRIBLE about taking medication, so I forgot to keep up with my Valtrex. My boyfriend has been doing Army stuff for two months now, so I really haven't had the need. Well I'm supposed to see him finally tomorrow. As of today I'm feeling a horrible burning pain in one certain spot. There's no actual bump yet, but I just know there will be. So I'm frustrated. After everything we've been going through I was looking for some quality time. I love that we can talk for hours, but I also like the other stuff too! Need a little encouragement, since life is out to get me. Between the Army and my outbreak I'm going to be sexually deprived FOREVER it feels. Ugh -.-
  2. Klopz!! We missed you. I have been laying low too, with work, school, and a successful relationship of my own. I'm so glad that yours is working out!! So happy that you're happy!! :D :D
  3. Welcome to the site! (Both of you) You'll find a lot of great support here. It's going to take a minute to get used to it. Just remember, while it seems like a huge deal and that your life is over (that's how I felt) It's really not! You will go on to lead a fantastically full life full of everything you want if you chose to. I spent a few years feeling ashamed, guilty, dirty, slutty, guilty, awful, and a whole bunch of other feelings. I was a mess. I let the feelings consume me. I didn't respect myself and that led to some other behaviors. I'm telling you this because you DON'T have to feel this way. Reaching out is the first step. Realizing that you have a slightly life altering skin condition is the next step. You have herpes. Most of the time, the word itself is worse than the actual disease. As for telling people, you don't need to unless you are going to be sexually active with them! I told my mom (she's a nurse) and eventually the rest of my close family and friends. Having their support is great. Most of the time everyone forgets. Unless there is a badly timed herpes joke then people kind of look at you to find out if it's ok to laugh. Which it is. You will want to laugh about it one day. You'll also have days you want to cry about it. That's ok too. Forgive yourself. You might not think that you are punishing yourself by holding on, but somewhere deep down you are. Then truly forgive your boyfriend. He didn't know he had it. He's about to go down this long journey as well. After forgiveness you can really move on. Sparklepony is right! Educate yourself. Read everything you can. Become so used to the terms they don't affect you anymore. We are always here to help! Message me if you need anything at all.
  4. Thank you :) He really is a keeper. The more time we spend talking the more I know it. It's been hard because he's been doing military stuff, but I get to see him in person again soon! I'm so excited. He may be moving down to South Carolina soon, so that's stressful but if we are meant to be we are meant to be. I'm not letting myself stress over it! I do not need an outbreak right now on top of everything. :) Thank you for your kind words. You always know just what to say.
  5. I talked to a few people close to me last night and a sexual assault nurse today. I also told Tyler. He said he wasn't mad at me (obviously because it was sexual assault). I still just feel numb. I've been through this before when I was 16 (I have really bad luck) so I know that's normal. I'm seeking counseling for it. I'm not on drugs recreationally, I was on pain killers for a sore shoulder. Just wanted to throw that out there! I'm doing better today.
  6. I've been really depressed for a few weeks now. I'm not sure how to come out of it. I am still in a relationship with the guy I had a successful disclosure to, but he's in the military so he's been away. It's been so bad that I've barely slept and am just out of it all the time. About a week ago I had an issue where I put myself in a situation where I was taken advantage of. I don't see it as fully cheating, but I still feel guilty and horrible. How do I tell him? I have never cheated before and like I said, I was taken advantage of more than anything (it was a mix of my pain medication, lack of sleep, and severely depressed/upset emotional state). This guy and I didn't have sex. He got me to trust him, then waited until I was super relaxed (after crying about how my relationship was rocky and my life felt like it was going no where). Then he started touching me in ways I didn't want. Both with his mouth and hands. I stopped him, but it took me a minute to realize what was going on. I didn't even see that he took advantage of me until I talked it out with a friend. Help? Please. I feel so defeated.
  7. I feel the same way. When I first started talking to my current boyfriend he would tell me how amazing he thought I was, and all I thought was "If only you knew". We have a long distance relationship so I decided to tell him the night we actually met in person. I was terrified. After being on here awhile I decided to try a new tactic. He is military so I went for the straight forward approach. Instead of crying and putting it out there like the worst thing in the world/my life was ruined (my normal approach); I told him the facts and how I was going to protect him against it if we moved forward. I still teared up a little but was very open and honest. We have been together almost two months now. We'll still talk about it every once in awhile if he thinks of a new question, but he's very accepting. If you put it to someone like a shameful, horrible disease, they automatically won't want it. Hope this helped! :)
  8. Thank you for sharing :) Opening up to people who know what you are going through is a huge first step in really accepting and becoming ok with everything. I felt the same way after I found out. I had been lied to and now "my life was ruined". None of my friends knew the guy, but my cousin did. I have a feeling that she knew he was more than bad news, but she didn't try to stop anything. Her reasoning was that I was an adult. She and I don't talk very much anymore. I'm also in Ohio, so if you ever need to talk face to face we could probably make that happen. Keep your head up :)
  9. I really enjoy the products. I've been spending so much money on them that I figured I should start selling them! The stress of trying to build a customer base is getting to me. I'm not sleeping much and because I'm already sick my immune system is down. I'm kind of expecting an outbreak to hit any time now.
  10. I am an independent consultant with Perfectly Posh. I sell naturally based beauty products. I LOVE our stuff. I try to use natural stuff in life anyways, so this was just a logical step for me. Actually, I'm thinking that our "Healer" stick may work well with cold sores. I can't say for sure, but it's helped me with a lot of things. I'm currently using it on my face because I picked at a pimple and scarred it a little.
  11. Hello! I was just wondering how everyone was doing? Things have been crazy lately here. I started Valtrex again, so I'm having a relatively quite time with my herpes. The boyfriend is at Army training for a few weeks, so that's no fun. We are still going strong though! We have been intimate, so this is looking more and more like a success story. I also have opened my own business through an amazing company and that has been keeping me busy. So things are good here. I am in a completely different and better place than I was when I first joined and it is all thanks to this site! :)
  12. Take a deep breath. You need to forgive yourself first. You didn't know that it could be spread orally, and also didn't know that you were having an outbreak. Now that you know, you can make better decisions in the future and also tell other people! Ever since I accepted it I've been educating people as often as I can. He may be able to forgive you, but he really needs to work on accepting this himself. It's going to rough at times. He needs a friend that he can trust right now, and it seems like that's what you can be. So try to be his shoulder to lean on right now. In the mean time we are all here to talk to and support you!
  13. First step is to breath! Everything will turn out ok. I promise :) You can try getting the blood test as well. If a bump is appearing I would go in and have that swabbed too. It's not the end of the world, even if it may seem so at first. Herpes tends to pop up for me when I am really stressed, or if I have been sick. We are all here to listen and help you as best we can. ((HUGS)) Bookworm
  14. H can be really good about separating those people that "just want to hook up". I'm sure you are disappointed but keep your head up! There are many people out there who will accept everything about you. :)
  15. Welcome to the site :) We are all so glad that you've joined us. People accept it all differently. It took me two years and quite a few bad "relationships" to accept it. Honestly, it took me getting another STD to really start accepting myself. There is no right or wrong way (though I would suggest working it out BEFORE you have more sexual relationships) I encourage you to read the posts on here. Really take the stories in and post! It will help. You can also private message me if you need to talk on a more personal level :) I am always glad to lend an ear. Bookworm.
  16. Thank you both! I am literally over the moon about this. I haven't felt this way about a man since my last serious relationship. While it's scary it is also thrilling. I'm falling head over heels. I couldn't even stop myself if I tried. He's coming to stay the night this weekend. I've been on Valtrex for over a week, haven't had any weird feelings, and we are all stocked up on protection (I overstock now that I want things to be different) Should I be ok on the viral shedding?
  17. I'm all in for a secret tree fort meeting! Somewhere warm though… this weather is killing me. :D
  18. Dancer, i know there's a place but would you recommend a couple both using the site? Just curious :)
  19. Victoria I'm sure you are tired of hearing about him by now :D lol. He is a catch. Im still amazed he picked me. That would be AWESOME! My dr didn't give me anything :( Herry thank you :) so far I've been on cloud nine constantly. It's at the point I'm annoying myself lol. I have a feeling he's 1 of 6 but we are taking things slow right now. :) I hope things are going well for you as well.
  20. I do disagree with one thing Harry said, "It's not going to go over well. Of course, I understand you're nervous. It seems like a big thing to disclose." It may actually go over just fine! Try not to stress it too much. I personally have had a few great disclosures lately and have found it's in the way you present it. If you talk like it is the worst thing in the world that could happen (it's not!) then your partner automatically is going to start off thinking that way. If you are calmer about it and give the facts, it tends to go over better. Good luck!
  21. While I was talking to my new boyfriend last night he said those words I dread. " I did some research on HSV-2 last night." He even followed it up with "You are really fantastic." My heart dropped tho my stomach and I quickly asked him if those words were going to be followed with "…but I can't risk it." That's how the conversation has started in the past. I prepared myself for the worst. I don't think I can go through that again right now. He sounded very surprised and said "what? no? Why would you think that?" After I explained my hesitations he said that he wanted to be adult about everything and do the research. He had a few questions that we looked up together over the phone. I directed him to this site, since there is so much wonderful information! He told me that he would like for us to do it together. I love that he respects the fact I post on here often and is respecting my privacy. I'm posting this story for two reasons. 1. Encouragement! Keep talking about it even after the first talk. Having a relationship this open has been amazing. 2. Questions. What sites do you get your most reliable information from? Something I can give to him if he has more questions. Since you use the site would you direct your H- partner to also use it for information? *** ( Dancer - I know you are going to be reading this and I have an update for you. He officially asked me to be in a committed relationship with him today!) ***
  22. Strawberrygirl, While we all hope we don't get more outbreaks in the future, the chances of that are slim. I still get 2-3 a year. It's important to remember all the positive things you have found on here while having an outbreak. Maybe try suppressive therapy as well :)
  23. Adrial I feel the same way. If I'm single and not having outbreaks I don't take the therapy. Now that I'm starting a new relationship I'll be back on it, mostly for his safety. Any cut in the risk is worth it to me! I've never noticed any side effects before either.
  24. Hello Moonsigngirl! First, welcome to the forum. I think you'll find the support that you need here. Second, instead of reading the posts that are full of shame, try reading the success stories. For instance, my first post is titled "Lonely" and my most recent post is titled "Successful Herpes Disclosure". I came to this forum because I was being too hard on myself. I have always beat myself up, and this was just one more reason I had to. Since being on here it feels like a weight has been lifted. It's hard to explain but all I know is that if I hadn't found this site, I wouldn't be in the relationship I am today. My thought is (take it with a grain of salt please) that maybe you are taking those feelings from your marriage that you may not want to deal with right now (I'm very good at misplacing emotions) and putting them into something you have full control over. You have never felt this way about your positive status before, but now that things are falling out of your control in another part of your life, there's a part you can control. I'm not a psychologist so this isn't a professional opinion. We are all here to help you work through this :)
  25. Victoria - The more we talk the more I feel like we aren't sisters but twins. It's so weird :D Klopz - Thank you! Maybe it's in the way we have all been disclosing? I think because of this site I've been more confident and accepting of myself. Instead of crying and feeling like it's the worst thing that could happen to me when I'm disclosing (because if I feel that way HE'S going to feel that way about it and not want to risk it) I've been able to be very open, honest, and confident about it. Which is something he said he admired. Update - especially for Dancer! He has basically asked me out, but told me he didn't want to do it over text but
  • Create New...