bookworm21

Haha we need shirts and every thing! "Herpes party for ten?" I can imagine them calling our reservation now. Then we'll go gamble. :D

I don't ever think I've had as in depth a lesson in proper condom wear, thank you for that :D . Now I just keep imagining a "winky" in a three piece suit. I think it's time for bed.

It's a hard lesson to teach, because you want them to realize it is serious (Especially if they aren't "lucky" like us and get HIV or AIDS!!) but you don't want them to feel down and alone if they do end up getting something. I'd love any suggestions you have :)

Oh I know! Looking back I should have had much better judgement, but alas I was a 19 year old with stars in her eyes. Tough lessons are the ones that stick with you though. I'm better for it in the end. I could have gone on and gotten something much, much worse. I'm glad to be joining you! I hope to one day meet some of you in person. It would be interesting dinner conversation for sure! Just imagine the faces of those who listen in :D :)

Depending on how it was done that could be a cute shirt design. :D

That was amazing. I loved it! Thank you :)

Let me start by saying I'm sorry that happened. I'm sure it hurt, especially with you being so great about it. Keep your head up :) I agree with everyone else that you should tell him. However I would try to make sure it comes from a concerned place of "You may have an STD and really should get tested" not a more revenge type place of "she chose you over me and now I'm going to let you know your life has changed forever." I'm not saying that you would do that, but I've been in a similar situation before and didn't work through my anger at my ex leaving me for his ex. In the end the message I sent was mean and was meant to shake her up. Looking back I could have handled it better, and I doubt she's gotten tested. We are all here for you :) I know that you are a great writer and will be able to deliver the news in the best possible way!

Serial dater is the perfect explanation of some people doing online dating (myself included I think :O ) I've been online dating awhile now and have found some interesting things. There was a situation that I came across that stopped me in my tracks. I do not disclose on my profile that I have H. I had been dating someone and things were getting to the point I disclosed. The guy I had been talking to freaked out on me, even though we hadn't done anything. We had been kissing and that led to him putting my hand where I didn't want it at that point. After I left the date he texted me and told me he had poured a bottle of vodka on his naughty bits (I bet that felt great) and made me really feel down about myself. Then I realized he was just a lonely, somewhat crazy guy from the internet and tried to forget about it. So be careful out there! There is a reason people date online (including myself) and you should learn as much as you can about them. Because they may just freak out and waste a perfectly good bottle of booze ;) Good luck!

Thank you both so much! I am having a much better day today after having discussions with multiple people. I am trying to turn my thinking around to seeing this as a sign. I am going to slow everything down. I've been going through relationships way too fast these past few years. I think I have the accepting rejection part down though! Thanks online dating. :D I also think I'm going to start having serious discussions with some of my friends. The way I've been living these past few years with H (I posted my story if you want the details) has not really shown anyone in my life they should take STD's seriously.

I got the herpes from a guy that was much older than me. I was 19 and he was 33. I had been so "sheltered" I guess that I didn't even think about it. We only hooked up twice. I was caught up in the moment and didn't make him use a condom. Even though I went and got plan B the next day, I never thought about getting tested. I was at the point where I thought that the worst thing that could happen was an unexpected pregnancy. Boy was I wrong. We hooked up again about a week and a half later. I had been in pain but I thought it was just pain from the last time we had sex. Sex the second time was just too painful for me though. The next day I discovered the blister. I sobbed for a few days and then went to urgent care when I couldn't go to the bathroom without wanting to scream. I still remember the pain from the swab as the worst pain I've ever been in. I was crying so hard during the exam that the dr prescribed me some intense pain relievers. I cried for the first few weeks about how unfair life was. When I first contacted the man that gave it to me I just mentioned that I was going to the dr. He wanted to know what was wrong and acted concerned. When I told him what was going on he said his ex may have given something to him and he was sorry. After the diagnosis was confirmed I got ahold of him again. He began to deny everything and in turn blamed me for giving it to him. I had done the research and knew that this was my first outbreak. It matched the timeframe and everything. After a few more outbreaks I know for sure that was my first. They all come with the same symptoms and unbearable pain. Right after it happened I actually got a little more promiscuous, just with the wrong kinds of guys. These past few months I've come to realize that most of the guys who are ok with having sex with me right away (especially the ones who still don't want to use protection) are not the guys I need in my life. It's been a hard lesson to learn. As the first few guys accepted the herpes, I thought they were doing me a favor. I mean, I was damaged goods. Who would want to be with someone like that? It's been a hard road to realize that I am worth so much more than that. I don't want to just hook up and have sex anymore. I don't want to risk their health and mine. I'm not willing to risk my emotions for a quick hookup that may feel good at the time, but five minutes after I'm going to regret it and resent the person I was with. Even though it's been a very long journey here (over two years now) I am looking at this as a new starting point. I am reaching out for the help and support I should have long ago. I'm going to give the same support to other people and work through this. After all, if so many wonderful people on here are going through the same thing, how can I tell myself I'm awful for having it?

Hello, I would love to find more people to talk to in person or online. I live in Ohio and so far I haven't met anyone else who has it, or who will admit to having it. I've been lonely lately so an H buddy would be welcome. I've come to realize that I didn't accept it when I thought I did, mostly I just ignored it until I disclosed it. Dating has brought these feelings back and I need friends.

Thank you for commenting! I have been on suppressive therapy a few times over the years, but I tend to stop taking it. Maybe it's a self punishment thing? I've realized that I'm hardest on myself. That's one of the reasons I have joined. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with myself. I can't seem to be happy with myself right now, and I haven't felt this way since I first got diagnosed. I laid in bed and cried for weeks. Then things got better. But after a bad breakup with an ex who accepted me and the disease 100%, and dating guys who can't accept it, I'm back in that dark place. I've decided I need people to look up to. Maybe reading the things other people post, and encouraging others when I am down will help. Again, thank you for your kind words :)

I was diagnosed with herpes 2 when I was 19. I am now 21 and the loneliness and depression that comes along with being diagnosed has not changed. My close friends and family know and while they try, sometimes their "help" isn't really help at all. I've been dating recently and that opens the door to so many different challenges. My mother decided to give me some advice, she told me that since I usually disclose that I was date raped (I have PTSD thanks to that) that I should just combine the two. "I was date raped when I was 16 and I have herpes". Not necessarily lying but not telling them that I was a stupid 19 year old who trusted too much and got burned. I feel so much guilt all the time, not only trying to play on someones sympathy by telling them this way, but also having herpes in general. I don't know if someone will ever be able to accept it. Every time I start talking to someone new and they tell me that they think I'm great, I can't help but think "you won't once you know". The good men that really like me for who I am don't want to take the risk, and the men who will take the risk only want sex. In turn I settle for the attention I shouldn't because I feel it's all I deserve. Even during sexual encounters I get depressed and don't really want to continue. I feel like my dating life is over before I even hit the quarter point in my life. I just need advice. Friends would be great too.