stuckinarut

Thank you. This is the first time I've been rejected over this so it's hitting me really hard, but I'm trying to be as hopeful as possible. Everything is going to be okay and my brain knows that, but my heart is aching something serious. Thanks for tuning in @HikingGirl I really appreciate it. :-)

Thanks @HikingGirl I was extremely hopeful about this guy, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. To make matters worse he texted me today asking if I was okay and that I could call him if I just wanted to talk like really dude. I basically told him not thanks I'm good and that he made his choice and we both have to live with it and move on. I also thanked him for being a good man and genuine, but I had to ask him to leave me alone. There's no way I could ever heal from this and just be his friend I'm almost offended that he'd even try to do that because he knows how I feel. I just want to crawl into a corner and cry. It may have been a short time, but they way he treated me was amazing and he talked as if we were already in a relationship. I just can't, the more I think about him the more I want to cry because I'm thinking about what could have been.

We had the talk and he was really stunned and the way he was speaking I knew he didn't accept it. He told me he needed more information even though I was answering all his questions. He wanted to go to the doctor with me and ask more about it, so I made an appointment for today we had the talk Wednesday. Then last night he decided he can't accept it and ended it with me. He told me he was scared and didn't want what catch it. He said he can't live with the idea that anytime he has sex with me unprotected he could possibly get it. I explained how EVERYTHING works and it just wasn't enough. I was devastated and cried in front of him I told him he had to end the facetime call because I wouldn't. He ended it and I cried for a while then I just jumped up and went for a long walk. I ended up at the riverside near my apartment and just looked across the water in deep though there was a breeze that just flowed through me. I stayed there for a while then made my way home. I felt, so much better after just taking a minute to breath. I keep telling myself that it was only a couple week that we knew each other anyways, but I was so emotionally connected to this guy. It felt like he was it for me he was everything I've been looking for. I can't get him out of my head. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Thanks! I decided to tell him in person it's killing me, but I know it's the right thing. I'm going to tell him this Thursday toward the end of our date I guess I just don't know. I just hope I don't spit it out and forget the stats or everything I've been rehearsing. I totally see this happening. Pray for me!!

I'm really into this guy I've been dating and so scared to tell him that I have herpes. Being with him is like nothing I've ever felt before and I can't fathom the idea of not being with him. I also told him, so many times this past week, but itnjist never came out and I can't take it anymore. I have to tell him or I'm going to explode. It's like I just need it to be out in the air because I need to work if this things between us is real or not. I want to tell him like right now, but he's on his way to work and usually talks to me while he's there because he does security and has extra time. I want to tell him tonight while we are on FaceTime that's pretty much the only way we communicate when we aren't together. I want to tell him how I feel about it then just spit it out. At this point I'm just freaking out because I really really like him and I can't see myself without him. I kind of want to tell him when we meet up again, but I just have this feeling that I should tell him today or maybe it's just my fear of rejection. Idk guys do you think FaceTime isn't the way I should go? At this time I'm not sure when we are going to hang again and if I have to hold onto this any longer spontaneous combustion will occur. I know the dramatics may seem like a bit much, but this thing is really building inside me and it's stressing me out. It doesn't help that I'm currently in the middle of a very minor outbreak, I just need to tell him.

Thanx for the hug Bambina3. And yessssss I was so happy it worked out the way it did.

He actually took it very well he feels so strongly about me and told me he still feels like a lucky man to have me and that he's not going anywhere. He expressed that he will be there for me when I need him. I was so relieved that he said that to me and he was very understanding about the everything I told him. He read the pamphlets and we talked about how it happened and what I've been dealing with. I tried to make sure the conversation didn't get to far on negative side of herpes but I did make it clear. I thought he might have had more questions but he didn't. He really appreciated me telling him before we got intimate and now we are getting even closer.

I think I was just really overwhelmed in the moment. I had to calm myself down tell him how I felt about him then I told.

So I've been talking to this guy for a little over a month now and I really like him. We hang out a lot and I feel like I have really gotten to know him even in this short amount of time. Things always stay PG of course but I could really see myself with him. He recently 21 and I'm 23 turning 24 next month so there's a bit of an age difference. We were just talking on skype and he reveals that he's actually a virgin. He lied and said he wasn't because "he doesn't want to lose me." And I'm thinking you don't want to lose me little does he know I'm the one that is really worried about losing him. Now conversation feels forced because I'm freaking out I can't tell a virgin that I want to be his first it all just feels so wrong to me now. I have no idea what to say or do next. Any ideas?!???? Please help me desperation is sinking in. ;-(.

I agree with willow it may not exactly make things "easier". However disclosure is a really difficult thing so if the person is positive it will feel like a small weight has been lifted off your shoulders. When I had my first disclosure I struggled pretty badly but in the end it worked out. That relationship is over now but not because I'm positive and he's not so that was a big thing for me. I don't plan on dating anytime soon but when I do decide to would I want someone that's positive maybe just because I tried it one way and now want to do something different. I don't think there's any harm in doing it vice versa either :-)

@abbyroad thanks for the defense but I in no way was offended by what anyone said I came on here because I needed to make sense of everything that was going on in my head. Everyone said what I was already thinking I just wanted some much needed encouragement. Which ended up coming in the shade of tough love but it's a very serious matter so I understood the reaction completely. I took everyone's advice with the lightest heart and really appreciated it all it helped me do exactly what I knew I needed to and things worked out well.

Thanks!

I told him and I think it was the best reaction I could have gotten. He didn't yell or get upset he just let me speak and I got everything off my chest I swear a weight has been lifted now I only pray that I didn't give him anything accidentally he's a good man and I knew that already but has become even more obvious now. I started crying during my disclosure and not even because I wanted him to feel bad but when the words left my mouth " I have genital herpes" he didn't flinch he just let everything come out on the table and told me one of his secrets. I don't want to get to excited though because things can always change the person closest to him may not agree with it and could possibly change his mind about me but for now I'm trying to keep positive thoughts. Thanks for all the support everyone :) (((( HUGS)))

@ victoriaxxx Thank you for the advice I wish I would have said it right away that would have been easier i literally made it harder for myself. But I am going to make this right. Pr at least as right as I can.

Well first off hello everyone :) i really appreciate all of your opinions I came on here because I did know what needed to happened but I didn't know in what way to go about it @HerryTheHerp what you said was exactly what I needed to hear yes it was a little harsh but this is a very serious matter so I get the undertone is going to seem worse and these are emails so I don't know if our screaming at the computer or not :) So in no way am I taking these comments in a bad way. Everyone is correct within their own opinions. I have some serious soul searching to do I need to put my big girl pants on really soon because I know lying was the worst thing I could have done. But now instead of beating myself up I'm trying to reach out and I think that is the first step. The when and where is the biggest question in my mind now right this moment. What setting do I want to be in? But even within that comment I am still only thinking about myself which needs to stop. I came on here because I needed to think out loud and get a complete opinion that is in not way bias to me. Even as I'm writing this comment my current views are changing I don't want to be this person I know I can't avoid it forever I just feel like I know this person so much that I'm already playing how things are going to go. I'm psyching myself out and it's going to drive me crazy if i don't just say it. When I lie i feel like my head gonna explode that's why I came so close to telling him last week but the words just didn't form. I know exactly what I need to do disclosing is one thing post disclosure is the real biggie. The thought that he may actually get it and it be all my fault. I've already made the decision to tell him I'm just trying to get myself mentally prepared.