Hello @ekaterina92
You are the first person I have found yet that has a story similar to mine! I have been searching and searching. You are not alone. I too am suffering in a similar way and I my mental health fuel tank is low but hang in there! There is always a solution we just haven't found it yet.
My story below. I am a male 46years age.
It's been over a year since I have developed issues and I cannot obtain a solid diagnosis on my symptoms. My partner is GHSV2 positive and has been our entire three year relationship. We have had unprotected sex almost daily for three years.
We only found out about her status 1.5years ago when she had her first outbreak. That is when I also developed symptoms. It started with pain in abdomen and UTI type feelings, more frequent urination. I developed tiny lesions in my urethral tract and some were visible from the top. These were swabbed and PCR negative. Both of us took IGG serology and I was HSV2 negative, partner positive as expected and also she is confirmed by PCR swab. I was referred to a dermatologist but I did not go. We refrained from intercourse for a few weeks, the pain and feelings subsided.
Our relationship continued and so did the intercourse. To our surprise my symptoms returned not long after having sex again. This time they got worse. Small lesions on the outside now on the head of the penis. These are raised but did not pop. Intensely painful. I attempted to get a swap and PCR but the clinic said they are too small to even swab. We stopped intercourse and the pain subsided but further to our surprise the raised lesions remained. They stayed for months.
More surprises. Each time we had sex the small raised lesions would 'reactivate' again and I would be in pain. This started to happen every time we had sex. Sometimes not so painful, other times so bad I could hardly walk. New lesions appeared sometimes. Always very small, always painful.
This pattern has been going on for 1.5years. I have had around 5 separate IGG serology, all negative for HSV2. In February my partner had another outbreak. This time in a different place (it can happen) and only two tiny tiny lesions. Both her outbreaks were short. First one 2 days, this one in Feb around 24 hours. Call us crazy but we had unprotected intercourse while she was active. Within 14hrs I developed the same lesions. Yes, 14hrs! A few small and very painful ones on the shaft of the penis. We were unable to obtain a PCR swab as they were gone completely in 24hrs. Yes all very strange.
I waited 2.5months and had another IGG serology. Negative!
As you can imagine this is taking a huge toll on our relationship and my mental health. Sex = pain and uncertainty as to if I am risking catching something I do not have or so I already have. As I am sitting here writing this, I have some adominal pain. The location of the pain used to move around always starting bladder/abdominal then moving to reactivated small spots or in the urethra. If I guessed, there are small lesions all through my bladder than reactivate on a new exposure. We started calling it 'dosing'. Each time we have sex I say I'm getting a new extra dose that will increase my pain and I can only take so many doses before I say we have to hold off on sex for a while. Haha it's funny thinking about it now.
We had previously reached conclusion that I was in some bizarre way immune to HSV2 since I keep coming up negative. Like my body could fight it off even when it tried to infect me. Recently the theory has changed. It looks like HSV, feels like HSV and acts like HSV so it must be HSV. I now believe I more likely have it but I do not seroconvert. I cannot produce antibodies.
Since I cannot produce antibodies I have limited protection from the virus. So the virus causes re-infection each time we have sex. My partner must to some extent shed small amount of virus and the variation in pain each time we do have sex relates to the amount of virus I receive. That of course if a completely uneducated estimation of what is going on. Medically I so far am told I do not have it.
I have an appointment with two separate dermatologists in a months time and hopefully they can shed some light on this. I am yet to fully understand what is wrong with me.