valkyrie

Hi there Herry! Always enjoy your posts, and this one especially. Thank you for the laugh! ~valkyrie

@WCSDancer2010 Atta girl! Who wouldn't want to be with wonderful, amazing, spectacular you?? Sending all those positive vibes out to you- shine that ever so bright light of yours!! Much love, ~valkyrie

Thoughts become things! Thank you Adrial! We have all heard the expression "you are what you eat", and so holds "we are what we feed ourselves" ... negativity, disappointment or joy and enlightenment . And oh gosh, doesn't joy taste just like hot fudge ripple? Are you ready, folks?? Eat up!

As beautiful as my life has been, filled with blessings beyond counting, I've come to the realization that having herpes has actually led me to be a happier person. No, I'm not on any hallucinogen - let me explain. When I discovered I had herpes, I found the bottom of the low. Each of us has a wide range of emotions, and I actually plunked down smack dab on my rear at the darkest point of my mind, and was filled with incredible earth shattering despair. I truly thought my life was over and that I was dirty and no one could possibly ever love me or want me again (interesting how so much of having herpes is a MENTAL state). And I screamed. I cried. The pain was excruciating physically, but my mind and heart were in an even worse state. I was up all night and finally fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. When I woke again a few hours later, my eyes were swollen nearly shut, and I could barely feel my hands from the stress. I got up, opened the window, blew my nose, then breathed in the icy winter air deeply and exhaled it slowly. And then a surprising thing happened. I breathed in again and out again. I was alive. Not only was I alive but I was taking pleasure in breathing, actually enjoying the fresh crisp air in my lungs. And I realized that if I could take pleasure in this, then there must be a thousand other things I had previously taken for granted that I would find unexpected joy in. And that I had reached the bottom the night before - knowing where the bottom is has given me perspective, and also a solid foundation to start building again, on wards and upwards. Herpes has taught me: -To give others the benefit of the doubt always. To be more patient. -To take greater delight in the little things, and to look for them. -To open my heart, be honest to a fault. -To give others permission to love me -To act each day to create happiness in others lives -To forgive myself and others -To shine out extraordinary light. To be an example. -To be more accepting of the things I can and cannot change. -To be unabashedly and unapologetically happy So thank you, Herpes. From the very bottom to the tippity top, ~Valkyrie

I adore this man.

I bawled my own blue eyes out for you @blueeyes. Beautiful!! I totally know the feeling of doubt and dread and "here goes nothing", and I went for it, with the most amazing awe inspiring success! Man of my dreams can't get enough of me!! The most amazing thing is, my small victory in disclosure is also leading to great success in my profession life because I have become something of a fearless zealot! Not that I think everyone should contract herpes, but I will absolutely say that being able to move beyond it and be unafraid has helped me in so many unsuspecting ways, and I feel I am a better person now than I was 6 months ago. May you know beauty and happiness beyond your wildest dreams, -Valkyrie

@bmt28 your story is inspiring. I think of Tyrion from Game of Thrones.. "Use it like armor." Thank you for sharing!

Adrial, thank you for this. I am just about to have a talk with my daughter- she is just about to go off to college. At the tender age of 18 we think we're invincible, and it's important for her to understand that even with a condom she can't be 100% certain that she'll be protected. I'm going to share my experience with her, and thanks so much to the support of this beauty-full group of people, I've discovered the strength to do just that. Thank you for the resources, and for being amazing! Be strong, be well, ~valkyrie

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. Thích Nhất Hạnh Can't resist. Be strong, be well, ~valkyrie

I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." JRR Tolkein Irresistible thread! Thank you all for your inspiration! Be strong, be well, ~valkyrie

Hi jsmith, I'm so sorry. That sounds awfully painful. My first and second were excruciating as well, I understand. Adrial is so right - keeping your stress level is vitally important. Meditating, yoga for relaxation, or just breathing deeply with some calming music can help. I know that can be difficult when simply urinating is like razors and every motion reminds you of what is going on down there. I took a cup of warm Epsom salt water and poured it over when I had to go. It helped tremendously. Also, warm used tea bags (and drink the tea - green, white or echinacea - the antioxidants will fortify your immune system and just the act of drinking a cup of tea can be calming) applied is a lifesaver. Tea tree oil will help dry and heal, and you can find that at any pharmacy. Check out some of the videos from this blog - there are some genius veterans on here with practical advice that will absolutely help. Just to see them smile and talk about it at the same time helps. You are strong - you can do this! Be strong, be well, ~valkyrie

Dear Collegechick, I'm sorry you're going through this. It can be so frightening when you first find out, and feel all those horrible feelings of loneliness and hopelessness, and feeling unloveable. You are not alone. You do not have a disease. You've caught a virus. It's like getting chickenpox... You'll always have it in your system. But, does having had chickenpox define you? Herpes has a horrible reputation. It does not define you though. You are the same wonderful, smart, beautiful and loveable person you were before. I know the place you are in. It is dark and scary. I've been there, and not too long ago. I wanted to die and felt my life was over. Finding this group was a lifeline to pull me back to reality. The day I found out was only a few months ago, and now I have to admit I don't think about it all the time. Sometimes I go several days without even thinking about the fact that I have HSV2. It truly does not impact my happiness. Check out the resources on this site and keep posting. Everyone here understands and accepts you. Be well, ~valkyrie

Thank you all, especially @WCSDancer2010 you are an inspiration!

Update! And spoiler alert, this is now a success story! So this morning we were finally able to have a good deep intimate talk and I explained I had something important and private to share with him, because I respect him and value him so deeply, and that it was very intimate and personal. I explained how I found out (there were some other health issues that led me to test) and that I probably have had it for a long time, even when we were together last, probably as long as since I was in my teens. I asked him what were his thoughts on that? His response, verbatim "I'm going to do some research to learn more about it my love, but rest assured that our bond, our love is stronger than anything and we will endure, fight and overcome any obstacle together. You are very important to me my treasure!" Love conquers all! I fell so amazing on many levels. One, that having shared this with him has lifted a heavy weight off. And two, it solidified in my mind and heart a love that I knew was so deep and true... Gave it a concrete foundation of which to build a beautiful life! Thank you all for your sharing and openness. This has helped me grow so much! Valkyrie

@silentstandoff you are an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing this intimate story.

So, here I am - two months after discovering I have herpes. After quickly going in and out of a very dark place, I am once again myself - only better. Stronger. Deeply happy. Refocusing on taking care of my body, mind and spirit has helped me understand how having herpes does not negatively impact my life. It has in truth only made me more positive, more grateful, more empathetic. In this enlightening, I have rekindled a romance with someone whom I had a brief brilliant ride with three years ago. He moved quite far away for family reasons (in another country). We have been talking again for about one month. We skype and message each other frequently, and are intimately connected on so many levels. I am about to share this intimate detail about myself with him. It is very likely that I had the virus when I was with him before (quite unbeknownst to me), so this is an interesting conversation that is about to happen. I am interested in this community's thoughts.. I have read all of the handouts and messages - I am most thoughtful of making sure I do not leave anything out, so he can understand what I am going through. Also, I cannot do this in person - but I do not want to wait until I see him in September - that would be dishonest. It is so frightening, as he is so very important to me. Has anyone else had this sort of experience? Thank you ever so much.